A Magician's Secrets
by Chloe Winchester
Summary: Sequel to "Black Magic Woman" Magnus has lived a very long life, and Alec wants to know about it. But as Magnus spins his tale, he finds out that Magnus' life hasn't been what he thought. Hurt!Magnus throughout and of course, my specialty, Malec
1. Where the Magic Happened

--I promised a sequel, and here it is. Enjoy, my lovelies!--

1

**Where the Magic Happened**

"Alexander, stop it!" Magnus giggled, trying to wriggle away. "That tickles! Knock it off!" He continued to laugh and Alec continued to tickle. Magnus finally grabbed his hands when his sides went numb. "Okay, stop…stop…" he smiled up at him, still chuckling. Alec smiled back, leaning down to kiss him.

"Alright," he said once they broke apart. "Let's start. I want to know everything about you."

"Well, what if I want to know about you?" Magnus retaliated, sitting up on the couch.

"My life won't take nearly as long to tell about as yours will," he sat up, using that puppy dog look he had that worked on Magnus every time. "Please?" Magnus sighed, seeing through what Alec was trying to do, but when he looked at him like that…

"Alright, alright.," he said, appeasing him. "Where do you want me to start?"

"At the beginning." Magnus smiled.

"Alright."

* * *

The beginning is always a good place to start.

The world was a different animal eight hundred years ago. The Crusades raged on, serfs worked agonizingly while the royalty sat in their castles without a care.

But I remained naïve to all of this. I had no idea that there was a world past the village I lived in. Hell, I didn't know what the village_ looked_ like.

I was damned since my mother gave birth to me. The minister, my father and my mother were the only ones present when the so called miracle happened. When their eyes fell on mine they knew. They knew they had a demon in their midst. Mother screamed. Father jumped away repulsed.

"Kill it!" The minister had bellowed, casting holy water onto me. "Kill the demon before it slaughters us all!"

My father wanted to. He was all for the murder of the monster that I was. My mother stopped him, somehow, someway she did. And from their mercy I was granted my life.

From the earliest memories I had, I was only allowed in a few places. The corner in which I slept and outside in which I was beaten. The corner was cold. Always cold. The few strands of straw on which I laid were nearly always damp and dirty. I was allowed a blanket only in the dead of winter. And it was tattered, frayed and decorated with holes. And my clothes were the same, if not worse.

I taught myself how to speak. I nearly taught myself to walk. Mother would barely ever touch me. And I was lucky if Father spit on me.

Food was scarce. I was lucky to get a crust of bread once a day. Stale, cold. Nothing was ever warm. Nothing. My father struck me whenever he could. Sometimes in a drunken rage, sometimes because he felt like it. He told me I was going to Hell no matter what I did.

"DISGUSTING SPAWN OF SATAN!" He would scream, right before he kicked me in the ribs as hard as he could. I was eight.

He hit Mother often, not as much as he hit me, but often for what she had created. Somehow it was all her fault that I turned out like this. She never called me a name, or struck me, not once. However, she did not stop the cruelty of Father's punishments. Nor did she show any sign that she was my mother. I didn't know what a normal family was supposed to be for centuries to come.

I was told that God hated me. God would surely punish me and send me to the fiery Pit that I was sure to die in. Every day I was told this.

I remember once when I was ten that Father told me I was a monster. He said I should be ashamed.

I kept my eyes down, as usual. If I looked him in the eye he'd break my arm again.

"You should be ashamed, boy!" Never my name. Just boy. He grabbed my arm tight, hard, and dragged me outside.

"No, Father, please!" I begged. He growled, furious, and threw me at the base of a tree that stood a few yards away.

He tied a rope around my wrists too tight, making them bleed. I started to cry, only angering him further. He slapped me, hard, but the tears kept coming. He threw the rest of the rope over a low-hanging branch. It was high enough. High enough to make me stand on the tips of my toes in order to stay up.

With one harsh yank my weak and weary clothes fell away. I was out in the open, exposed and vulnerable. Just a child.

"You show thy Lord your shame," He growled and left me. He left me there. I didn't know what to do. So I cried. I cried and I prayed for redemption. I prayed for mercy. I cried so hard.

Two days past. I stayed out in the open, in the cold until the afternoon of the third day. I started to fight the ropes, ever still weeping. That's when I felt it. For the first time, I felt it.

There was a strange tickle in my hands that grew hot, but not unbearably so. I looked up and saw the blue lightning darting between my fingers. The light burned the ropes, but not me. The rope sizzled and burned away, leaving my skin totally unharmed. I tried to make it stop, tried with all of my might to make it stop.

"Stop, stop, please!" But the bolts just kept going. The rope fell away and I fell to my knees, sobbing. It took me several minutes to notice Mother.

Judging by the look on her face, she'd been standing there for awhile.

I was scared, more scared than I'd veer been. This time, however, it wasn't of my father. It was of myself.

"Wh-what am I?" I cried. She just looked at me. I wept harder when she disappeared inside. I was alone, totally alone. As usual.

_What do I do?_ I thought, trembling. _Father will kill me. He will surely kill me for this. I _AM_ a demon! _

Something fell with a light rustle behind me. I turned, my eyes blurred with tears. The blanket I was only permitted to have during the winter months was laying next to me, at Mother's feet. She nodded to me when I looked at it. I picked it up, my hands shaking and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"How did you do that?" She asked quietly.

"I d-do not know," I wailed, face in my hands. "Please, M-Mother, kill m-me. Kill me b-before the darkness inside me eradicates y-you all!" She stared at me for a moment, just staring, like she wasn't quite sure how she should proceed.

"I can not kill you," she whispered. I cried still, hating my existence. "You are still my child…Magnus."

That day was very significant for two reasons: I came into my powers, not fully, but I came into them, and I learned my name.

The magical instances did not stop there. A little over a year later, Father and the minister that had birthed me performed an exorcism. They almost drowned me in a vat of holy water, and they would have, if not for the phenomena of the tub exploding. I was tied to the coat hook in my corner after that.

The attempts on my life also followed this incident. The first attempt was as to be expected. The entire able-bodied peoples of the village came to our humble cottage, burst open the door and dragged me outside. Father joined the crowd and melded with them so well he could've been the mob itself.

The villagers had heard legends of me, the demon with a child's face to deceive them all. I was there to rob them of their Godliness and take Christianity away from all of them, damning them to Hell with my temptations. Right, because an eleven year old absolutely knows how to do that. Logic? I think not.

A rope wrapped around my neck. They hauled me by that. I coughed and choked and begged for them to let me go. Then the cries of "Monster!" "Devil!" "Hell-spawn!" "Witch!" and "Demon!" came. They were dragging me to the horrible tree I had been tied naked to a year ago. They were going to hang me.

The men kicked me, laughed at me, spit on me. I sobbed violently, writhing and squirming. But it was fruitless labor. An eleven year old couldn't overpower a large group of full grown men, especially an undernourished one.

"Please! Please, have mercy!"

"How dare you beg for mercy, heathen!" I was hauled to a standing position by foreign hands. The end of the rope was thrown over the tallest branch it could reach.

It was yanked with an amazing amount of force. My feet left the ground and excruciating pain ruptured from my throat. I clawed at the rope that was suffocating me slowly. All I could hear was their laughter and the horrible rushing of my blood in my ears.

My eyes met Mother's. She looked sad, but when she saw I was looking at her she looked away. I was alone. I was totally alone.

I was dying, surrounded by people who wanted me to suffer and die. Just a child…

The fear inside of me grew to immeasurable heights. That's when my hands sparked again. My fingers that had been digging at the rope uselessly suddenly made a difference. The rope started to wither away, just as before. It was burning everything but me.

They screamed. Their fears were confirmed of what I was. And so were mine.

When I hit the ground again I stared at my lit hands in horror, crying. I was a monster. I am a monster.

They tried to hurt me some more. But anytime they came close they were burned. They couldn't touch me. It blistered their fingers to even come close.

They ran away screaming in fear. Father stared at me with a mixture of shock and hatred.

He didn't dare come near me until the lightning died. I was sobbing so hard my chest hurt. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I didn't understand.

Father stalked toward me and grabbed my hair, forcing my face up, a dagger in his hand.

"This ends now!" He bellowed. I shut my eyes as the dagger fell toward me, waiting for the end, and wanting it.

"John, NO!" Mother's voice. It was the loudest I had ever heard her speak. Father turned, incredulous as to what she had said. "Do not kill him. He is only a boy. If you wish to be condemned to eternal damnation then murder him. God does not forgive the slaughter of a child."

He continued to stare at her as if he'd never seen her before. He looked down at me, that usual look of hatred in his eyes, lip curling in a sneer.

I sniffed, tears still rolling down my cheeks. His vice grip tightened on my hair and he dragged me toward the house. I was tied up to my usual place in the corner and left there to shiver and cry softly. Mother and I had a different relationship from there on out. She would still only help me if it was my life which was in jeopardy. She would never touch me or come closer than two feet, but she would save my life with her words.

Father wanted to kill me after the knife someone tried to use melted before it could prick my skin. He almost beat me to death out of fear and loathing when a man's hands that were trying to strangle me turned to sand and fell away.

I was locked in a chest after that. It was small and dark and hot. But at least it was warm. Mother opened the chest for a few minutes at a time when Father was away to give me some air.

And then they tried to burn me. The whole village turned out for the murder of the little devil. It was two years after the first attack on my life. Father jeered and even helped the people that lit the hay and wood at my feet. Mother stood in the back, just watching. I saw a tear on her cheek.

I cried and begged for mercy. Father had no trouble killing me now. I was thirteen. That was a man as far as he was concerned.

I slaughtered them all. With one burst of energy everyone in the village was dead. My ropes were undone, the fire was out, and I was standing alone. The light I had emitted was so bright it hurt my eyes. And when I looked again they were all on the ground, dead. Men, women, children…

I looked around in horror, sobbing. Father was dead. Mother…Mother was dead too.

_Oh God, what have I done?_ I ran. I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. And I didn't stop until I found that abandoned building.

I waited for death, Alexander. I wanted to die so very badly. I was a demon, after all. I deserved the fiery eternity I was promised. After all of the people I had murdered it only made sense.

I didn't eat, I didn't look for water. I stayed in my dark corner and sobbed, wanting it to just end.

* * *

"What stopped you?" Alec whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked at the tormented warlock in front of him.

Magnus looked up from his hands, a small smile on his lips for the first time since he had began.

"Then Adriana came."

--Alright, chapter numero uno. I know it was hella long but i hope you like it anyway! More soon and tell me what you thought!--


	2. Black Magic Woman

2

**Black Magic Woman**

Alec stared at Magnus for a moment. How could anyone hurt him like that? How could someone do those terrible things to him? To a child?

Magnus glanced up at him through his dark lashes, giving a half smile. "I suppose that explains my issues, doesn't it?" He said quietly. Alec covered the distance between them quickly. He hugged Magnus tight.

"What issues?" He whispered, kissing his cheek. "You're perfect."

"No," Magnus chuckled ruefully. "I'm not perfect. I'm needy, I push the people I care about away, I'm arrogant, snobbish, but underneath it all I'm just pathetic and disgusting."

"Hey!" Alec snapped, looking at him. "Don't you ever, _ever_ say that about my boyfriend again or I'll have to hurt you, understand?" Magnus chuckled as his own words were thrown back at him. "You're not disgusting, you're beautiful. You're everything I ever wanted. And I love you, issues and all." He kissed him softly. Magnus smiled, cheek to cheek with Alec.

"If you insist then," he breathed.

"So, Adriana came..?"

* * *

Yes, Alec, Adriana came. And when she did I was an absolute mess.

I was shivering in the dark corner, my fingers blackened from the attack on the village. The burns on my legs were awful and they stung horribly. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten. My throat was so dry it felt as if I were swallowing glass. I begged for death to come, for God to have mercy and kill me. I had no right to live. Father wasn't a liar, so when he told me that it must've been true.

I heard someone coming. I panicked, unable to stand and run. I buried my face in my hands. If they saw me they would kill me. They would hurt me, just as all the others had. No, no I didn't want to be tortured again. I didn't want them to hurt me.

The person knelt down in front of me and I tried harder to get away, trying to meld through the wall behind me. I felt my fingers start to prickle.

_Oh, God, not again!_

"Shh…calm yourself, child. It's alright." A woman's voice. Hands tried to push mine from my face. No, no they would see me. They would see my eyes and hurt me!

"No!" I croaked, turning my face into the shadows so she couldn't see. "Leave this place! I am a demon! A monster! I am cursed, please, leave me! I beg of you, leave!" Why wouldn't she leave. If she didn't leave soon my hands would start to glow and then…and then…

It was that thought that made me weep.

"If you are a monster," her touch on my cheek was so gentle I had to look at her. No one had touched me like that before. Without malice, without roughness, without hatred. No. This touch was with tenderness, kindness, sympathy. I looked in her eyes. Her bright, fluorescent purple eyes, and gasped. "Then so am I."

I couldn't believe it. I stared at her, wide-eyed. She was like me! I wasn't alone anymore.

"Who are you?" I asked shakily, throat burning. "Wh-what am I?"

"I am Adriana. And you and I are warlocks."

My worst fears were realized then. I may not be alone, but I was still damned. I was still going to Hell. I was still a spawn of something awful. Tears welled in my eyes once more and my lips trembled at the horrible news.

"No…no, oh, dear God, I am damned! I deserve to die! Father was right, Father was right!" I cried into my legs, ashamed and filled to the brim with self loathing.

"Shh…easy, child. Calm thyself. You do not deserve to die, nor do you deserve damnation. You are not a monster. You have a gift." Some gift. "And there are others out there like you, like us. They are not heathens, or blasphemers or defiant of God. They are just as they are. They are warlocks."

I continued to cry, unable to control myself in my weakened state.

"I-I killed them," I sobbed, confessing my guilt, "so m-many people. I did not mean…I killed Mother. I killed F-Father. I did not mean for-"

"Hush child, shh… Were they trying to harm you?" I nodded. "Were you frightened?" I nodded again. She smiled at me, another gesture that had never been directed at me. "It's not your fault that happened. That was something you could not control. I can teach you how to control it. I can teach you how to harness your power so you do not hurt anyone unless you will it to be so. I can help you."

Hope swelled within me for the first time in my short life.

"What is your name, child?" She asked. Child, hmph. She wasn't that much older than me. I could tell by looking at her she wasn't. She smiled at me again.

"M-Magnus." Curiosity got the better of me. "How old are you?"

"I am seven hundred years old." I admit, that number took me completely by surprise. My eyes were record size as I stared at this strange woman. "I know, I don't look it, do I?" I shook my head, hardly acknowledging the act. "This is part of the gift. I'm not sure if it's immortality, but I have no perished yet, have I?" Another head shake. Then she asked the question I had been longing to hear but hadn't understood it. "Would you like to leave this place?" I nodded. I wanted to get out of here more than anything in the world.

She stood, holding out her hand for me to take. "I will not harm you, Magnus. I swear on all that I hold sacred." I trusted her. She hadn't hurt me so far, why would she start now. I hesitated, but I took her hand all the same, wondering if I was truly out of the water.

We started walking when-

* * *

"Magnus, you're always horrible at this part."

The two lovers looked toward the doorway.

"Adriana!"


	3. Dream a Little Dream of Me

3

**Dream a Little Dream of Me**

"Adriana!" Magnus said, smiling. He'd wondered where she had gotten to after the…incident with Alec. He glanced at the young Shadowhunter, shuddering at the thought of his bloody face strewn with tears and cursed wounds from Armand's knife.

"Hello, Magnus," she smiled. "Glad to see you're doing well, Alec. And that the," she glanced out the window, at the sunny and clear skies overhead, "weather seems to be better than the past few days."

"Now what do you mean I'm 'horrible at this part'?" Magnus asked, smirking. Adriana sighed, sitting down in the recliner across from them, scooping up Chairman Meow in the process and setting him in her lap.

"I mean that you skirt over the details and it's not as nearly as good as when I tell it," she said pointedly, petting the small cat. The cat stared at Magnus with a smug look on its face, purring, as if it agreed with the witch holding him.

"Fine," Magnus sighed, sitting back and slinging his arm on the back of the couch and around Alec's shoulders, "take it from here, then."

"Wait," Alec interrupted, looking at Magnus, "you've told this story before?"

"To some of my girlfriends that wanted to know how we met and why the hell we weren't together," Adriana giggled. Magnus flushed, glaring at her.

"Yes, those babbling, giggling, gasping, gossiping hens that you called your friends," he grumped. Alec laughed.

"Anyway…"

* * *

So Magnus and I walked back to the carriage I had come from. I still couldn't believe all of that power I felt came from the child next to me. He looked around nervously, jumping at the smallest noise. I smiled at him, trying to soothe his fear.

Terrible things must have happened to him. No one was this nervous and this unused to kind behavior without it.

He was shivering. I chastised myself for not covering him up sooner. I took the cloak from my shoulders and draped it over his trembling ones. He looked at me, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Is something wrong?" I asked. He pulled the cloth tighter around his narrow shoulders.

"I…I haven't been this warm in…in months," he said softly, not meeting my eyes. I winced, my eyes pained. What in God's name happened to this child?

I couldn't believe how shocked he was when he saw the carriage. It stopped him dead in his tracks. I smiled at his naivety and gestured to the open door. He stepped inside warily, keeping his head down, not making eye contact with me or the doorman. Poor thing…

And if I thought his eyes were wide when he saw the carriage, they were plates when he saw my house. Well, more of a manor really. I wasn't Adriana Vertus then. I was _Countess_ Adriana Vertus. Much more perks than being a woman nowadays. Point being, I had money.

He looked around the hall with curiosity seeping from his every pore.

"I take it you haven't seen a place like this before," I chuckled.

"No, Madame," he said softly, eyes down.

"Where did you live?" I asked, guiding him toward the staircase.

"A hut, Madame. It was the only part of the village I was allowed to see," he said softly. I nodded, trying to understand it all.

"And your parents, what were they like?" He swallowed hard. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, dear." He shook his head.

"Father…Father was cruel. But he didn't… he didn't know any better. But he did hurt me. Every day he punished me for what I was, and I deserved it."

"No," I said a bit too harshly. He jumped, looking down at an even sharper degree. I softened my tone and my expression, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. That gesture alone made his eyes grow in shock. "Yes, your father was ignorant to what you are, to what we are, but that does not mean you deserved whatever beatings he saw fit to give you. You did nothing to provoke such behavior."

He nodded. I entered my rooms, letting him go ahead of me. Those curious eyes looked everywhere he could. I smiled a little.

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled again. My lady in waiting, Marian, was peeking in from the doorway.

"Marian," I whispered. She jumped, obviously embarrassed. "What are you looking at?"

"Uh, um, n-nothing, Madame," she blushed, her eyes shifting to the young warlock. I chuckled.

"Prepare a bath for our guest, dear. And bring something for him to wear and something to eat as well," I said.

"Yes, Madame," she curtsied and glanced at Magnus one more time before leaving. I sat in one of the chairs that decorated the room, sighing.

Magnus was looking at the tapestry hanging on the wall, that same inquisitive look on his face.

"I can teach you about all of this, you know," I said. His bright eyes turned to me.

"You can?" He breathed.

"Of course I can," I smiled. "If you're going to be staying with me, then I suppose you'll need to know certain things. I don't mind teaching you anything and everything you want to know, Magnus."

I still remember the first time he smiled at me. It lit up his whole face, just as it does today. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

He'd never bathed in warm water before. It had always been the icy river water near his house. It was also the first time he hadn't feared he would be drowned. The more I learned of how he had been treated, the more I wished _I_ had been the one to kill his father. The bastard…

But I won't get started on that.

The poor dear had never been offered so much food in his life either. He thanked me more times than I could count, for the clothes that weren't older than he was, for the food that was not only warm but he was the first person to eat it, and for the water that was actually clear. This child had been mistreated in every way that I could think of. If only I knew that it was far worse than that.

"So, there are other warlocks besides you and I?" He asked, taking another bite of bread. At least he was polite enough to know not to talk with his mouth full.

"Yes. I know of at least a hundred in Europe. But there's always the possibility of more," I assured. "I'll introduce you to some of them if they ever come through." He smiled.

"How do you become something like us?" Now there was a tricky question. Not because I didn't know the answer, oh no, but because I wasn't sure whether he truly wanted to hear it. I took my time, weighing each word in my mind before I spoke.

"A warlock is made when…when a demon and a human…when they mate. We are the product of this phenomenon," I said quietly, glancing up at him. I anticipated that look. That confused, horrified, scared look.

"So…so does that mean that my parents… or that one of them was a, a demon?" He trembled.

"Yes."

* * *

"I didn't find out until years later that the man I called Father wasn't my father," Magnus explained. "My mother was raped. She didn't tell Father, she was too afraid that he would leave her or claim adultery."

Alec nodded slowly, still trying to imagine the charismatic man next to him being shy and meek and naïve. It was a difficult task.

* * *

He was even quieter than usual for the remainder of the evening. He started to doze after awhile, listening to me talk. I wasn't about to make him stay awake all night. Besides, he didn't need to be overloaded with the information I was giving him.

"I think it's time you got some rest, darling," I said. He nodded, standing warily and looking around nervously. "Follow me."

I walked into one of the rooms adjoining mine, gesturing to the bed. He stared at me, shocked.

"There?" He asked, pointing at it.

"No, the floor," I chuckled. "Yes, dear, the bed… Unless there's something wrong with it, is there something wrong?"

"No, no of course not, Madame," he said quickly, shaking his head.

"Magnus, please stop calling me that," I smiled. "Adriana will do just fine."

"Yes, Ma-, I mean, Adriana," he said meekly.

"Go ahead, dear, sleep." He looked at the bed warily. "Alright, Magnus what's wrong?"

"I've never slept on one of those before." A sharp pain hit my heart and it was my turn to look shocked. He'd never been on a bed before. Not even a make-shift one that the serfs on the surrounding manors provided.

"Well…well consider this a new experience, then," I said. "Now, please, sleep."

* * *

To be perfectly honest, Alexander, it was the softest and most glorious thing I'd ever touched in my life. God, I…I can't really explain the feeling. It was purely relief. As soon as I laid down I…I was at peace. With everything, really. Just peace.

It was short-lived, though.

* * *

I think I'll take this part, if you don't mind. You don't? Oh good.

I awoke later that night. It took me a moment to understand what had done it. I heard the crying then, echoing through the large room, bouncing off the stone.

The whimpers and sobs were awful to hear. I wanted the noise to stop; it hurt too much to hear. I stood, taking my dressing down and closing it hurriedly, practically running to Magnus's room.

He was thrashing lightly, sobbing and begging for an end.

"No, no Father, please!" He screamed. "Please, don't hurt me! DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE!" I ran to him, putting a hand on his tearstained cheek.

"Magnus, Magnus wake up!"

His eyes flew open and he sat up, breath shaking, bright eyes glowing in the night.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, it's alright," I soothed, stroking his face.

"F-Father, he-, I…"

"Shh…" I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close.

"Wh-, what are you doing?"

And in that moment I realized that Magnus Bane had never been hugged.


	4. Bippity Boppity Boo

4

**Bippity Boppity Boo**

"You what?" Alec exclaimed, staring at the warlock. Magnus averted his eyes, staring down at his hands. "You had never..?" He shook his head slowly. Without thinking, without caring that Adriana was in the room, he wrapped his arms around him.

A small smile passed over the warlock's face as he shut his eyes, sighing contentedly against his chest. "Darling, there's always a first time for everything," he said softly.

"Trust me, I was just as surprised as you are," Adriana said. Alec slowly unraveled his arms, not wanting to let him go. "I couldn't believe that this boy had never been hugged, or held or kissed in his life." Alec looked at him sadly.

"Neither can I."

"Can we just get back to Adriana?"

* * *

"Wh-, what are you doing?"

The shock on my face was probably a spectacle in itself.

"I…I'm holding you, Magnus. To comfort you," I stammered. I pulled away, looking at him. "Have you never been held?"

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"Not even when, when you were ill, or hurt, or scared or-"

"My parents would have never done such a thing on any of those occasions." He said it all so matter-of-factly, like it was the absolute truth in everyone, it made my heart ache.

I hugged him again, out of reflex, really. "Oh, I'm sorry," I shook my head at my pending stupidity, loosening my grip, "do you want me to let you go?"

"No!" He hugged me back, tight and hard, his face in my chest. "Please…no. Please." Another wave of sadness fell over me and I hugged him tighter.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, Magnus. It's alright. Shh…" I kissed his temple, just trying to help.

"What w-was that?" He trembled. I winced. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take.

"A kiss," I said quietly. "To help comfort you." He resumed hugging me, crying softly for reasons I understood, but I don't think he did.

He cried until dawn, his eyes red and swollen. "Shh, hush, hush, darling, it's alright." It was the only comfort he had seen in his life. I held him tight and close, making sure that he would be okay.

The nights were steadily better after that. The nightmares lost some of their ferocity and he was able to sleep peacefully. But when they were too awful for him to take I would go into his room, just as I did the first night, and hold him. I'd stroke his hair and tell him it was alright until he fell asleep again.

Getting him used to other things was quite another task. He was definitely apt to learn all that he could, and learning to be civilized and a gentleman was something he took to very quickly.

He learned everything quickly. It didn't matter what it was, unless it bored him of course, but he absorbed it all.

I taught him how to read, first Latin, then English, then French, and the rest he did on his own. He read every book he could get his hands on. Art, people, food, literature, it all interested him, but not nearly as much as magic did.

I taught him for four years, just four, and he came into his powers. When a warlock comes into his powers they stop aging. That's why Magnus looked the way he does. That's why I look the way I do. Yes, yes, Magnus you beat me, shut up.

He was powerful, very powerful, but that didn't enlarge his ego. Well, by much, anyway.

A century went by. We stayed in France, living happily. And then that awkward, yet revealing incident came to pass.

* * *

Oh, Adriana, do we really have to tell him that?

* * *

He wanted to know about your life, so I'm telling him. Do you want to take this one?

* * *

God no!

* * *

Then hush.

We were coming home from a ball the two of us had gone to. I had to attend for bureaucratic reasons and I took Magnus as my date so I wouldn't have to deal with those awful aristocrats trying to get under my petticoats.

"Good lord," I sighed, collapsing on my bed. "I swear if I had to listen to Lord Ratliff for another moment I was going to slit my own wrists." Magnus smiled, sitting down next to me.

"I doubt you would do something like that," he said. "Though I will admit he is quite the pig."

"Magnus, why can't they be like you?" I asked, looking up at him. He chuckled.

"Then the world would be perfect, and that would make it much less interesting," he grinned. I sat up, laughing with him.

When we stopped we looked at each other, just looked. It was one of those moments when you know what's going to happen next. The inevitable kiss.

I leaned toward him, cupping his face in my hand. He hesitated before leaning closer. Our lips touched. He was gentle and timid, as to be expected for his first kiss.

* * *

I was terrified, Alexander. But it wasn't because I had never kissed anyone before, it was because of what I was feeling, or rather what I _wasn't_ feeling.

She pulled away from me, looking into my eyes. "You didn't enjoy that at all, did you?"

I shook my head, eyes wide. God, what was wrong with me? She smiled knowingly.

"You don't think about women that way at all, do you?" I swallowed hard and shook my head again. I was afraid of her next question, I was right in being so.

"You, you think about men that way, don't you?" I looked at my hands, scared, ashamed.

What if she turned me out? What if she bound me, or beat me, just as my parents had? What if she confined me to darkness, just as I had been before?

Instead, she smiled that knowing smile of hers, touching my face. "It's alright. It's okay."

"What's wrong with me?" I breathed, tears in my eyes.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Magnus. It's alright. You aren't the first person to experience something like this, alright?"

That was one of those nights that I held him. I knew he was lost, confused, and scared of his feelings, of his thoughts and it was just one more thing that made him feel like an outsider.

I thought I had the solution. I thought I could help him. And in thinking that I made the biggest mistake of my life.

* * *

"What did you do?" Alec asked quietly.

"She introduced me to Armand."


	5. Bewitched

-Not sure if i should rate this one M so I'll put an **SC** warning instead-

5

**Bewitched**

"I never intended for them to end up together," Adriana appealed. "I just thought he would be someone for Magnus to talk to, to answer questions he may have and help him deal with things. I never thought it would end up the way it did."

Alec looked warily at Magnus, squeezing his hand lightly. Magnus smiled at him lightly.

"Adriana's just being dramatic, darling," he assured. She frowned at him.

"No I'm not, Magnus. Don't lie to him. If he truly wants to know then tell him the truth," she snapped. He looked down, then at Alec again.

"Alright," he said quietly. "Then what she said was an understatement. Meeting Armand was the worst and most horrific thing that could've ever happened to me. And I regret every second I was with him. I wish I could go back and change everything."

Alec's brows rose in worry as he looked from Adriana to Magnus. He touched his cheek, looking deep into those cat-like eyes.

"Magnus, you can skip this part if you want," he offered. Magnus shook his head.

"No, you need to know," he said, nodding. "Hopefully this will explain some of my behavior during our relationship," he looked at the boy. "I want you to know why I tried to push you away."

"Okay," Alec nodded. He leaned his forehead against Magnus's. "If you want to stop," he whispered, "then stop. It's okay if you do, alright?" The High Warlock smiled.

"I love you so much," he chuckled. "Now let's hurry up and get this over with."

* * *

Magnus and I were standing outside, waiting.

"So… so he's like me?" He asked.

"For the hundredth time, Magnus, yes," I sighed, exasperated. He ran his hand through his hair again, straightening his jacket. "Magnus, dear, relax." He bit his lower lip, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry, I… I just…" He couldn't find the words.

"Oh, here he comes," I said, smiling. He swallowed hard and waited as the black horse got closer and closer.

"Adriana!" Armand exclaimed, dismounting in a smooth, fluid motion. "Always a pleasure, dear." He kissed my cheek.

"Hello, Armand," I grinned. "I want you to meet a good friend of mine." I gestured to Magnus, who looked hypnotized, his eyes never leaving Armand's face. "This is Magnus Bane. Magnus, Armand Incendia."

"A pleasure," Armand said, bowing, "to meet someone of such… beauty." Magnus blushed, swallowing again.

"The pleasure is mine, sir," Magnus said, reciprocating the action.

"Please, call me Armand," he winked. Magnus blushed again.

I should've stopped it then and there. I saw the way Magnus was looking at him, like he was the most miraculous, mot gorgeous thing he had ever laid eyes on. And I saw how Armand was looking at him. That glint in his eye that he got when he wanted something, and that smile…

I should've done something. But it was too late. I knew no matter what I said to either of them the inevitable would happen, it was only a matter of time.

* * *

I couldn't believe how beautiful he was, Alexander. Not nearly as much as you, but he was beautiful.

Just from looking at those thick, golden locks made me want to run my fingers through it. His marble-like features were breath taking. His jaw was strong, his eyes bright. And his lips…absolutely kissable.

That was how it began. The next two hundred years would be the worst of my existence. And it all started with that first look.

We just talked at first. He seemed so wonderful. He was smart, well mannered, well educated. It would've been perfect if our feelings for each other weren't so forbidden. I couldn't see the monster behind that statuesque face, or that smile. I was too entranced.

No, I wouldn't understand that for awhile.

I fell for him hard and fast. I was sure he felt the same way. No one looked at you like that if they didn't.

About six months after we had first met I was walking through the dark streets, just walking, thinking, the moonlight my only company. I tried to think about something other than him, anything else, but it was impossible. It was almost as if he had infected me.

I wanted to feel him. To touch his lips, stroke his hair, feel his soft skin under my fingers. I wanted it so badly I could swear it was real. I knew these thoughts were damnable, that I should be punished for each and every one of them by God. But it was so hard not to.

I was so lost in thought I ran right into someone, the very someone I had been thinking about.

"Magnus," he smiled. Just the sound of his deep, rich voice saying my name made my heart pound. "Nice running into you." I flushed a deep red, mortified, and looked at the floor.

"I apologize," I mumbled. "I…I didn't see you."

"Where's Adriana?" He asked.

"At home," I said, still not meeting his eyes. He lifted my chin, smiling at me. My heart thudded harder.

"Would you like to come with me, Magnus?" He asked softly. I nodded slowly, dazed.

Me, he wanted me? Ugly, bumbling me-

* * *

"Hey," Alec growled, glaring at him. "That's my boyfriend you're talking about." Adriana shoved Magnus's shoulder.

"Yes, how dare you speak of him that way," she teased. Magnus smiled lightly at him.

"I'm sorry, Alec," he said. "It was just how I felt at the time."

* * *

He took my hand and led me down the empty street, toward his apartments.

I couldn't breathe once we got inside. The door closed and he sauntered into the dining room in front of us, still so gorgeous it made it hard to breathe.

He spun around quickly, surprising me. I bumped into him, my hands on his chest. I blushed and immediately tried to back up. But he held me fast, his arms wrapping around me, eyes locked with mine and I couldn't look away.

Now I really couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe it was real when he started to lean toward me, his eyes closing, head tilting. I found myself mimicking him.

I couldn't believe the feeling I got when his lips touched mine. It was beyond anything I had ever felt before in my life. It was, well, magic.

* * *

"I understand," Alec smiled. "Trust me." Magnus cocked his head.

"Is that how you felt?" He asked.

"I thought my heart would burst when I kissed you," he admitted. Magnus smiled.

"Well, that was my lucky night. I got my first kiss and my first lay all in one night," he chuckled.

"It's not funny!" Adriana barked, making the cat in her arms jump down. Magnus's smile faded and Alec's worry returned, full force.

"I have to laugh about it, Adriana," the warlock mumbled. "If I don't…If I don't it might kill me." Alec's wide eyes were back on him, wondering what the hell he was in for.

"What did he do to you?" He breathed. Magnus was silent for a beat, looking down at his hands.

"You know, I think I'll go get lunch," Adriana said, standing and heading for the door. "I'll be back in a bit."

When the door closed Magnus looked up again. "My first time wasn't like yours, Alec," he said softly. "Not even close."

* * *

We were kissing, the intensity and depth heightening with each passing moment. My eyes flew open when he suddenly grabbed my waist and lifted me off of the ground, a firm grip on my thigh. He set me on the dining room table, hastily putting his hands inside of my jacket and throwing it off.

He took the collar from my neck, nearly tearing it away. My shirt went next. Everything was moving so fast I could hardly keep up with it all. His soft lips were on my neck, nails dragging down my back, sending sensations I had never known through my body and sounds I never knew I possessed passed my lips.

He put a hand on my chest, pushing me down so I was lying flat. He kissed and bit my chest, sending insane amounts of pleasure through my whole body. I couldn't breathe, nor catch up to what was happening.

"Armand…" I gasped. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't even know how this worked. I was so scared. What if I wasn't good at this? What if I had shortcomings and he laughed at me? What if I did something wrong?

My pants were torn away in an instant. His hands ran up my legs and to my arms, which he pinned above my head.

"Armand, w-wait," I breathed. He didn't stop. He was sucking my neck again, keeping my arms stationary. "Can we slow down for a minute, p-please?"

"You're fine," he growled, kissing the hollow behind my ear.

"B-but-"

"I said, you're fine."

He took off his shirt and leaned over me again. His skin against mine sent chills through me I waited for him to take off the rest of his clothes, but no such thing happened.

He pulled down his pants only as far as necessary before he started. He didn't even slow enough so I could adjust.

I hissed in pain and waited for it to subside enough that I felt pleasure. It hurt, but it also felt so good. I still couldn't think. So many emotions were plaguing my mind that my head was just a jumble of noise.

My muscles were tense, my arms ever still pinned above me, sweat covering my body in a thin sheen, moans and whimpers escaped my throat more and more frequently as he sped.

"Mmm… Magnus," he smiled.

I gasped and trembled as I felt something coming. I didn't know what it was at the time. That was one talk Adriana missed.

Whatever it was, I did it first.

"ARMAND!" I screamed, throwing my head back as something powerful wracked my body.

He wasn't far behind. Unlike me, he merely grunted. He pulled away from me and tugged his pants back up, perfectly composed once more.

I was gasping, laying there naked and shaking. Those emotions came crashing on me right then, overwhelming me. I felt tears well in my eyes.

Armand didn't notice. He didn't kiss me, or wrap his arms around me and tell me it was alright like I wished he would do. No… no he picked my clothes up off of the floor and tossed them to me.

"Tell Adriana I said hello," he smiled. He wanted me to leave. I blinked away my tears, not wanting to seem weak and started dressing again.

When I was clothed again I headed for the door, ashamed, embarrassed, and still shaking.

"I'll see you soon, won't I?" He asked. Those words made me feel a little better. I nodded, having to swallow the lump in my throat before I answered.

"Yes." He turned away. I felt my lip quivering again as my heart wilted again. I opened the door, and left. He didn't even look back.

I got back to Adriana's in the same shape.

"Where have you been?" She exclaimed, standing from her bed. "I was about ready to call the guard to search for you!"

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, keeping my eyes down so she wouldn't see the tears. I walked past her, heading for my room. I could cry without shame there. I could let go there.

She caught my shoulder, knowing immediately that something was wrong. I could see it in her eyes.

"Magnus," she said gently, "look at me." When obliged a few tears escaped to my face and my lips shook again. "Oh, Magnus, you didn't?" I sniffed, looking from the floor to her several times. She took my hand and led me over to her bed, sitting down with me. "Armand?" She asked. I nodded, trying so desperately not to cry and act so womanish.

"Hey, it's alright, darling," she hugged me. "You may weep, there is no shame in it." I hugged her back as tightly as I could, sobbing into her hair. "Shh…it's alright. It's alright, it's not your fault, Magnus. It happens for all of us this way."

She wanted to say that someone in Armand's position should be doing something like this. But it wasn't. She held me, just like she used to all those years ago, all night.

I wish that were the end of mine and Armand's relationship. How I wish I had never gone back, but I did.

* * *

Magnus's eyes were downcast once more. His hands were folded in his lap and he hadn't looked away from them.

Silence lapsed between them as Alec stared in wonder and horror. He was murderously angry that Armand had treated him in such a way. And he couldn't believe that that had happened to the man who had treated him so gently his first time. He just couldn't believe it.

"Magnus?" he said softly. His warlock looked up, eyes bleary, and –to Alec's agony- ashamed. He hugged him close, kissing his cheek softly and stroking his hair. A few tears seeped into Alec's shirt as he held him. "You deserve better than that," he whispered. "You deserve so much better. And the way you treated me…"

"I couldn't do that to you," he gulped. "I couldn't let you feel how I did. I couldn't let you be that scared. I couldn't let you have so little control over it all. I couldn't let those, those beautiful eyes of yours search my face for answers and I not give them. I couldn't do that to you. Alec, I…I have to keep going. If I stop I won't finish. I won't be able to." Alec slowly let him go and prepared himself for whatever was to come.

-Awn :'(-


	6. Under the Spell

6

**Under the Spell**

Despite that first incident everything was fine, for awhile. He was kind, but never gentle, not ever. I didn't really think anything of it.

We started living together after about thirty years or so, as medieval "roommates". Ha, no pun intended. Not funny? Alright, alright, Alexander, just trying to bring some light to things.

The first few decades were alright. He did all of the talking because every time I tried to I said something stupid. I tried to tell him about what happened to me when I was a child. How my parents treated me, what they did, but he wouldn't hear of it. I wanted to tell him because, well, that's what you do when you love someone you tell them things. Good things, bad things it doesn't matter, you tell them things.

I didn't really know that then, I just knew I wanted to tell him, and maybe he'd tell me something back. But he told me to shut my mouth, that I was being stupid. So I did. I believed him.

Don't look at me like that, Alexander. Is it really that big of a shock that I haven't been this… this obnoxious and conceited and sarcastic my entire life? It is? Oh…well alright then.

Now…now this is where it gets bad. I don't want to tell you this, Alec, but like I said before…people who love each other tell each other things.

The sex was just like the first time, every time. On a rare occasion he'd let me lay on his chest when it was over, but most of the time he'd just roll over and sleep. Sometimes I would cry silently until I myself fell asleep.

And then there were times that I didn't want to. I was tired, I had a headache…or the time I was sick. He made me anyway.

I didn't feel well at all. My fever was high, my joints ached, my head pounded and everything was so cold. I'd been in bed all day, waiting for him to come home and maybe take care of me, just a little. That's all I wanted.

But he came swaggering in, grinning at me. He fell next to me on the bed, his smile still in place.

"And how are you?" He asked. I coughed a little, looking back at him.

"I don't feel well," I said truthfully, wanting him to hold me, just for awhile. He did kiss my cheek, then my neck. Then he slid over me, tossing his waistcoat somewhere behind him.

"Armand," I croaked, throat aching. "Not tonight, I don't-"

"What better way to break a fever?" He chuckled. I shook my head.

"No, wait-"

It was easy for him to get my clothes off. I was too weak to fight back, not that I ever did.

"Armand, please…" I groaned, kissing him back as he kissed me. God, I was so stupid!

He took me, pinning me down as usual. I trembled when he was done, my heated skin covered in goosebumps, lips shaking. It still felt good, I still like that feeling. But…but he didn't have to do that to me. At least his skin was warm against me.

He frowned, gently touching my face. "You really are ill, aren't you?" I nodded slowly. "Oh, poor thing. Come here."

He held me. I couldn't believe he was. I buried my face in his chest, thanking god that for once that he wanted to touch me this way.

"I'm sorry," he said, kissing my temple. He cradled me to him, stroking my hair. "Shh…" He apologized a lot in those first few years.

He apologized the first time he beat me.

* * *

"He WHAT?" Alec snarled. Magnus touched his cheek, soothing him.

* * *

He beat me, Alec. He hit me quite often, in fact. But I…I stayed with him. I didn't know any better. The only other relationship I had seen was my mother and father's, and Father beat Mother as well. I thought it was normal.

He hit me when we argued, and that was how they ended. I was either struck or beaten into silence.

A few times he broke things and either stormed up to the study or out of the house for hours on end. IF he came back and it wasn't cleaned up...

That only happened once.

He had come down from the study after our fight, the broken vases still littered the floor. He jerked me from the chair I was in in the dining hall, screaming at me, his fist in my hair.

I tried to say I was sorry, I tried so hard. But he wouldn't listen. He was so infuriated.

As punishment, he locked me in a cupboard. A small, dark box. Like the one Father had put me in. The one I told Armand about. He did it on purpose, he knew it would scare me more than hitting me. He left me there all night to cry and tremble in fear.

He said he was sorry, as usual, the next morning. But I still had to clean up the vases. He talked me into it.

He still had me whenever he wanted, despite whether I pleaded for him not to or not.

I fought back once, just once. It only took once.

The bruises he left on me were black. He held me down and tied my arms above my head, making sure I was too scared to use my powers and fight back. He took me still, and it took him awhile to untie me later.

I always said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I was always stupid, and it was better when I just didn't speak. If I did say something wrong he'd hit me to let me know it was. If Adriana came over, or we had somewhere to go he simply covered the bruises magically, making them disappear.

He would say he was sorry. He'd kiss me, bring me flowers, swear he loved me and that it would never happen again. But it did. It did every time.

Why didn't I leave? I didn't know any better. I thought this was what it was supposed to be like. And I…I couldn't leave, Alexander. I loved him so much. This was the man that had taken my virginity for God's sake, I couldn't just leave.

God. I prayed to Him every night for two hundred years for Armand to stop hitting me. For him to tell me he loved me and mean it. But God ignored me, as he always ignored me. I suppose I was damned.

Even Adriana knew there was something wrong. She knew he hurt me but she could never prove it. She saw what was happening to me. I was becoming quieter, more reserved. I was jumpy and worried about every move I made. I tensed when she hugged me. It was like I was when I had just gotten away from my parents again. Abused.

I thought I was worthless, because he told me so. I thought I was stupid, because he told me so. I thought I couldn't do any better than him, because he told me so. I thought I was the luckiest son of a bitch alive, because he told me so.

It hardened me. It made me put walls around my heart, hide my emotions and lock them away. It made me angry.

I didn't leave him until I absolutely had to. When I found a way out.

He wanted to find the Book of the White and kill every human on the face of the Earth that opposed us. He wanted the world for himself. He and Adriana were on separate sides and I had to choose one.

I chose her. I chose my friend. I was more powerful than Armand knew. My powers were concentrated because I hadn't been using them.

She was more than happy to get me away from him. That night I told her everything, everything that he did or didn't do to me. All I had been through.

"Magnus," she breathed, tears in her eyes as she stared at me. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could've, we…"

"It's too late for that now," I mumbled. "It's done. I couldn't tell you Adriana I… I love him."

"He can't love you back, Magnus I tried to tell you-"

"Adriana, please!" I looked at her, my eyes begging her. "I don't need this, I just… I want…"

She hugged me tight. "Alright, it's alright. I'm here, Magnus, I'm here. Shh…"

She laid down and held me to her, stroking my hair and brushing away my tears, just as she had all of those centuries ago.

I could tell you that I'm still not scared, Alec. I could tell you that I don't think that one day I'm going to say the wrong thing and you're going to hit me. I could tell you that I'm not terrified that one day you'll hold me down just as he did no matter what I say.

I could tell you all of those things, Alexander…but I would be lying.

* * *

So much rage had built up inside him as he listened to Magnus tell this tale. He wanted to personally rip his throat out for what he had done. The image of Magnus crying and begging for him to stop wouldn't leave his mind. But he had to stay calm.

"Magnus, are you-"

"It was a long time ago, Alec," Magnus said firmly, but keeping his eyes down. "I'm fine."

"Magnus," Alec scooted closer to him, lifting his chin. "You can lie to a lot of people and make it believable," he said softly. "But you can't lie to me. I know you." He held his face between his hands, ducking to meet his eyes. "Are you alright?"

Slowly, Magnus shook his head. Alec hugged him tight, his heart wrenching. "Magnus, you're shaking," he said despairingly.

"I, I just, Alec-"

"Shh…it's alright. It's okay, shh…" Alec wiped the tears from under his eyes, kissing his forehead. Magnus moved to pull away but Alec held him tight. "Don't… don't baby. It's okay, stay here."

Magnus let go then, completely. He sobbed into Alec's neck.

"I will never, ever hurt you like that, Magnus," he whispered. "I promise. I love you…and I mean it."

-Awww. More soon!-


	7. Vanishing Act

7

**Vanishing Act**

Magnus wasn't sure why he was crying so hard. This was six hundred years ago! Why should it still bother him? But he let Alec hold him, let himself cry all of the tears he'd bottled up in those two hundred years. He was afraid, bearing his soul like this in front of Alec, that history would repeat itself.

But Alec was not and never would be Armand. No, no instead of telling him to shut up and pushing him away he held him, kissed him, let him cry and told him everything was alright.

"Shh…it's alright. Shh…hush, baby. It's alright."

Alec's chest ached. In his wildest dreams he _never_ thought he would ever see Magnus this way. Crying and shaking in his arms. He didn't even think Magnus could be vulnerable. He seemed like nothing could ever hurt him. But Armand had, and that pissed him off.

How could someone do that? How could anyone be so cruel to him, especially when he looked at them like that? With those bright, bleary eyes looking meek, and afraid and alone. How could anyone he so heartless that they didn't take him in their arms immediately in an attempt to make him feel better just as he had.

Then again, he'd seen Armand's cruelty firsthand. He knew _exactly_ how heartless he was. He could still faintly feel the sting of the whip on his back as he tried to run.

He shook his head. Don't think about that, think about Magnus. He kissed him softly, thumbing his cheek. "It's alright, baby."

He cradled him close, kissing his full lips over and over.

"Shh, hush, Magnus, shh…"

Magnus nuzzled his cheek against Alec's, relishing the feel of his fingers in his hair. "You're too good to me," he breathed.

"No," Alec smiled. "I'm not." They looked at each other for a beat before kissing again. Alec's wrists were crossed behind the warlock's neck, his fingers tangled in thick black tendrils. Magus had one hand on the back of his head, the other on the small of his back.

"God you're good at that," Magnus grinned. Alec blushed. They kissed again.

"Alright, alright, knock it off!" Adriana said, setting bags of food on the table. Magnus held up his finger, signaling for her to hang on for a moment.

"Magnus," she whined, grimacing. Alec blushed to a deep red but didn't stop kissing him. The broke apart, finally, leaving Magnus smirking and Alec beet red. "Self control is a good thing," she scolded.

"I never learned that," Magnus smiled.

"So," Adriana said, rolling her eyes. "Where were we?"

"Your 'death' actually."

* * *

Less than a century had passed. I was no longer meek and quiet as I had been. I was my cocky, conceited, snarky self. Adriana wasn't to happy about the attitude change, but she understood.

I had to act this way. After the way that I had been treated I didn't have choice. It was either be cool, indifferent and a smartass, or go absolutely mad. I didn't want to be womanish and cry constantly-

* * *

"Having feelings isn't womanish, Magnus," Alec said, popping a fry in his mouth.

* * *

It was the times, Alexander. There was no such thing as emo then, you couldn't mope and brood unless you were a poet. Yes, I thought that was funny too. God you're cute…

Sorry, anyway, almost a century had gone by and neither us nor Armand had found the book, which was both good and bad.

We followed leads that got us nowhere and found another that led to the same place. But as far as we knew, Armand was no closer than we were.

Our numbers had grown in our trips across Europe. We were a hundred strong and residing in a barren valley in Ireland.

We'd heard that Armand had been building an army on his side as well. Turns out there were other people that wanted to take over the humans as well.

And we found out he was coming this way. What possessed him to think that he could take on Adriana and I was beyond me.

But we had to plan for a war, one that humans wouldn't see. We had to stay in the valley to make sure there was no collateral, but we couldn't stop whatever damage Armand did along the way. Like the plague? Yeah, that was all them.

"So, what should we do?" I asked. Adriana sighed.

"Prepare for war," she said solemnly. She wanted to do this about as much as I did. She'd known Armand for centuries, longer than I'd been alive. She didn't want it to end this way. She didn't want to have to kill someone who used to be her best friend.

I didn't want to kill him either. But if it had to be done, it had to be done.

"This won't end well, will it?" I asked, but I knew the answer.

"Their numbers double ours," she said quietly.

"Yes," I nodded. "But he doesn't have you or me," I assured. "We make the numbers even. Before, we were the one with the advantage." I tried to smile, trued to give her some hope. But I could see it in her eyes that she had none.

"I have a bad feeling about this," she said. "Something terrible is going to happen."

I chewed my lip. That was never good. But her predictions were always right.

I wish I could've had those premonitions as well. Then I might've seen it coming.

They came into the valley at dawn the next morning, all or their hands ablaze with multicolored light. One hundred of us, almost three hundred of them. Then again, Armand never did fight fair.

Adriana and I stood in front of our pathetic army, facing Armand.

My heart wrenched when I saw him, clad in a deep blood-red that matched his eyes. Just looking at him hurt. But I kept the emotion from my face, stature and eyes. Because if I didn't he would see my weakness. I told myself over and over that I could do this. I could kill Armand if I needed to. I hoped.

"Armand, please," Adriana pleaded. "We don't have to do this, there doesn't have to be bloodshed over a stupid book!"

"Don't try it, Adriana," he barked. "I know that game, that manipulative way you can get _anyone_ to do whatever you want. Right, Magnus?"

I stiffened a little when he said my name. His eyes turned to me, that smirk in place. "And how are we, little one?"

"Don't start, Armand," I growled. "We aren't here to talk. If you won't be swayed then let's get this over with." He grinned at me.

"If you insist, darling."

A spell struck my chest, blind-sighting me. I fell to the ground, and the battle started.

When the two armies merged it was like a crash of thunder, much like when we fought in Idris. Adriana and I not only had to handle Armand, but the strongest warlocks he had behind him as well.

The air soon smelled of blood and smoke, turning the skies a blackish-red color. Light flew all over, explosions shook the ground, sending a horrendous rumbling through the field.

I was fighting another of Armand's soldiers when I saw a brilliant flash of red light and Adriana go flying.

I spun around, striking the other warlock without even looking. She was pushing herself off of the ground, face smudged with soot and blood.

"Adriana, are-" Her eyes grew and she dove at me, shoving me out of the way.

I fell on the ground, hard. There was another flash of light a split second later that she took head on. She fell to the ground, the burn smoking, her eyes wide and clouded.

She…she was gone. My best friend, gone.

The whole world went silent, the explosions, the screams the sounds of electricity no longer existed. Time slowed. I stared at her face, my heart twisting in knots that I didn't know were possible.

That's when I realized what Armand had done. He killed her, he killed her!

Everything sped back up, hatred welling in my stomach. I spun around on him, the grimace in my face deepening when he I saw he was laughing.

That son of a bitch had ruined my life and taken hers.

"_ARMAND_!" I roared, throwing my hands out. They were ablaze with a light so bright I could hardly see any others.

"What, Magnus?" He yelled over the crowd. "Did she abandon you like you did me?"

"_YOU SON OF A BITCH_!"

I was on him then, my hands wrapped around his throat. His knee came up between my legs and I gasped, rolling off of him and gagging.

* * *

"THAT MOTHER F-"

* * *

Yes, Alexander, I know. Calm yourself.

"Well, Magnus I'm surprised," he chuckled, standing over me. "I didn't think you had-"

I threw my hand out, striking his chest and sending him flying. I stood, still a little winded, but angrier than ever.

I struck him while he was down. One cheap shot for another. I grabbed his hair and hauled him up, throwing him like a rag doll, like he did to me.

"HOW DOES IT FEEL?" I screamed. "DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD WHEN YOU'RE NOT BEING A 'MAN' IS IT? _IS IT?_" I had so much rage built up I saw red, throwing everything I had at him, and when I didn't have enough strength to do that, I hit him.

Finally he was on the ground, bloody and bruised. "Aw, Armand, what's the matter?" I spat, my heel on his throat. "Can't handle, can you? Can't handle someone being stronger than you, can you?" I wanted to snap his neck. I wanted him dead. He killed my best friend!

But I couldn't do it. I was so close, so ready for that split second where his eyes would go wide before dimming, his throat giving a satisfying crunch as his heart stopped.

But as I said before, Alexander, I loved him. I couldn't do it…I wasn't a killer. I wasn't a Monster like him.

"Leave, Armand, and don't come back."

He did leave. Both of our armies had been reduced greatly, there was only half of the numbers remaining on either side.

And Adriana was gone. Everyone set to cleaning up and getting ready to move on. The idea was to get all of the bodies in one place and burn them. But I couldn't do that to Adriana.

And while everyone else was away from me, gathering straw and cadavers, I sat with her.

I lifted her torso into my arms, crying into her hair. She was everything I had ever known. Everything. She taught me how to live. I didn't know what to do, now.

But we buried her, and afterwards I caught the next boat to the New World, on my own. Maybe the book had made its way over to the Americas.

So I went. I left Adriana's estate to Marian, took what money I could, and disappeared.

I had nothing. No one in the world cared if I were alive or dead. No one would notice if I slipped off the face of the Earth. Do you remember when I told you that everyone I have ever loved has hurt me in some way, Alec? Well, now you know they have. My father tortured me, my mother neglected me, Armand abused me and Adriana left me. Or, well, so I thought.

And now that I think about it, I'm very pissed off! Adriana, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

-Uh oh-


	8. Right Before Your Eyes

8

**Right Before Your Eyes**

Magnus was sitting on the edge of the couch, fists clenched, eyes hard. Alec looked between the two of them, waiting. He knew Magnus better than to think he was angry. This wasn't what he looked like when he was angry. This is what he looked like when he was hurt.

"Where were you, Adriana?" He hissed. "If you were alive this whole time, why didn't you tell me?" She looked at him, smiling gently.

"I was around, Magnus, trust me. I checked in on you from time to time."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" He bellowed. "How did you survive? Why did you let me live five centuries thinking you were dead? Thinking that I was all alone in the world? Thinking that if I died at that moment that no one on the face of the Earth would give a damn?" Alec put his hands on the warlock's shoulders, trying to calm him. Magnus relaxed a little.

"How did you survive?" He asked quietly.

"There is a type of magic that most do not understand and do not know how to tap into. I'll teach it to you someday. But, the funny thing is, you performed it on me without even knowing it. That's how I survived, Magnus. You," she explained.

"What did I do?" He frowned, his voice quiet.

"You loved me, Magnus. And, as cheesy as this is going to sound, when you cried while holding me, those tears of yours proved that you loved me. That was magic in itself. But you must've said something, something that set it off. Did you?"

"I said _'Bonus licentia meus diligio'_," he said. He looked at Alec, who looked confused. "Goodbye, my love. Sister love, not, not like that." Alec nodded.

"That would do it," Adriana nodded. "Love is a powerful thing, Magnus. That's how you healed this one's pretty little face." Alec blushed a little, linking his fingers together. "Love is a magic that Armand could never tap into no matter how hard he tried. He doesn't know how to love, simple as that."

"So what happened, then?" Magnus snapped.

"Well, I think it was about two weeks after I died when I finally rebooted enough to wake up and get myself out of that accursed coffin and drag myself out of my own grave. I changed my appearance and put as much of a shield around myself as I could. The last thing I wanted was for people to know that I was still alive.

"So I got enough money to get across the ocean to where you were. I knew that was the next place you would go. I knew you would want to be as far away from me and Armand as you could get. So I followed you.

"I checked in on you when I could. But I couldn't tell you who I was, or that I was alive. I couldn't until Armand was dead. If word got out that I was alive, then that would put you in danger as well. And from what I heard you did to him he'd want as much revenge on you as he could get. But I was there, Magnus. I told you I always would be."

Alec looked at Magnus again, his heart sinking again when he saw the repressed tears there. Magnus had cried too much today.

"You weren't there when I needed you," he whispered. "You weren't there, time after time when an attempt was taken on my life. You weren't there when I was beaten senseless and left to die! You weren't there when I was methodically tearing myself apart from the inside out, living like some sort of shell with nothing, _nothing_ to keep me going!"

Alec's wide eyes shifted between the two warlocks, lingering on Magnus.

Adriana leaned forward, taking Magnus's hands in her own, her eyes pained. "Listen to me, Magnus," she said quietly. "I never, _ever_ intended for you to feel that way. I'm so sorry that those things happened to you while I could've been there to help. I'm so sorry. But you have to understand, I did it to keep you safe. I swore to myself that I would never let you get hurt because of me and I meant to keep that promise. I didn't want Armand to find you."

"He knew where I was," he breathed, taking his hands away. "He left me alive because he wanted me to watch the world burn when he found the book." Her eyes grew.

"I…I didn't know."

"If you would've told me you were alive you would have, wouldn't you?" He snapped. "Which brings me to my next question. How the hell did you lose your own book?"

"It started off as being stolen. Then it was just flat out lost. I have no idea how it ended up in Valentine's possession, then again he isn't an idiot, is he?" He didn't answer, just glared at her. "I didn't know where it was, honestly. And I knew if I didn't find it soon then someone with the wrong intentions would. Speaking of which, why do you want it, besides to keep it away from Armand?"

"To learn what's in it. To be able to perform every spell in it. To, in theory, become so powerful that anyone who dares to try and take it, or hurt me or someone I care for, it's utterly impossible. This has proven to be a useful on quite a few occasions," he took Alec's hand, squeezing it lightly. "And besides, if you can do more, people pay you more. This is true with a few professions."

Adriana smiled, chuckling. Magnus laughed too, hating that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stay mad at her. He couldn't hate her like he wanted to. He knew she was just trying to keep him safe. He just wished that from the time of her death, to the time he met Alec there was someone, anyone there to be there for him.

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Adriana said, her eyes genuine. "I truly am."

"I know," he mumbled. "After you died, well, it all went downhill from there. And it all started with Boston. And of course the revolution."


	9. Healing Powers

9

**Healing Powers**

Yes, the Revolutionary War. George Washington, General Lafayette, King George III, need I go on? I get there, and there's this huge stink about taxes on tea and paper and legal documents.

I had found a tavern to stay in until I could find a suitable home. I had plenty of money, you see. Adriana left her estate and her fortune to me. I left Marian the house and half of the money. She was such a sweet girl, after all. You should've seen the look on her face when I told her.

The streets were crowded, and you could feel the rage radiating from the people. They were all so angry, so tired of the oppression the British were forcing on them.

I was indifferent on the matter. I didn't really care whether they gained freedom or not. I just knew that the war to get it would be bloody and hundreds of lives would be lost. Mundanes have this never ending desire for blood. All they want is to hurt each other.

I was only there for a year when the Boston Tea Party occurred. Good lord, what a celebration. I didn't really understand it. They dumped some barrels into a harbor, big whoop. But hey, I'm not patriotic, I suppose.

Then that stupid battle at Lexington and Concord. That one gun shot that instigated it all started a war.

I didn't want to fight. I'd had enough of war over in Europe. I was done with bloodshed and fighting. But you couldn't tell these people that. If you said that you weren't for the war they assumed you were a Tori, for the British. I already had the fact that I came from Europe against me. How they could think I was British looking the way I do? I'm an eighth Asian for God's sake! Huh…well, anyway-

* * *

"Where does the Asian come from?" Alec asked curiously.

"Mother," he said. "Her grandparents came from Asia. They came to Europe for economic opportunities. Little did they know that they would be forced into serfdom."

"Oh," Alec nodded.

* * *

Right. So, if you said you didn't want to fight they called you a coward. If you said you weren't on anyone's side, then they claimed you were collaborating with the British.

So I didn't really have a choice. I had absolutely no idea how this war would end, but looking around at the pitiful farmers and drunkards around me, it looked to be a little one-sided.

The platoon I was with didn't fight much, but we did fight. It was mostly raids from the woods as the redcoats were traveling on the roads. I and my hopelessly reckless self ended up getting shot. Three times, actually. Twice in the shoulder, once in the leg. Of course, being the warlock I am, I could heal without those so-called medics. You get one musket ball in a limb and they decide to cut it off!

He lifted his shirt, pointing to a little round scar on his lower stomach next to his bellybutton. "That was one of them," he said, pointing to it.

Alec leaned forward, looking closer. "What are some of the other one's from?" He asked.

"Now, you're trying to cheat, Alexander," Magnus smirked. "That's for later in the story."

The summers were absolutely brutal. It was so horrible. And so unbelievably hot. Those uniforms were no better either. And flies, god, the flies. They were everywhere.

And then the winters. Good god, that was the worst of it. By then our uniforms had worn thin. Some had even walked through their boots. No shoes, bleeding feet, frostbite. Everyone came to me to start a fire. I seemed to be able to light one no matter what the weather was.

It seemed so pointless to me, all of us, trying desperately to beat the best army in the world. And we were a bunch of nobodies from towns no bigger than an elementary school nowadays. I only gained some hope when the Declaration of Independence was signed a few years later.

I did make a friend. John was his name. Nothing too special. In fact, I was surprised he was even there at all. He was in a tavern every night of the week. Smoked tobacco, paid for hookers, just all in all a bad guy.

It surprised everyone when he enlisted, myself included.

One freezing night while we were on watch, he started talking to me.

"Wanna drink, son?" He asked, handing me a flask. Son. I'd heard that so many times it wasn't even funny. "It'll warm you up."

"Yes, thank you," I said, taking it graciously. "Should you be drinking? If I may be so bold," I amended. He laughed, a rasping sound.

"Don't worry, boy, I'm not drunk. Can't shoot the Reds if I can't see straight, can I?" I laughed with him and hid my groan when he slapped me on the back.

"What made you join this pathetic excuse for an army?" I chortled. He laughed again.

"Something to occupy myself with, I suppose," he said. "Besides, if I'm lucky I'll get shot and die. That'll make me a war hero. Then I can die with some dignity."

His words took me off guard. I stared at him for a moment. He saw my expression and laughed again.

"Heh, well, after the Missus died, I had nothing left. I drink and do whatever I can not to think about her. It hurts too much to think about her." He took another swig from the flask. "You ever lost anyone, son?"

"Yes," I answered. "My sister." He shook his head.

"Ain't right for a boy so young to lose someone like that. Were you close?" I nodded. "Damn shame…"

"She's in a better place, I think." That was a lie, a blatant lie. But back then, that was what everyone thought. The older man nodded, offering the flask to me again.

"Well, I won't let you go before you can even begin your life," he grunted. "I'll watch out for you, son."

Months later, during the battle of Brandywine, he was shot and killed after shoving me out of the line of fire. The second time I had been saved by someone during a war, when I was the one that deserved to be killed.

* * *

_Smack!_

Magnus jumped back, lips parted in awe, eyes wide, hand on his cheek.

Alec was glaring at him, furious. "No more, Magnus Bane," he growled. "I can't take anymore of that. You talk down about yourself one more time and I'll hit you again."

Adriana had her hand over her mouth, stifling laughter. Even Chairman Meow had stopped to watch. Magnus sat there, speechless. The gesture had been small, and it didn't hurt, that wasn't his problem. He just never thought that Alec would stand up to him like that.

The Shadowhunter grabbed his shirt, yanking him toward him and planting a kiss on his ever-still surprised lips.

"Now knock it off and keep going." He ordered. Magnus shook his head, coming back to his senses and smirked.

"Ooh, Alexander," he grinned. "You should be forceful more often," he got close to his face, mouth next to his ear, and whispered, "I like it."

Alec blushed and turned away, looking shy and meek again.

"Now, I will oblige to your request and keep going. Adriana, go ahead and let it out."

Adriana laughed so loud the cat hissed and darted in the bedroom, as if annoyed.


	10. That Old Black Magic

10

**That Old Black Magic**

Well, after that it was Georgia or bust. I was tired of the city, tired of the noise, and tired of running into dead ends for that stupid book.

The south was as quiet and serene as I had heard it was. Most of the fighting had stayed north of Virginia and the land was left untarnished by war. The sun was warm, the towns quiet, the people friendly. Well, for the most part.

* * *

"What do you mean?" Alec asked.

* * *

Prejudice was born the day man was, Alexander. It has always existed and always will no matter what we do. And looking the way I did, a way that none of them had ever really seen before, well, it drew some unwanted attention in a couple of different ways.

The men in town really wanted nothing to do with me. It was mostly the older ones that found my appearance the most shocking. I didn't blame them.

The women, however, felt quite differently. They found me increasingly attractive and tried to seduce me several times. I refused, as you could've guessed, for obvious reasons. However, this just fueled the men's suspicions that there was something wrong with me.

The town I ended up in was quite small. There were only a few hundred people in all, if you counted the slaves, nearly all of them farmers.

Cotton was king back then, and it had to be picked or there was no money to be made. I met a farmer, a poor one, with three daughters and a wife at home. He had no one other than himself to bring in not only enough for his family to eat, but to sell to keep their land as well.

I offered to help. He offered me a room and food. It was a deal. I didn't have much else to do anyway.

I worked as hard and as much as I could, keeping my mind off of things that I didn't necessarily want to think about. I searched for the book when I could, going to surrounding towns and finding out if anyone had ever seen anything close to it.

I never went there to speak to the locals. No, it was the gypsy women, the voodoo priests and snake-oil salesman that I was interested in. Some were fakes, yes, but some were also genuine.

I met a voodoo woman by the name of Colette. She had no last name, but you could speak to anyone in that state and they knew exactly the person you were talking about. Not only did she tell me that she knew about the book and where it might be, but she also knew that I wanted to know how to do the type of magic she practiced.

She taught me everything she knew. From spells to rituals to potions, she kept no secrets from me. She sensed what I was.

I had never met anyone like her. She spoke with an accent that gave away her true heritage, but also where she had learned English from. There was merely a hint of French in her voice as she spoke her kind, soft words.

Her eyes were white. Stark white. By the look of her she should have been blind, but she saw better than most. A medical mystery and a miracle to her people. Her dark hair was nearly always wrapped in scarves, her arms covered in bracelets that jingled when she moved. She smiled often, yelled sparingly. She definitely made those few months interesting.

* * *

"Just a few months?" Adriana asked. "Did you learn everything in that amount of time?"

"I'm a fast learner, Adriana, you know that," he said simply. He grinned slyly at Alec. "I think you know that too, Alec," he winked, smile growing when the young Shadowhunter blushed.

"Why were you only there for a few months?" Alec asked, clearing his throat and changing the subject.

* * *

Ah, yes, good question, darling.

I was only there for a few months for one reason.

I was still staying with the Williamson's at the time, in the process of explaining to Mr. Williamson that I was in no shape to marry, though his eldest daughter was very beautiful. She was, I wouldn't lie to him, but, well…

Anyway, there had been more and more talk as time went on about what I did with my weekends, who I saw and what I was doing with them. The story that seemed to stick was that the man with odd colored eyes worshipped the devil. The sheriff stopped a few mobs from forming that planned to take me away and "string me up". But there was the incident that he couldn't have stopped if he tried.

Someone had robbed the general store. The windows were broken, the register empty, and anything worth more than a dollar was snatched from the shelves.

It was funny that they had completely restocked two days later.

That was all the excuse the townspeople needed. I was the primary suspect, even though Mr. Williamson had told them that there was no way that I could have done it, I was home all night.

It didn't matter. That night, they came for me.

It was like déjà vu. Only I was bigger this time, I could try and fight back.

* * *

"You used your powers?" Alec asked, surprised. Magnus shook his head.

"No. No I would _never_ do such a thing. It…it's just wrong," he said.

* * *

But I could struggle. All that did was wear me out so that I _couldn't _use my powers even if I wanted to.

I didn't know what they were going to do to me. Maybe they would hang me and I wouldn't have to live this terrible life anymore. This lonely, miserable life.

But no such thing happened. They bound my hands and hauled them above my head with another rope that was thrown over a branch.

We were out in the middle of nowhere. Not a soul in sight other than the men around me. No lights but the moon. The deputy stepped forward, a horrible look on his face. He came up behind me, ripping the back of my thin, worn shirt open. Now I understood.

"No," I said, squirming a little. "No, please, you have the wrong man, please!"

"Doesn't matter if we do," The man said, moving in front of me, his blackened teeth showing in his wicked smile. "You ain't right. We want you out of our town for good. Don't never show your face 'round here again."

"I won't, I won't," I said, shaking my head. "You don't have to do this, I'll leave immediately, I swear."

It didn't matter what I said. They would do what they wanted with me without mercy. I shut my eyes, and waited.

The first stroke wasn't that bad. It bit into my skin and I cried out. From then on out, it was agony.

_Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!_ It was worse when they overlapped each other digging in deeper, causing more blood to flow.

I screamed in sheer pain, waiting for an end.

I buried my face in my forearm, body covered in sweat from the night's heat and my body's stress.

My legs gave out eventually and I was simply supported by my wrists. The whip raged on. It struck me over and over and over and over and-

* * *

"Magnus." Alec put his hand on his cheek. Magnus looked at him, swallowing hard.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Alec kissed him, combing his hair out of his face.

"Keep going, baby."

* * *

As you wish, darling.

Finally I was so weak and so drained, my back mutilated beyond recognition, they stopped. Deputy Jones stepped forward again, grabbing my face. "I hope you learned your lesson, boy."

They left me there. Left me to tremble as the night got colder, bleeding, crying, praying for an end.

Dawn came, bringing the mosquitoes with it. I hid my face as best as I could from them. They ate me alive. Not literally of course but…

The day drug on, bringing harsh sunlight burning my exposed flesh. My lips and throat dried out, begging for water. My stomach growled, hungry. But I could not move. I wasn't strong enough to make a single effort to save my own life.

My long dark hair hung in my face as it bowed, body shaking with chills though I was sweating. The salt stung my back, making the agony that much worse.

Wolves smelled the blood. I could hear them, see them moving in the shadows. They must have been hungry to be up in the late afternoon. None attacked me, but I knew they wanted to.

By nightfall I was sure I was going to die. I was shaking so hard, crying from the horrible pain, and I don't cry from pain often, mind you.

I couldn't stop trembling no matter how hard I tried. I was still crying, still bleeding and still begging for death.

But death didn't come. A young man did. I had met him before, briefly. He was always vey quiet. He was always around the same type of men that had done this to me, but he had never said a word or agreed with anything they had ever said.

He took out a knife, approaching me fast.

"No, no, please!" I croaked, my throat tearing.

"Shh, it's alright, shh…" he said, taking the blade to the bloodied rope around my raw wrists. He wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me when the ropes gave way.

I screamed as he touched the horrible wounds on my back. He quickly covered my mouth.

"Shh, shh!" He hissed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You gotta be quiet, alright? If someone knows…"

My face rested against his shirt, hot tears still trickling down my cheeks.

"Shh...it's alright," he assured. "Just hang on and I'll get you out of here."

He did. He put me on his horse so that my cheek was against its neck. He walked the beast so it wouldn't hurt anymore than it already did and got me to a clearing where he had already made camp. I think he had planned this from the moment he knew what the others were doing.

I didn't expect someone like him to help me. I didn't expect him to share one of my secrets either.

-O.o more soon!-


	11. This Magic Moment

11

**This Magic Moment**

His name was Ethan, I would come to find out. Blonde, brown eyes, lean, about eighteen or so. The age I was supposed to be. God, he was so cute. He didn't smile much. That bothered me. He had one of those faces that would be absolutely amazing when he smiled.

He was also an excellent medic. He was in practice to become a doctor, actually. He told me all of this as he cleaned the welts on my back, feeding me mouthfuls of whiskey when it became too painful.

"Shh..." he soothed, brushing my damp hair out of my eyes. My fingers clenched the blankets underneath me, body shivering in the cool night air. "Almost done, almost done." He had a light southern twang to his voice that drove me crazy, even in the haze of agony I was in.

I'm sorry, Alec, I shouldn't be saying this, should I?

* * *

"You're kidding, right?" Alec giggled. "Of course I do. I said I wanted to know everything, past crushes included."

"Me too," Adriana said. Magnus smiled.

* * *

Well, if you insist.

He did what he could for me, trying to make it as painless as possible. They didn't really have Tylenol just lying around everywhere back then. Hell, morphine wasn't even around yet.

He gave me water and a little bit of bread, not wanting to throw my stomach into a tizzy and make sure I could hold something down with my fever.

He was kind, one of the kinder people I had met in my stays in America. He made sure I was warm, that nothing hurt too badly, that I was hydrated, and if I was alright.

I got better much faster than he expected. It only took about four days before the welts were scarred over and fading. I told him I had no idea why it was happening, and he believed me.

"I think you should stay a little longer," he said, "just in case your fever comes back." I agreed, thinking it was probably for the best that I did. That, and I rather enjoyed his company.

I woke in the middle of the night, screaming from a nightmare. My body was drenched in sweat, my face in tears. I felt arms wrap around me and I fought them.

"Magnus, Magnus, stop!" Ethan yelled, holding me tighter. I realized then it was his arms. I let out a breath, willing my tears away, gaining control of my breath again.

I looked up at him, right in those big brown eyes, at those lips.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly, his face close to mine.

"Yes," I said, calmer than he was.

I could see some sort of conflict happening behind his eyes. He looked torn, lost, like he wasn't sure what he should do. But he hadn't let me go.

I realized it then. Those nights when I thought I felt someone caressing my face wasn't part of some dream. The gentle way he touched me wasn't merely from kindness. The way he looked at me sometimes wasn't an interpretation on my part.

"Are _you_ alright?" I breathed. He didn't answer. He just looked at me. Time ceased, it seemed, its existence hanging on the decision Ethan was trying to make

He touched my cheek, his other hand still on my back. I moved then, cupping his face in my hands, resting on my knees. I was going to be in control this time. I couldn't bear to not be, not ever again. Not after that.

I waited for his eyes to close, waited for some sign to go ahead.

He leaned toward me, his eyes closing slowly, head titled up toward mine, offering his lips.

I obliged to his request, shutting my own eyes.

He turned away, pulling away from me. I let him. I said nothing, just watched, waited for what he would do next.

"I…I'm not…" He said so quietly I could barely hear him. I gingerly touched his hand, ready for him to pull away again. He didn't this time.

"It's alright if you are," I said, equally as quiet. He looked at me, and for the first time, his eyes were tormented. He'd been fighting with this his whole life, I could see it. It hurt me to. I knew what that was like, thinking there was something wrong with you every day, that you should die for being the way you are.

It's not true. Never will it be true.

"No it's not," he hissed, his anger directed inward. I touched his face again, turning him toward me.

"Ethan, there isn't anything wrong with you."

"Then why is it blasphemy?" He choked. I sighed.

"I don't know. But I do know that you can't help the way you are. Just as I can't help the way I am." His eyes met mine, scared. I let go of his hand after a moment, backing away.

He caught my arm and pulled me back, planting his lips on mine.

I pulled him close to me, holding him tight. I could still feel that he was fighting with himself, that he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

"Relax," I whispered. "It's alright." I don't think he truly believed me, but I did feel him relax, finally letting go. I tangled my fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss further. His hands were on my chest, calloused hands rough on my bare skin.

I tugged his shirt over his head, trying to take it slow so he didn't freak out. He didn't want it that way. His lips were almost vicious. But it wasn't malice, it was desire.

I reciprocated.

I threw him onto the blanket behind me, my hands touching every inch of skin I could see at a pace that was almost inhuman. He gasped and jerked under me, lips going to my neck, teeth digging into the skin. I moaned a little, in turn attacking his neck.

His nails drug down my back, making me shiver and just want him more.

His hands found my waistline, tugging at the pants that resided there. I understood what he wanted.

I took his off first, kissing his stomach as I went. Once they were out of the way I kissed it again, my teeth, lips and tongue trailing back up to his lips, taking their time as they went.

His fingers were vices in my hair, pulling tight, passion nearly spilling out of him. I kissed his ear, nibbling the lobe, my other hand on his thigh. His cries of pleasure were so loud he was almost screaming.

He grabbed my waistline again.

"Off," he demanded, his voice rough and strangled. I grinned. He helped me take them off and they were thrown somewhere unknown. I kissed him again, our tongues tangling almost violently.

I licked up his neck before getting to his lips, hands reveling the feel of his taught body under my fingers.

"Magnus," his voice was even more broken than before. "Please."

I-

And that's a good place t stop because we all know what happened after that.

* * *

Adriana and Alec were literally on the edge of their seats, hanging on every word he was saying.

"What? !" Alec exclaimed. "You can't leave it like that!"

"Well, Alexander, the rest isn't rocket science," he chortled. Adriana snapped out of her daze, frowning and sitting back, arms folded over her chest.

"I hate you."

- Aw, Magnus is no fun :( More soon!-


	12. Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust

12

**Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust**

Alec sat back into the couch, pouting. Magnus smiled and leaned over to him, nuzzling his nose under his chin and neck.

"Now, Alexander, you know you can't stay mad at me," he whispered. Alec giggled helplessly, hating himself for doing it. Magnus grinned kissing him behind his ear, humming in his throat.

"That's what I thought." Alec pulled away, his face serious.

"I can too!" He challenged. Magnus grinned wickedly. He pulled Alec to him, holding him as close as he could get him. He stared into his eyes for a moment before kissing his neck in that one spot just right so that he-

Alec keened, his fingers clenching Magnus's leather-clad back. Magnus smirked.

"That's what I thought," he breathed, pulling away but keeping his arms around him. Alec pursed his lips, blushing. Adriana chuckled.

"Oh, yes, Alec, you sure showed him," she chortled. Alec's expression turned hard. He looked at Magnus a beat before attacking his neck, his teeth pinching the soft skin just enough to-

Now it was Magnus's turn to moan. "Alexander!" He gasped. Alec pulled away smiling triumphantly.

Magnus glared down at him, his arms still firmly clasped around him. "Now, Alexander, we can play this little tit-for-tat game you've decided to start, I'm not against it, but don't you think we should ask Adriana to leave first?" Alec blushed again.

"Just go on with the story," he mumbled. Magnus rested his head next to Alec's, smiling contentedly and kissing his cheek.

"As you wish, my darling."

"So what happened after you two did that thing-you-wouldn't-tell-us-about-and-made-us-mad-at-you?" She asked, smirking.

* * *

Some things are better left unsaid, Adriana.

Ethan was gone when I woke up the next morning. The place where he had been in my arms was now empty, the blanket cold.

My first hit and run.

Adriana, quiet down, you're going to make my cat run away again.

I wasn't surprised that he was gone. In fact, I never saw him again after that. He was the first man I had slept with after Armand, a significant moment in my life, and I doubt he ever knew he was that important.

So I moved on. I used every magical means I knew how to make those atrocious scars that decorated my back to go away. You can't even tell they were there now.

I made my way to Louisiana. It was around the time Louis and Clark were making their way to the Pacific. The people of this state were still getting used to the idea of being Americans. The Constitution had been put in place after those ridiculous Articles of Confederation were destroyed. Letting the states run the country instead of a government, what the hell were they thinking?

But, I digress. I searched that entire state for that book. I knew Adriana had spent most of her life in France, so it would make sense if it somehow ended up in this French dominant state.

It was nowhere, however. Not a trace. I thought that maybe, just maybe _somewhere_ that I would get a lead on _something_. But Armand murdered the only lead I had.

I think you all heard that part the other day, yes? Where he beat me senseless and let me live only because he wanted me to watch an atrocity that I had caused.

I remembered picking myself up off the ground, coughing violently, blood on my face. That son of a bitch couldn't pass up an opportunity to hit me. He'd cracked a few of my ribs, leaving me to struggle to breathe. Walking in that heat was just agony. My head already ached, and that only made it worse.

I stumbled down the horse-trodden dirt road, my arm on my chest, trying to make it to a friend of mine's place.

Her name was Elizabeth Harkin, an immigrant from Ireland. She helped run a tavern with her father and brothers and was quite kind to me.

She was also a warlock. I doubt her family had any idea of what she was. But when she saw the state I was in she knew what I needed.

She helped me get upstairs to where her apartment was and shoved the bottle of potion in my hand, the same one I gave you, Alexander. She almost had to knock me out to get me to stop drinking.

"What on Earth happened to ya?" She asked, her accent as thick as her hair.

"Old suitor," I said, smiling. She laughed.

"Well that'll do it. Ya piss him off?" I nodded. "Oh, then tha'll definitely do it. Ya wanna drink?"

I needed at least ten.

I left Louisiana after that, deciding that there was nothing there for me and decided to head north. At least I could withdraw some money from one of my accounts, presenting myself as Magnus Bane II and presenting a will and other documentation that I had filled out myself to transfer my own money over to me.

Immortality is such a complicated creature.

I accomplished nothing in the north. I was right here in New York, to be precise. I did make some money as a merchant, however, doing small magic tricks for children to attract their parents' money purses to the jewelry I was selling.

Yes, I know how to make jewelry, Alec, didn't I tell you that? Oh, well, I can. You pick up a few things in eight hundred years.

I'd met a fair amount of interesting people in the merchant business. People who came from all over the world, mostly France, Germany and Ireland, and each one of them had their own story. The city was just as diverse as it is today, there was just less people then.

One little girl astounded me.

Her name was Mischa. Her parents came from Germany to open their restaurant out from under the Czar's influence.

The day I met her she couldn't have been more than five years old. Her black curls bounced when she walked. She didn't even walk, she flounced, a little princess surrounded by peasants. You would have thought that by the way she moved, the way she looked at people. Her round blue eyes saw beyond her years, despite her ruffled dress and dimpled cheeks.

She knew exactly where she was going that day. She walked straight to my booth, a determined look on her face. I peered over the edge of the counter at her, smirking in intrigue.

"Some children around my house have said you know magic," she said in German. I just looked at her for a moment, astounded at that demanding in her voice accompanied by something else. It wasn't skepticism as some other children had expressed, it was hard belief, hope that she wouldn't want to be shattered. In fact, she might hit me if I told her I didn't, that it wasn't real.

I smiled at this tiny adult.

"You don't understand me, do you?" She asked, sighing.

"I understand you perfectly," I smiled. She didn't react beyond a small nod.

"Good. Then tell me, is it true or are they lying? Can you do magic?" It wasn't a question. It was a command for the truth.

"Yes," I said. A small, triumphant smile crossed her lips.

"Show me," another order.

I chuckled and gestured for her to come to the side of the booth. I sat down in a chair so I was eye-level with her. She stared at me expectantly. I smiled again.

I snapped, making my finger spark blue fire. Her eyes grew, a grin spreading across her face.

"I told Mama they weren't lying," she said softly. She looked at me again, her smile gone. "Show me more and I'll buy one of your pretty necklaces."

I couldn't help but laugh. She was bribing me! A child, bribing me! She had nerve, cunning, and an attitude I absolutely adored.

"Tell me your name and I'll show you more," I countered. She smiled at the banter.

"My name is Mischa. Who are you?"

"I'm Magnus."

"That is a silly name," she remarked without much interest. "Now show me more."

I obliged. How could I not? The child intrigued me.

I showed her a few more things, little things. She bought a blue necklace and told me promptly that she would be back tomorrow with the same proposition.

"You shouldn't spend all of your money on jewelry," I told her. She frowned, putting her hands on her hips in such a way that she was far too young for.

"It is my money, I can spend it where I want. And I want to see more."

"I can show you without you paying me," I offered. She shook her head, curls flying, looking insulted.

"No. That would be silly. I'm not going to make you show me these things and not do something for you in return."

"Then how about this, you repay me by learning English?" I proposed.

"I can already speak it," she said, clear as a bell. I laughed. Of course she did! How could I have been so stupid to think that she didn't? "I will buy more jewelry. Do you make it yourself?" She asked, speaking German once more.

"Yes," I said, still amazed by this child.

"You need more red things," she stated.

"I do?"

"Yes. Red is very pretty. So is purple. You need more of those colors," she said, looking at me as if it were so obvious anyone could have guessed it.

"More red and purple," I said, nodding. She smiled, turned on her heel, and bounced off toward her home.

As you can tell, I was entranced by this little girl. I wanted to show her more to see what she would do with such knowledge, or the things she would say about the jewelry. She had sparked my interest in an age where absolutely everything bored me.

I went home that night and started making a necklace with polished red and purple stones that would be too small for any grown woman to wear.

-Aw, Magnus made a friend n.n Please review!-


	13. Abracadabra

12

**Abracadabra**

She was an absolute doll, and I'm not just saying that because she looked like one. Her inquisition of my abilities continued for the next ten years. A mere second in my lifetime, half of her childhood in hers.

Her entire face lit up when I showed her that necklace the next day. She tried not to, but her grin spread wide, bright eyes even brighter.

"Is this what you meant?" I asked. "More red and purple?" She nodded, shoving a coin in my hand and putting the necklace on.

"You made this small on purpose," she accused after she fastened it.

"Who says that I can't make jewelry for children?" I asked. She gave me a look of pure skepticism. "Alright, so I made it for you specifically. Would you like me to take it back and make it normal sized?" She shook her head, curls bouncing, her tiny fingers touching the stones.

"No, I will keep it as it is. Now, Silly Magnus, show me more or I will take my money back." I laughed. I knew she didn't understand why I found her so amusing.

"Alright, Mischa, come here," I said, smiling pleasantly.

I levitated a chair, a cat, a ball, twirling them around her head, plopping the cat right into her arms. She smiled, giggling in delight.

"That was wonderful!" She squealed, clapping, her usual stern demeanor gone. It returned quickly. "Can you make people float?"

"Of course I can," I smiled, standing slowly. Her eyes stayed level with mine. She gasped, looking down. Her little boots dangled in midair. She smiled at me as I lowered her back down.

"What about yourself?" I grinned, holding my hands out, my shoes leaving the cobblestones. She smiled, this time smugly, expectantly. "I thought you could."

I lowered myself back to the ground, glancing around to make sure I'd gone unnoticed. I sat down again, making myself eye level with her once more.

"Is that all for today?" I asked. She nodded.

"I will be going to school soon," she confided. "So I will be coming later in the day. And I might not be able to come some days." She looked sad, and that made me sad to see her so. I smiled warmly, lifting her chin. "Don't be sad," I said. "I'll be here whenever you need me, Mischa. I promise." She smiled.

"Alright, Silly Magnus," she said, that demanding and force present once more. "I will be back tomorrow. And you will show me some more."

I bowed a little. "With pride, my dear." She grinned at me and then ran off in a flurry of ruffles and curls.

* * *

"I didn't know you were so good with kids," Alec said.

"Huh," Magnus scoffed. "I'm not. Not unless I like the child. I'm not nice to some little, sticky imbecile. Mischa was an exception."

Alec spread out on the couch, laying his head in Magnus's lap, closing his eyes when Magnus started to play with his hair.

"So you're saying that you wouldn't want a baby, Magnus?" Adriana asked, smirking. Alec's eyes snapped back open.

"Well, I didn't say that," he chortled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Alec said, sitting up, laughing nervously. "I-I think we need to be together for more than three months before we start talking about, about kids."

"Aw, Alec," Magnus cooed, kissing his cheek, wrapping his arms around him. "You'd make a great mommy." Alec wiggled out of his grip, only to get snatched up again. "Now, darling, don't be like that. You would."

"You're calling me a girl," Alec grumbled, giving up on his fight to get away from the persistent warlock.

"No I'm not," Magnus said, smiling, tickling him under his chin. "I'm saying that you would be better with children that I would. You'd be more loving, more patient and quicker to tell me to stop using magic to shut them up." He turned his face, kissing him gently. "Besides, why would I call you a girl? I don't like girls. Girls are icky." Adriana smiled, chuckling.

Magnus was kissing Alec behind his ear, finger tracing his jaw.

"M-Magnus stop it," he hissed, eyes closed. Magnus grinned and shook his head.

"I don't want to."

"B-but, but, Adriana-" Magnus kissed his neck, his thin fingers trailing over the other side. Alec shivered.

"She's enjoying herself," he hummed, stifling his rebuttal with his lips. "Aren't you?"

"Ha, absolutely," she chortled, a finger on her chin. He cradled the boy's face in his hands, combing his hair out of his face, nose gently caressing his cheek. Alec shivered again, his face beet red, knuckles white as he gripped the fabric of the couch underneath him.

"Mag-"

"Shh," he pressed a finger to his lips. "Just for a moment, Alexander." His hands were on his back, fingers tracing unseen patters that only Alec knew were the Runes that were underneath his thin gray shirt.

Alec's heart was thundering when Magnus kissed him again, the gentleness of his lips literally taking his breath away. He would never get over the way it felt when Magnus kissed him. His eyes flew open, brows raising high when his tongue tangled with his own. They slowly shut again, body going lax in his arms, melting him. Magnus smiled.

Alec was so soft. So unbelievably soft, no matter where Magnus touched him. His porcelain skin was as smooth as its name, lips like satin, hair like silk. He sighed contentedly, knowing that this beautiful creature in his arms was his, and no one else's. Especially not Jace's.

Adriana looked at her nails after a minute, knowing that they were lost in each other now and it would be a little bit before they remembered she was there. She was staring at her nails because she understood how personal this moment was, how intimate. It would be one they would think back on years from now and smile. The last thing they needed was to know that she was sitting there with her mouth open.

Spontaneity is key, after all.

"Should I leave you two alone for awhile?" She asked ten minutes later.

They both seemed to snap out of a daze, lips parting.

Alec was blushing all over again while Magnus smiled contentedly.

"Alright, back to the story."

* * *

It was around this time that the Civil War was kicking off. But that wasn't what made this time period so memorable.

Mischa came to see me nearly every day and I showed her more and more, getting more elaborate as the weeks progressed.

Then she asked that million-dollar question.

"Can you teach me?"


	14. Poof and it's Gone

13

**Poof, and it's Gone**

"Can you teach me?" Teach her! I should've seen that coming. I should've known her motive from the beginning. She wasn't using me by any means, she simply saw a way. I was her gateway to magic, I proved to her that it existed and now she wanted me to channel what I knew to her. Or so she thought.

I am not an illusionist. I do not perform party tricks with smoke and mirrors. I perform true, honest to God, magic. The magic I do cannot be learned by mundanes. It isn't in them to do it. The feats of Criss Angel and David Copperfield are illusions, possibly deals with the devil, but they can be taught to others. In short, you have to have demon in you to do what I do.

So I not only had to tell her I couldn't, I also had to tell her why. I could not lie to this child; she would know if I did and challenge me until she got an answer. I would have to tell her what I was. A monster.

"Mischa, I-"

"I can pay you!" She offered, rattling the purse at her hip. "And I would be a good student. I-"

"Mischa, listen!" I exclaimed. She stopped. "It's not whether you can pay me. It isn't your attentiveness or your integrity. I cannot teach you because there is no way you can learn."

God how she looked at me. It was like I had canceled Christmas or something. I knew she didn't understand, and I would only answer what she asked me. Don't ask, don't tell. The system works.

"Why?" She asked, voice hard, demanding and hurt.

"Because…because humans are unable to learn," I said quietly, not meeting her eyes.

"What are you saying?" She snapped. "You're not human?" I swallowed hard. Would she run? Would she scream? Would she tell someone and I would be burned once again? I didn't know. But it would be far worse if I didn't say anything.

"Not completely, no." She just looked at me. She was ten now, exponentially more intelligent than she had been when I first met her. She could put two-and-two together.

"Are…are you of the Devil?" I stared at my hands, bracing myself. I nodded.

She covered her mouth.

"I've never hurt anyone!" I assured. "Not ever. Not on purpose…"

"'On purpose'? What do you mean?" She asked, her voice soft.

"I was young, scared. I didn't have the control over my powers that I do now. Some bad people tried to kill me. My powers acted on their own. I killed an entire village." My voice died to a whisper. "I didn't mean to do it. It just happened. I didn't mean to kill all of those people; my parents were in that crowd."

I hated the way she was looking at me because I didn't know what she was thinking.

"…So, so you really are a…a demon." It wasn't a question. "But you're good." I blanched. She nodded, assuring herself, looking up at me. "You're sorry for what happened. You're sorry you killed your parents, even thought they weren't trying to help you. I do not think you're a bad person."

I was shocked, truly shocked. This child had astounded me yet again. She was incredibly perceptive for someone so young.

"How old were you when that happened?"

"Thirteen." She frowned.

"How old are you now?"

"I am six-hundred and sixty-one years old." Her eyes grew. "I was in Europe until about a hundred years ago."

"That's how you know how to speak German." I nodded. "I want to know about ou."

I told her the story I have told you, leaving my relationship with Armand and other things regarding my sexuality. She hung on every word I spoke.

"Where you and Adriana in love?"

"Oh, yes, very much so," I smiled. I knew the kind of love she meant wasn't the same one I did, but I meant it.

* * *

"Aw, Magnus," Adriana cooed. "Stop it, you're making me blush. And Alec might get jealous."

"I'm not jealous," Alec said from Magnus's lap. "I have a couple things that you don't that makes me more likeable than you. I think I'm safe."

Magnus smiled, leaning down and nuzzling his nose against the younger boy's.

"You are absolutely perfect," he said, giggling with Alec.

"Don't be dumb," Alec said. "I'm not perfect at all, look at me." Magnus glared at him.

"Conversation for later."

* * *

"You haven't had a very good life," she said sadly once I had finished.

"Not really, no," I smiled. "But you learn to live with it."

"I won't tell anyone about you," she swore in such a strong voice that I couldn't help but believe her. "They would hurt you if I did."

"Yes," I nodded, relieved. She stood, tossing a coin onto the table and grabbing a bracelet.

"I want to know more about this book of yours tomorrow," she said.

"Yes, ma'am." She smiled and walked away, much slower than usual, lost in thought.

The war in the south had ended and the country was getting itself back in order, which meant it was time for me to check again.

I'd only been in the southern-most part of the country. Places like the Carolinas and Virginia were a mystery to me, so that was where I was headed. I was happy to get away from the bustling city, but leaving also meant that I would have to tell Mischa goodbye.

"I understand," she said, her voice a little shaky. "You need to find that book before Armand does." I smiled at her. For seven years she'd been coming to see me nearly every day. And now I wouldn't be here.

"Mischa," I bent down, my hands on her shoulders. "Do you remember what I told you all those years ago? That I would be there for you id you needed me?" She nodded, sniffing. I withdrew a necklace from my pocket. The stones were red and purple. I set it in her hand. "No matter what it is, no matter what time of day it is, hold this and say my name. I will be here in minutes, I promise." Tears welled in her eyes as she slipped it over her neck, nodding.

A beat later she wrapped her arms around my waist as tight as she could, sniffling, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'll miss you, Silly Magnus," she said. I smiled, smoothing her hair.

"I'll miss you too, Mischa."

* * *

"Did you ever see her again?" Alec asked.

"Not for a long time, no."

"If she needed you, how did you know if she did?" Adriana inquired. Magnus held up his wrist, showing her a bracelet that Alec had never seen him take off.

* * *

It glowed if she did as I instructed. I miss her sometimes, that's why I've never been able to through this old thing away.

I left for Virginia where, once again, another horrible attempt was taken on my life. But if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have met Mama.


	15. Angels on the Moon

**-WARNING!: Chap rated M for strong and OFFENSIVE language! Ye be warned...-**

15

**Angels on the Moon**

"Mama?" Adriana asked, snickering. "What's her real name?"

"I don't know," Magnus said truthfully. "No one does. No first name, no last name, just Mama."

"People tried to kill you again?" Alec asked softly. Magnus looked at him, smiling sadly.

"The one thing I didn't learn about magic for a very long time was glamour. I'd never met anyone that knew how to do it."

"Glamour's tricky shit," Adriana shrugged.

"Exactly. But yes, Alec, I was persecuted again," he said. Alec looked down at his hands, frowning.

"Does this story end happily?" He mumbled. Magnus smiled, lifting his chin and kissing him gently.

"You have no idea."

"Wh-"

* * *

Later, darling.

Bow, Virginia had been a slave state before the Civil War and they were still trying to figure out how to make money without the use of enslaved peoples.

Prejudices ran deep in those days, and if you weren't totally white you were mistreated.

So, naturally, looking the way I do, they weren't too fond of me. Only the owners of saloons or other lodgings gave me any sort of kindness, and that was simply because I had money. That only angered townspeople more.

Well, the men. The women seemed to be all over me. Good Lord, the saloon girls. I had so many room keys dropped in my lap it wasn't even funny.

Don't look at me like that, Alexander, I gave them all back.

"Voulez-vous venir en haut avec moi?" A girl asked. I looked up from my drink in the smoky saloon. She was one of the saloon girls. A wine colored corset lined with black lace squeezed her torso, a black, ruffled skirt around her waist, black boots on her heels. A black, velvet choker clutched at her neck, her hair falling in long blonde ringlets. She was gorgeous, but definitely not my type.

She sighed. "Parlez-vous français, Monsieur?"

"Oui, Mademoiselle," I nodded. She looked at me expectantly. "Aucun merci, Mademoiselle," I shook my head. "Vous êtes belle, mais je suis pris." She sighed, wilting a little. I felt bad; I knew she needed the money.

What? Oh, she asked me if I'd go upstairs with her and I told her she was pretty but I was already taken.

We struck up a conversation. She was surprised that I could speak French so fluently. I told her it was a shame that the language was dying out in this country.

I could feel eyes on me, burning into the back of my head. Murmurs rumbled around the dimly lit room, piano playing some random tune, a dull roar of conversation bubbling around us. Some looked at me in hostility, others in curiosity.

I heard murmurs at the table behind me and judging by the men that were sitting there, I knew they were talking about me.

I continued speaking to Yvette –which was her name by the way- but listened to them as well. "_Audite_," I whispered, making sure I could hear everything in its entirety.

"…no right talkin' to her. Damn chinks. When the hell did they head this way?" One spat, cracking his dirty knuckles. The eldest of the group grunted in disgust and agreement.

"I don't know. But we ain't gonna stand for it. My family's fought Red Coats, Injuns and Niggers. I guess addin' Chinks to the list ain't a big deal," he growled. I grimaced, disgusted by their language.

"Se que tort?" Yvette asked (what's wrong?).

I shook my head. "Rein, ma chere."

"…Good idea," the youngest stated. I cursed silently. I'd missed what they'd said. "Think it'll work?"

"If not, beat the little fucker to death."

"You don't think anyone'll object to it?"

"Hell no," the oldest snorted. "No one's gonna give a damn if that son of a bitch up and disappears."

I should've left that night. I should've caught the nearest train out of there immediately. But no. I was too cocky, too stupid, young. I know 600 isn't very young, Alec, don't be a smartass.

So I stayed. Nothing happened I slept with my revolver –there was something wrong with you if you didn't carry and know how to use one of those- under my pillow, anticipating.

* * *

"Wait a sec," Adriana said, grinning. "So, if you were in the "Old West" does that mean you dressed in that whole cowboy motif?" Alec's brows rose. Magnus rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically.

"Look, it was how people dressed, leave me alone," he pouted, folding his arms.

"So like, tight jeans, leather chaps, cowboy hat, that whole thing?" She asked, smiling knowingly and glancing at Alec, whose cheeks were flushed, staring at Magnus.

"Yes," Magnus sighed. Then he caught Alec's eye and saw his expression. His face broke into a wry grin. He leaned closer to him. "Something wrong, Alec?" The younger boy swallowed hard, shaking his head. He leaned even closer. "Does that turn you on?"

"Maybe," he mumbled, blushing even deeper. Magnus leaned ever still closer.

"I can show you what that looked like sometime."

"Promise?" Alec said flirtatiously. Magnus's grin grew.

"Oh you bet your sweet-"

"Alright!" Adriana interrupted. "Keep going. Sorry I asked." Magnus nuzzled Alec's nose, giggling.

"If I must."

* * *

I assumed they were all bark, no bite. Almost two weeks had passed and nothing, so I brushed it off.

Stupid, stupid me.

I was taking a walk at dusk. I wasn't going anywhere in particular, just walking, thinking, giving myself a headache trying to link how the book could've ended up here.

I heard it then, the clamoring of hooves. Horses. Then I heard the voices. Yelling, whooping, hollering. They were coming for me.

I turned. All of those I had seen at the saloon and half a dozen more were riding toward me, a few of them had lassos swinging.

I ran. I panicked. I should've stopped to think, but I couldn't make myself disappear as easily as I can now. So I bolted uselessly. I could dive into the woods I'd be alright. I'd be able to hide easier, get away easier. I could take the time to make myself disappear. Trying here would only make it worse for myself and for the people who'd offered me some kindness while I was there.

A rope caught me around my neck before I could try anything else. It sent me reeling backward to the dirt. I fell hard, coughing.

They laughed and jeered as they sultry night swirled above me, dizzying.

"Tie 'im up, boys." If I struggled too much the rope tightened, cutting off my air supply.

They bound my hands and hauled me up. I said nothing, my neck already bleeding.

"You don't belong here," the older man said. "We gave you a chance to leave, figured you'd get the message. But apparently you're too stupid to pay attention." He looked up at the other men around me. "Rough him up."

Fists flew, whips cracked, boots kicked. They beat me worse than I think I'd ever been beaten.

They dropped me to the ground, kicking my ribs, their spurs digging in violently, biting deep into my skin. On struck my cheek, sending me into a dizzying fog. The sun was starting to set.

They finally stopped. I was sweating, covered in blood and dirt. I coughed, looking up at the bastards above me, blood seeping from my lips.

The men cackled and grinned at their handiwork. I turned, looking at the man that was holding the rope that led to my noose. He tied it tight around the saddle, and I knew what was coming next. And I was right. The man grinned back at me before looking ahead again.

"Hya!"

The horse started to run. The rope tightened painfully, making me cough. Dirt kicked up as I was dragged. My beaten body slammed into any and every obstacle in the way. Holes worn in by wagons and other horses, rocks, branches, pieces of barbed wire, everything. I coughed, choked, cried out to the best of my ability. The friction between my bleeding wrists and the ground made the ropes around them give way.

I was able to hold the rope around my neck now, making sure that it didn't suffocate. Night was falling, being brought on faster by black clouds threatening a thunderstorm, and I was still being dragged indefinitely.

Through my state of foggy agony I found some hope. A storm meant thunder. I could hear it rolling through the hills already. Thunder meant lightning. Lightning meant I could draw energy from the air.

"This son of a bitch won't die!" I heard the man yell, but roaring thunder made him only audible to me.

The clouds were looming above us now. Lightning struck, thunder rolled, and I found the power to save my own life.

My hands sparked, the light invisible in the dust and lightning. The rope slowly deteriorated, burning away.

I rolled when it broke, coughing violently, spitting blood in the dirt. The sky opened up, and I had to hurry. If the dust settled and they saw me I'd be shot on sight. And in my state, that would've definitely killed me. I stood, shaking limbs finding some way to get me up. I staggered into the hayfield beside the road, running as fast as my weakened legs could carry me.

They gave out when the sky opened up. I fell in a heap, face toward the sky.

The cool rain fell on my heated skin in buckets. I could hear them yelling.

"Where the hell is he?"

"HELL IF I KNOW!"

It faded, the words slurring together, my vision growing foggy. My eyes rolled in the back of my head before fluttering closed, sending me in a world of darkness.

* * *

"Is there anything you haven't been persecuted for?" Adriana asked.

"Being a man," Magnus smiled. It faded when he looked across the couch at Alec.

He was staring at his hands, sniffing a little, his hair hiding his eyes, chewing his lower lip. Magnus had been around Alec long enough to know that this was his routine when he was trying not to cry. Magnus reached out to him, taking his hand.

He scooted closer to him, pulling his head to his chest, stroking the younger boy's hair.

"Shh…hush, hush, now. It's alright, baby." He rested his forehead on the top of his head, kissing him softly. "Let's pick this up tomorrow," he whispered. Alec nodded slowly.

Adriana stood, smiling sadly.

"I'll bring breakfast by in the morning," she said. Magnus nodded, smiling lightly at her. His full attention was back on Alec when she left.

"Alec, it's alright, darling. It's okay. _I'm_ okay," he said softly, smiling gently. Alec sniffed again, his dark blue eyes swimming.

"I…I know. It's stupid, I know it happened a long time ago. I know _all_ of this happened a long time ago, but…as stupid as it is, I wish I could've been there. "I wish _someone_ would've been there to help you. I hate hearing about you being beaten and tortured and hurt and there isn't a soul around that gave a damn," he whispered harshly. Magnus cradled his cheek.

"That was so long ago, Alexander, it doesn't-"

"I don't care!" Alec snapped. "I know you've been hurt more that that. I know that wasn't the last time either. But...God, Magnus I wish I could take it all back and change it. I wish I could go and…and help you, to make everything better."

Magnus sighed, smiling again. "Alec, that's the whole point of me telling you all of this."

"What do you mean?" He asked. Magnus shook his head, holding his face, leaning his forehead against his.

"No cheating. You have to hear the whole thing to understand my point." He kissed him softly. Alec shook his head.

"You're right. I…I'm just bein' a puss." Magnus frowned, face and hands in the same place.

"Hey," he said firmly. "Don't call my boyfriend ugly names," he held up his fist. "I'll beat you up." He grinned playfully. Alec smiled back reluctantly. He couldn't help it.

"Ah," Magnus said, nuzzling his nose. "There's that gorgeous smile." Alec blushed; Magnus's smile grew.

"Come here." He lied back on the couch, pulling Alec with him.

They kissed languidly, relishing the feel of each other. Alec's silken lips sent goosebumps up Magnus's arms. Alec sighed, feeling more at home in his warlock's arms than anywhere else in the world.

They broke apart several minutes later, resting their foreheads against each other's once more. "I love you," Alec breathed.

"I love you too," Magnus whispered. Alec rested his head on his chest, closing his eyes. Magnus snapped his fingers, making the comforter from his bed appear over both of them and a pillow tucked under his head. "_Dulcis somnium_," he breathed, mouth next to Alec's ear. "Sweet dreams, my angel."

-D'awww. More soon!-


	16. Over the Rainbow

-I am SOOOOOOOOO very sorry it's taken this long to get another chapter up, please forgive me. Another hellishly busy few weeks. I'll try and do better. So please, accept this as my apology!-

16

**Over the Rainbow**

Alright, Cher, if we could get back to business.

I wasn't conscious for this next bit, but Mama relayed it to me once I was well enough.

Now, Mama is a special kind of psychic. She knows things that normal people shouldn't, but she only knows them about places she's been or people she's met. No more, no less.

But she sensed me. She could feel the power I had the second I collapsed in her field.

She woke up with a small start, pushing herself up and out of bed, grabbing her cane to steady herself.

She hobbled through her large house, stepping out into the violent storm.

Not a drop touched her.

The dark skinned woman made her way through the crop with ease, finding me without much searching. She just knew.

She looked at me, astonished at the beating I had endured, and that I was still breathing. She stared thoughtfully for a moment, still getting over the initial shock.

"There's a boy in my hayfield," she mumbled. She turned and headed back to her house.

Hold your horses, Alexander, let me finish.

Mama had a girl that lived with her, a maid-servant of sorts named Esther. Esther was young, early twenties, African-American like Mama. She raised her more like a daughter than a maid.

Now, you're wondering how on Earth an African-American woman end up with a big house and a lot of land in the post-Civil War South? Well, she obtained her fortune from a wealthy businessman whom she helped find an oil well for. She'd gained her freedom the same way.

She had about twenty others that worked on her farm, obviously not slaves, she'd been paying some of them for nearly fifteen years.

But, I digress.

Mama went inside, into Esther's room, the storm outside dying to a light drizzle and quiet thunder. She shook her roughly.

"Esther! Esther, wake up!"

The girl groaned, opening her eyes.

"What, Mama?"

"Esther there's a boy in my hayfield." The girl stared at her, brow creased. She sighed and rolled over, shutting her eyes.

"Mama," she whined, "go back to sleep. You were dreamin' again. Stop readin' those romance books and you'll stop havin' 'em."

Mama frowned, bonking her on the head with her cane.

"Ow!"

"Girl I ain't dreamin'! Get up; there's a boy in my hayfield!"

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" She barked, yanking on her dressing gown and following Mama outside.

Mama smiled smugly when they reached me.

"I told ya," she said. "Now go get Joseph and Leonard. Tell them to bring this poor child inside. Gently, now! He's hasn't done nothin' to hurt anybody. He's just a sweet boy that got caught up in some trouble.

They brought me inside, setting me down on the couch.

I was a mess, according to Mama. And I quote: "Baby, you were shakin' like a leaf. Soaked the to bone. Fever in your face, beaten no end. Damn storm just made you worse. Imma find those heathens that tore you up and throttle 'em. Swear to God I will."

She did too, but that was after I left.

Now, as you can imagine, I was a little freaked out when I woke up.

I sat up, looking around the parlor that was illuminated by the dim glow of dawn. I was shaking, the air around me freezing to my boiling skin. I was clean, wounds dressed, clean clothes that smelled like soap on my body. I was lying on a couch, a thick, white blanket draped over me.

"Mama!" A voice startled me. I jumped, readying my barely prickling hands. I looked in the direction of the voice.

Esther smiled sweetly at me, a pile of towels in her arms, as she had just come from doing laundry. "Mama! The boy that was in your hayfield's up!"

"I know it, silly girl!" A voice barked from the kitchen. It was much gentler when it spoke to me. "Lay down, baby, there's nothin' to be scared of." I blanched and lied down out of shock.

Ester walked over to me, setting the towels down, save one cloth that she dipped into a bowl of cool water that she dabbed my face with.

"You aren't from around her, are ya?" She asked. I shook my head, still wary. "Where are you from?"

"New York," I rasped.

"Yankee, huh?" Esther chuckled. An older woman stepped into the room. She was plump, silver haired, eyes and skin a warm brown. She smiled at me.

"No need to lie, child," she said. "You can go ahead and tell us the truth." My eyes grew again through the fog they were in.

"S-Southern France," I breathed.

"Really?" Esther asked. "I woulda guessed somewhere in Asia."

"Most do."

"Alright, alright," Mama said, nudging Esther out of the seat. "Stop your canoodling, Esther, he ain't interested."

The girl scowled and stood, flushed, leaving the room in a huff.

"I'm too old for her anyway," I croaked. She smiled.

"I'm Mama," she said, taking Esther's place and dabbing my fevered cheeks.

"M-Magnus Bane." She nodded.

"Alright, Magnus, we'll talk more later. You need your rest, ya hear?"

I nodded and closed my eyes, letting sleep take me quickly, knowing I was safe.

The few weeks I stayed with Mama were well worth it. I learned a lot, more than I'd ever had in such a short sitting. Glamour was one of them. It was difficult at first, but slowly, I got better at it. Now I get people like Clary thinking I'm a cat.

It seemed Mama knew everything, except where the damn book was.

"I've been from Tulsa to Atlanta, sweetheart and that book is nowhere in sight," she said regretfully. "I'm sorry, honey, but the Book of the White's nowhere in the south." I sighed, shutting my eyes. Years, decades of effort, and all for a wild goose chase.

"I had another boy come pokin' around here for it, now that I remember. Name was…Armand?"

I sat up, fury sparking inside me so fast a kerosene lamp exploded a few feet away. She laughed.

"I take it you know him?" She asked.

"You could say that," I growled. She pursed her lips, shaking her head.

"There was so much darkness in his heart. Even if I did know where the damn thing was I wouldn'ta told him." She looked at me. "Not like you, sugar. You're nothin' like him, so don't ever think you are, hear me?" I nodded.

I stood, hoisting my bag over my shoulder. "Thank you, for everything," I said. She smiled and nodded. "I'm here whenever ya need me, baby."

"Bye Magnus," the ever-persistent Esther grinned. I smiled knowingly and shook my head.

"Goodbye, Esther."

I miss Mama. It's been awhile since I've been to see her. What? Of course she's still alive! Why? Well, because she's Mama.


	17. City Magic

17

**City Magic**

Alec stared at his hands, doing his best not to picture Magnus lying in that field, body beaten and shaking, all alone. He shook his head, snapping himself out of it Magnus linked his fingers with his, smiling lightly.

"Did you ever have any run-ins with the Clave?" Adriana asked curiously.

"Oh hell yes," Magnus chuckled. "I saw Nephilim quite often. They saw me, I saw them, they followed me around to make sure I wasn't harming the local mundies and went on their merry angelic ways."

"_They_ didn't hurt you, did they?" Alec sighed.

"No," Magnus chuckled. "I'm sure a few wanted to get their hands on my sweet, magnificent ass but the Accords were already in place and it would've been a paperwork nightmare on both ends."

"Thank God," the two listeners sighed. Magnus smiled, kissing Alec gently.

"You're adorable." Alec blushed. Magnus kissed him again. "Now, where was I?"

* * *

Ah, yes, well, the next few decades were irrelevant. The mundane's little world get innovation after innovation, hurtling the country forward with the rest of the planet.

In 1917, the United States joined World War I. Now, you're thinking I was in this way because nearly every American male in 1917 enlisted or was drafted into that ridiculously pointless string of battles that was called a World War all because Germany wanted to build an empire while no ground was gained on any side and it was just the exposition to World War II and-

Sorry. Make love, not war and all that. Stupid sixties.

Anyway, I didn't fight World War I. Skipped out on the draft? Adriana, I have more honor than that. I was in Canada at the time, trying fruitlessly to find that damned book. I'd heard Armand was up there, searching just as diligently as I was, and I was following him. Until the trail ran cold, I understood there was nothing in that vast wilderness and returned home.

I didn't really know what was going on until I got back. I left in 1915, I knew the war was happening, hell, we all did, but I never thought America would go for it. So I left. Boy was my face red when I got back.

Don't laugh, Alexander, I'm serious!

So, in short, no war for me. My life didn't get interesting again until I moved to Chicago in 1920. It was probably the best place to be in in that era. But that year, something remarkable happened, something I never thought would happen in a million years.

I was standing at a crosswalk, fedora tilted over my face, hiding my eyes, waiting patiently, when a very strong, very old voice said: "You need more red things" in perfect German.

I spun around, staring at the little old lady who'd spoken to me.

If it weren't for her eyes I wouldn't have recognized her. But those big brown eyes and the red necklace around her neck gave it all away.

"Mischa?" I gasped. She smiled.

"Hello, Silly Magnus." The child I had once known was gone, long gone. She had to be at least seventy now. I talked to her for hours right there on that corner. About her life, about where she'd been and an abridged version of my life and where I'd been since we departed all those years ago. A blink for me, a lifetime for her. She had a husband that had passed the winter before, three kids and ten grandchildren. I smiled, so glad she'd been happy.

"You didn't tell me you lived forever," she said firmly. "I mean, I noticed when I was young that you always looked the same, not like Mama or Papa or anyone else, but I didn't know it was _forever_."

"I didn't want to scare you," I said truthfully. I didn't. Immortality is something heard of in stories and works of fiction, having it real and staring you in the face was something else. I think that's why she was looking at me in such wonder, wonder that had stayed with her all this time.

She rolled her eyes, chuckling. "And you wonder why I call you silly."

It was the last time I ever spoke to her. She died the following week, an hour before we were supposed to talk again.

I stayed in the back at her funeral, not wanting any relatives to question why I was there. I watched them bury the most brilliant mundane I've ever met.

I've had to put this bracelet on different string more times than I can count. I've even had to redo most of the stones, but I put the same spell on it, every time. I'm not sure why I do; I understand that she's gone. But…but I told her, I promised her that no matter what, no matter where she was I would always be there for her. I guess I wanted her to know that the offer still stands.

Alec, why are you looking at me like-? Oomph!

* * *

Alec had effectively attacked Magnus's lips, pinning him on the couch. Magnus gasped and shut his eyes, letting Alec take him.

Alec was kissing him deeply, fingers tangled in his hair, tongue tangled with his.

He left Magnus gasping violently for air, hands shaking a little from surprise and adrenaline. "My God," he breathed. "You really are inhuman. That…that wasn't…it was…oy…"

He took deep breaths, steadying himself. He looked at Alec, cheeks still flushed. "Wh-what was that for?" He stammered. Alec looked shy and embarrassed all of the sudden. Adriana was covering her mouth, stifling laughter.

"That was really sweet," Alec mumbled. "I don't hear you talk like that much."

"Darling," Magnus shook his head, "you have to warn me before you do something like that. You know damn good and well I'm not responsible for myself once turned on." Alec absently touched his neck.

"_What happened to your neck?" _

"_I fell."_

"_On your _neck_?"_

"Yeah, I remember," he muttered, blushing a little. Magnus took another deep breath.

"Alright, Adriana, enough."

"Sorry!" She gasped. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Keep going."

* * *

Right, well, Chicago in the twenties was, as you can expect, quite glamorous. The crime rate sky-rocketed, flapper-girls were born, I started smoking-

* * *

"You've been smoking for _eighty years_?" Alec exclaimed.

* * *

Of course not! I've been smoking off and on for eighty years, darling. If I want a cigarette, I smoke a cigarette. That's all.

Cigarettes, liquor, gangsters, murders, parties, opulence and all that jazz.


	18. Monsters Under the Bed

18

**Monsters Under the Bed**

Back then, there was only three ways to make money: have an act, work for the mob –of which there were plenty to choose from in those days- or be a lawyer, what with the climbing crime rate and all.

I'll give you three guesses as to which I was part of.

* * *

"Drag?" Adriana grinned.

"Ha, ha, ha. You're hilarious," Magnus scoffed. "But I've only dressed like that once, and it was on a dare." He winked at Alec, who flushed to the deepest magenta ever thought possible to appear on a human face.

* * *

Sorry, darling, couldn't resist. You are not mad at me; you love me.

Anyway, I was living in a flat on LaSalle Boulevard –brand new, mind you- with my dear, dear friend Kristopher.

Of course he was that kind of friend, Adriana. Don't look at me like that! I'd been celibate for nearly a century! I did quite well, I feel.

Thank you, Alexander. At least _someone_ gets it. Good god, I tore that boy up the first chance I got, I swear, I-

Ahem. Sorry.

Anyway, I was home alone when I got a special visit from some fine gentleman by the names of Sam "Mad Sam" DeStefano and Gary "Gags" Gagliano soldiers to the Chicago Mob. Yes, that's right, I met Mad Sam. Still makes me shudder that I was within range of that psychopath.

They had heard around town –a.k.a. they beat some folks up and paid a couple off to get information- that I had a way to get things done by means they didn't fully understand. And in these days when Prohibition was the best way for mob bosses to make money, it was only fair to provide it to the thirsty public.

"Can I help you gentleman?" I asked, smiling pleasantly. They stared around the room, sizing me up with each step. I pushed my hair back, slicking it with the rest of my head.

"Yeah," Gags said, smirking and puffing his cigarette. "Our, eh, employa wants ta talk to ya."

"What about?"

"Where you from?" Sam asked sharply. I stared at him, my expression serene and unreadable.

"New York," I said plainly.

"How old are ya?" Gags asked.

"Old enough to know you aren't lawyers," I chuckled, lighting a cigarette. "So, your employer. Will there be a need for me to be blindfolded before I go? If so, I'd like to finish this." I tapped the ashes into the tray beside me.

Gags turned to Sam.

"You sure the boss said this kid?" He asked. Sam nodded.

"He don't make mistakes." Gags nodded.

"Alright, kid, come with us."

I obliged and ended up in a suite downtown, standing in front of the one and only Al Capone.

* * *

"No way," Adriana said, shaking her head. "I call bullshit."

"Only notorious man I managed to meet in person. Though I did see Jimi Hendrix when he was three," He chortled. "But it's the God's honest truth."

"Who?" Alec asked, looking confused. Magnus smiled.

"Al Capone, probably the most dangerous, well-connected man in the bootlegging business at the time," he explained. "He killed a lot of people and had a lot of people killed." Alec's eyes grew.

"Please, tell me they didn't-"

* * *

No skipping ahead, my love.

Naturally, I was terrified of this man, and for good reason. He could kill me in a second and no one would ever know. My body probably wouldn't be found either. They didn't call it sleeping with the fishes for nothing.

"I need your services, Mr. Bane," he said, cigar billowing smoke around the room. I didn't dare ask how he knew my name. "I understand you get things done for a price, am I correct?"

"Yes sir," I nodded. He smiled, shutting his eyes for a moment.

"Good, very good. Well, I am offering to triple your price for my favor. I need you to do some rum-running for me," he said. He nodded to a stiff looking man behind him, who came forward with a briefcase. It was filled with money, most likely from a recent bank heist he had "nothing to do with".

"So whaddaya say, kid?" He grinned. "Little errands, or somethin' much more exciting." I smiled.

"I didn't think this town could get anymore exciting, to tell you the truth." He laughed.

"You ain't seen anything yet, Mr. Bane," he handed me a piece of paper. "Get that done by tomorrow and I'll show you what this town's really about."

You remember when Al Pacino said "Every time I get out, they pull me back in"? Well that's because it's nearly impossible to get out of the mob, my darling. Getting out with your heart still beating or your mouth still working is damn near impossible.

At the time I never thought I would want out. Who wants to throw away money? Who wants to stop doing a job that pays so well and is so incredibly easy to do?

The kind of person who can't watch people be tortured and murdered anymore. The kind of person who is already a monster and doesn't need something else on his résumé to prove it.

Now, who wants lunch?

-Gasp! Magnus the gangster. I think I like it, what about you? :)-


	19. Razzle Dazzle 'Em

19

**Razzle Dazzle 'Em**

I was a shine-runner, a bootlegger, enemy number one of Prohibition. It paid very well, as Mr. Capone promised. It was also the easiest job on the face of the earth.

Snap one, the alcohol in was in front of me. Snap two, alcohol was where it was supposed to be.

The connections you gained were unreal. The influence, the opulence, it was ridiculous. I could get and do whatever –or whoever, for that matter- I wanted. The drinking, the lights, a dazzling curtain that would soon be torn away.

"You're on top of the world," Kristopher said, looking up at me, his head on my chest. I smiled, toying with his dark curls.

"It would seem so," I chuckled. I looked at his hands, calloused, a few of his fingers showing blisters. "You won't have to work at that damned factory soon. We'll have enough money and you can stay home."

"I kind of like it," he shrugged. I smiled, stroking his cheek.

"That's because all you did in Ireland was farm. I'd assume factory work would seem glamorous." He smiled shyly.

"I'm simple." I kissed his temple.

"That's what I like about you," I grinned. Kristopher was adorable. Big green eyes, a mop of dark curls on his head, skin tanned from the years of farm work he'd done, his decent sized muscles perfectly toned on his gorgeous body. He looked as if he were a force to be reckoned with. But he was a gentle, sweet lamb. I looked down at him, kissing the bridge of his freckled nose.

"Be careful," he said softly, his thick accent muddling his words. "Bad things follow people who get involved with The Outfit."

"I'll be alright," I said. "I can take care of myself, my little gypsy."

"I know, my wizard, but even the best magician's run out of tricks."

Speaking of tricks…

I was at a bar, drinking illegally, smoking and chatting with my fellow "co-workers". Almost every guy there had some young thing hanging off of them, laughing at what they said even if they didn't think it was funny. I refrained from such company, as you can imagine why.

"You still livin' with that harp?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah. The damn rent's so high in this city. Hope that gyp who owns the place gets what's comin' to him."

"Hey, Magician," Maggs said, grinning at me from the doorway with a beautiful red head done up in a black flapper dress, hair pin-curled under a black sequined hat. "Jeanine here wants to know how you got your nickname," he winked.

"That's alright," I chuckled, holding up my hands.

"What, you waitin' til you're married?" Johnny chortled.

"No, I'm beat. Had three runs that took all night and another one this morning."

"Liar, the job don't take nothin' outta you," Maggs said. "C'mon, you really gonna let this pretty dame go to waste?"

I ended up being shoved in a room with this pretty thing, my back toward a large couch.

"Look, doll," I smiled knowingly. You're pretty and all; don't get me wrong, but you're not my type."

"Oh, sugar, I can be whatever you want me to be," she grinned, slinking toward me.

"Oh, no you can't. Trust me," I assured. She flung her arms around my neck, forcing her lips on mine. I grabbed her shoulders, forcing her back. "I said, _no_."

"Aw, c'mon honey, what's the matter?" She dove for me again, her mouth latching onto my neck. I shoved her back again, hard. She fell into the wall, ramming her shoulder. "I said _lay off_!"

"What the hell?"

"Keep away from me, bitch. I don't care how much they're paying you don't you touch me again."

"What are you, some kind of queer?" She shrieked, holding her shoulder.

"No, I have this little thing class. And I don't need to get that the likes of you. Now _get out_!"

She left, seething. I shuddered when she left, wiping my neck and mouth, dabbing off her smeared lipstick.

"Hey, Magician," Maggs said, holding up his hands as if grasping for an explanation. "What the hell happened?"

"I told you and I told her, I'm Jake, alright? I don't need any nookie, and I can get some if I want it."

"Well that's no reason to give 'er the mit," he said, pursing his lips.

"She was a quiff," I shrugged. He smiled, laughing.

"Yeah, but she was one ripe piece of ass."

"Right," I grinned. "Well, I gotta see a man about a dog."

I went home, nearly sick to my stomach. Not because a woman had kissed me, but at what she thought we were going to do.

Kristopher was sitting on the couch, his eyes closed, feet resting in a tub of hot water, looking absolutely exhausted.

"Are you alright?" I asked, coming up behind him and rubbing his tense shoulders.

"I been workin' for nearly two days straight," he said wearily. I frowned, brushing his hair out of his face and kissing him softly.

His hands had been worn down nearly to the bone. His fingers were worn down so much a few were bleeding.

"No more," I said, shaking my head. "No more of that factory. You're staying here, or finding something less dangerous to do. That place will kill you if you don't."

"Okay," he breathed, his eyes bloodshot and tired.

I continued rubbing his shoulders, kissing his neck and his ear. He shut his eyes, leaning into my hand when my fingers combed through his hair.

If I would have known his fate then, I would have left at that moment. I kissed his neck and his cheek, my hands still working out the kinks in his back. He turned his lips toward me, letting me kiss him languidly.

"My weary worker. Everything's going to be alright now," I assured. He smiled lightly.

"I know. I trust you."

God, I wish he hadn't.


	20. Fade to Black

-This chap rated **M!-**

20

**Fade to Black**

Alec…Alec, I can skip this part if you want.

… Alright, alright, then. I'll keep going. Adriana, if you say "whipped" one more time I will throw this cat at you.

It took a few months for me to see it, to truly see the horror. I saw the awful things that were done behind closed doors, or dark alleyways. It didn't totally become real to me until I saw a man get killed in front of me.

He owed us four dollars. _Four_.

"Look, Nicky, I'm just doin' what my boss said," he shrugged. Tommy shrugged. "And if you ain't got the dough, then you know what I gots ta do."

"Tommy, wait-" He raised and fired the glock before Nicky even had a chance.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed, watching the blood pool on the street. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"He-"

"It was _four, fucking, dollars_," I hissed. "I woulda given it to you!"

"Not the point," Tommy said, holstering the gun. "We let one get away with it and whoever else we buy protection for'll want special favors too."

"So we gun a man down for chump change." It wasn't a question.

"That's just the way it goes, kid."

"Get out," Kristopher begged. "We can leave, go somewhere far away. We can stay with my family back home if we haveta."

"No," I said, holding his face. "After everything you went through just to _get_ her? No; that's not fair to you."

"I don't want somethin' bad to happen to ya," he said softly. I kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry about me," I smiled. "I can take care of myself."

God, if I'd listened to him…

No, darling, there's something in my eye.

"Lay with me?" He asked; voice just a breath on my cheek. I turned my lips into his, wrapping my arms around him.

My thin fingers tangled in his thick curls. His calloused hands, cradled my face.

"You never have to ask," I breathed. I remember the feel of his skin to mine, his gentle hands on my back and neck.

He truly was beautiful. And who doesn't love a boy with an accent?

I laid down on top of him, holding him close, lost in emerald.

"Magnus…" he sighed against my neck, stroking my arms. I kissed his chest and stomach, relishing the feel of his warm skin. He smelled like soap and iron.

"Can I tell you something?" He gasped, looking deep in my eyes.

"Anything."

"I…I think I love you," he whispered. I kissed him deeply.

"I think I love you too."

That was the last time we would touch each other that way.

Oh, god, sorry, Alec, I- Oh. Cute? Really? I know it happened forever and a day ago but don't you-? Well alright.

I wanted out, and I was hell-bent on getting that way.

"There is no 'out'," Tommy spat. "You don't get out of this business. And if you go around talkin' like that and you'll be wearin' concrete shoes."

"Look, Tommy, it's either they let me out or I bolt."

"And where are you gonna go?" I spun around startled. Joseph Cullotta "Joe Kong", one of Capone's street bosses and the one who gave me my jobs was standing in the doorway. "You really gonna walk away? After all you owe us?"

"I don't owe anyone a damn thing," I snarled. "If it's money you want I can give it to you."

"I'm not talking about money, boy. I mean the favors-"

"I am in debt to no one. I've done my job without getting in anyone's pocket."

He walked closer, getting in my face. "Case and point, you deny us your services and we will burn your life."

I stood my ground. "Threaten me all you want. But you can't keep me here forever."

"Oh," he grinned, a group of men coming in behind him. "We can try."

They beat me, bad. I couldn't use my powers to fight. I'd refused to use them on mundanes a long time ago.

I was left coughing blood onto the floor, holding bruised ribs.

"I expect you here bright and early tomorrow," Cullotta chuckled.

"OH, and tell that Irish friend of yours I said hello."

I remember that feeling. That horrible, horrible feeling of overwhelming fear and dread and despair. They'd done something to him, something awful.

I ran home, a madman bolting through the streets. Taking a cab would take too long in this traffic, and I was too weak to use my powers to do otherwise.

I ran up the stairs to our apartment, praying as hard as I could that that boy would be alright.

"Kristopher?" I called into the black room. "My gypsy, please answer me!" I flicked the lights on, and that's when I heard the ragged breathing.

He was lying in front of the couch, gagging mouthfuls of blood, coughing. His face was deeply bruised, shirt torn open, revealing deep cuts and awful burns. God, they tortured him.

His pants were ripped open, blood on the carpet, the broken bottle they'd used to violate him lying a few feet away. They'd done such a terrible thing to this innocent boy…

"Kristopher!" I lifted him into my arms, kissing his beaten cheeks. "Oh, God, sweetheart, what have they done to you?" So much blood… He smiled up at me, tears of pain were streaming down his face.

"I-I'm just glad you're here," he choked. He was dying, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Shh, hush, hush, baby." It's gonna be alright," I soothed. He swallowed hard.

"I, I just wanted to see you one m-more time." He touched my cheek.

"Don't talk like that," I said firmly. "I'm gonna see you again; I'll see you every time I come home." I was still crying. So was he.

"I know," he smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow. We're going to The Blackhawk for lunch, right?"

"Mmhm," I gulped. He took a wet, ragged breath. "God, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me…please. It's all my fault they did this to you. Forgive me-"

"Shh," he touched my lips with cold, shaking fingers. "It's okay. I forgive you, darlin'." He shut his eyes briefly, biting his lip and whimpering softly. The color was going from his face, warmth from his body. I held him tighter, as if I were trying to hold the life inside him.

"It's okay, it's okay. It won't hurt soon," I promised.

"K-kiss me?" He pleaded. I nodded, passionately kissing his bloodied lips for the last time. "G-goodnight, my ma-magician."

"Goodnight, my little gypsy. Still on for tomorrow?" I was containing violent sobs in my chest.

"Tomorrow." His eyes fell shut, body going limp in my arms. He was gone.

I don't know how long I stayed there with him, my face in his hair, loathing myself with every fiber I had, screaming at the heavens, just asking why this could happen to this sweet boy.

All I had to do was listen! I should've whisked him somewhere far away where he'd be safe. But I didn't. And they did this. He was innocent…

* * *

Tears fell in Magnus's lap as he finished speaking. The room was silent. He sniffed, breathing irregular. Alec slowly wrapped his arms around him, not speaking a word.

"That's horrible," Adriana breathed. Magnus nodded, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in Alec's neck.

"It's alright. It's okay. Shh…He forgives you, baby."

"What if I can't forgive myself?"

-So sad :'( More soon-


	21. The Angels Sang A Whiskey Lullabye

-So sorry, ladies and gents for the excruciatingly long wait. Busy and hellish couple of weeks. Please take this chapter as an apology :)-

21

**The Angels Sang a Whiskey Lullaby**

Alec held him close, kissing his cheek, wiping tears away.

"God, I haven't thought about that boy in years," he whispered harshly.

"Shh," Alec soothed. "It wasn't your fault, baby."

"Yes it was," he said miserably. "I should've listened. I should've left with him! I should have sent him away! I should have protected him!"

"Shh, hey, hey, easy. It's okay, it's okay," Alec assured.

"I don't know how I can forgive myself for letting that innocent boy get killed like that. I realize how long ago it was, and that he forgave me…and that's why I don't think about him much. Guilt is crippling." Alec just held him. Magnus cried angrily, self loathing seeping from his eyes.

"It's not your fault, Magnus, it's done. You can't change that." He didn't listen. He couldn't. Not when he felt as awful as he did.

_Stop pitying yourself you big baby!_ He snapped at himself. _God, you're more of a woman than Jane Fonda!_

Alec let him cry, but it only lasted for a minute before he was wiping his eyes and accepting the comfort Alec was offering.

Alec looked at Adriana sadly, exchanging words without saying anything. She nodded, looking at the back of Magnus's dark head.

She wished she'd been there for him. She wouldn't have let some of these awful things happen to him. Or she would have at least _been there_ for him when he needed her the most.

But no. She had been selfish, stupid. But Magnus was here now, and he was just fine. Well, close to fine.

He wasn't that sweet, naïve boy anymore. He wasn't meek and any innocence he had was long gone. He was jaded, hardened, guarded. If he wasn't lost in his own world, or in Alec's eyes his face remained expressionless. He looked like a predator, watching every move around him, read to pounce when needed. He was Magnus, but not the one she had known, taught and practically raised all those centuries ago.

"Do you want to stop for today?" Alec asked.

"No," Magnus gulped, shaking his head and pulling away. "No, it's only four o'clock and I want to get this over with. Besides, we're getting to the good part."

Alec looked at him, heart aching. "If you're sure…" Magnus smiled, locking the tears down deep.

"Darling, I'm always sure."

* * *

My revenge on them was a terrible one. Looking back on it I understand that it was cruel, childish, and made me no better than them. But damn it felt good.

I found every single bastard that had laid a hand on Kristopher and planted his memories behind their eyes. A nightmare brought to life. They died just the way he did. Every cut, every bruise, every ounce of fear and pain was theirs', only I made damn sure that they died alone. They didn't deserve any comfort for what they'd done. It was the first time I had purposely done harm to a mundane using my powers.

The Clave? HA! They were far too busy with their bureaucratic nonsense to care about a few criminals that got bopped off by a witch throwing a temper tantrum. I didn't even receive a slap on the wrist.

I had a way to get out, now. I'd thought of doing it before, but I didn't want to have to completely uproot Kristopher.

Two months after Kristopher died my apartment burned to the ground. The body unrecognizable by anyone, the only clue happened to be the I.D, barely readable in the wallet in the pocket. Magnus Bane Jeffries was declared dead, cremated, ashes spread under a tree because no one bothered to claim a dead mobster.

I went to Boston- What? Oh, right.

I took Kristopher's body back to Ireland the day after he died. I cleaned him up, hid the horrible signs of his painful death so as not to despair his mother any more than this devastating would already. They didn't ask questions when I arrived, none about how I got him here, anyway.

I had to tell not only his mother and father, but his eight, yes _eight_ younger sisters.

He'd been working in America tirelessly and sent half of the money he made back here to try and give them a better life. The eldest sister was almost marrying age, and with the baby always at risk to be sick he had no choice.

"How?" His mother choked, touching his face. "How did my baby die?"

"Fighting," I said softly. "Fighting for something he believed in…and protecting me. He didn't give an inch, madam, I assure you."

His father remained expressionless, such a tired looking man and looked much older than he should have staring at his only son's corpse.

"These were his things," I said, handing his small bag to his father. "The rest of the money he earned is in there as well, he'd want you to have it." He nodded, swallowing hard. I went to hand the jacket he wore nearly every day of his life to the eldest sister, Caitlyn.

"No," she said in Gaelic. "You must have been a close friend of his. And you were kind enough to bring him to us. Keep it…" She shook her head and said in English, "Sorry, you didn't understand that, did you?"

"Yes," I replied in her native language. "I understand." I took the jacket back from her, stopping myself from holding it to me as tightly as I could. "Thank you."

"Someone read him his last rights, didn't they?" His father said steadily.

"Yes sir," I nodded. He sighed.

"Good."

"You'll be staying for the funeral, won't you? Of course you will." I didn't really have a choice.

Let me tell you, those Irish know how to have a funeral. I've never seen so much whiskey in one place before.

I went home after that, now residing in Boston under the name Magnus Bane V. I had slipped in a depression worse than the one the country had gotten itself into with its' overspending. I felt as if those I cared about would either hurt me, or be hurt themselves. I felt like a lightning rod for bad omens and death. Armand had beaten me from day one, just as my parents had. Adriana had "died" because of me, and now poor Kristopher.

I did everything I could to get killed. I gambled, I drank, used my powers on any mundane that irked me, hoping that the Clave would wake the hell up and try get rid of me. As you can tell, they obviously didn't. And by the time they did I was nowhere to be found in America. I found a way out of my life of misery and guilt. On December 7, 1944, the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. The United States entered World War II, and I found my escape. Or, so I thought.


	22. Amazing Grace

22

**Amazing Grace**

"WHAT?" Alec exclaimed. "What the hell? Why would you do that?"

"You were listening, weren't you, darling?" Magnus chuckled. "Look, I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah," he mumbled. Magnus smiled, lifting his chin.

"Smile. It's not as bad as you think," he said gently.

"That's not what I heard," Adriana snorted. Magnus glared at her. "Sorry."

* * *

It was awful, to be honest. That winter was monstrous, to say the very least, but what troubled me the most about going to this stupid war was that they cut my hair off. Gohod, it was awful, I look terrible with a crew cut.

Alec, stop, you're making me blush. It really was that awful, however.

There was death, everywhere. You couldn't walk across a field without seeing fresh blood and fresh corpses. We scrounged what we could from the Nazis, whether it be medicine or ammunition –bastards never had any _food_- and continued on our way, fighting when needed. I watched the men, most of them just children, fall left and right under the ever raining bullets.

I, meanwhile, couldn't seem to _get_ shot. I did every single reckless thing I could think of. I ran across enemy lines for supplies, to run letters, retrieve fallen men. I even went over to shoot a man point blank for insulting my mother.

I know I didn't care for my mother, Adriana, it was the principle of the thing.

I was seen as an important asset, considering I could speak every language they threw at me.

"Where the hell did you learn that Nazi shit, Bane?" Cutler asked. I laughed.

"My sister raised me, stickler for languages. Couldn't walk out of the house in the morning without telling her goodbye in at least four." They laughed.

We were marching, and we'd been doing so for days, listening to bombs go off and planes crash as Hitler's blitzkrieg thrashed the countryside, though we never seemed to run into anyone on the other side to fight it. Poland was ablaze with smoke, ash sticking to us as it mixed with the rain.

There was a smell in the air, not the usual gunpowder and napalm, but something else. It was just a hint caught on the wind. It got stronger as we went on, until it became an awful stench that made some cover their faces.

"God, what the fuck is that?" McGarret snorted. I shrugged.

"I dunno but this makes Pittsburg smell like heaven."

The others laughed. We stopped abruptly when we saw the fence.

Fourteen feet high, at least, barbed wire everywhere. Allen made the mistake of touching it and ended up with an electrical burn on his hand.

"You think you can work your way through this, Houdini?" Lieutenant Jameson asked, looking at me before staring back up at the fence.

"We could always look for the gate." I picked a direction and started walking, hoisting the bag on my shoulder more securely.

"Man he's crazy," I heard someone say. I smiled.

It didn't take long for me to find the gate. It hung open, the chains still swinging, the sound of jeeps and trucks not far off. Someone had left in a hurry. There were no SS in sight, no Nazis, no guards, no one. There were wooden barracks lined one after another behind a large stone building that seemed to be the source of the smell. There was still smoke coming out of the top.

He ran to me first. He couldn't have been more than five, and he ran as fast as his little feet would carry him, his clothes flapping in the wind, four sizes too big, hat nearly falling over his eyes.

I don't know how he knew we weren't German soldiers, but he did. He jumped in my arms, crying and shaking like a leaf. I could feel his shoulder blades as if they were on the outside of his skin. He was thin, unbearably thin.

"Hey, hey, it's alright," I said in German. He stared at me, tears streaming.

"Aš nesuprantu," he sniffed. It was Lithuanian for I don't understand.

"Shh, it's alright," I assured, changing my dialect. I smiled gently at him, wiping tears from his dirty cheeks. Such a precious child, he didn't need to be in this awful place. "What's your name?"

"Sasha," he whimpered.

"Shh, shh, it's alright. Where's your mama, Sasha?" I said quietly. He pointed his shaking his little hand at the large brick fixture. "She's over there?" He nodded, leaning his head against my chest, shivering. I pulled my coat off and wrapped it around him, walking toward it. He hid his face, sniffling. "Shh…" I soothed.

I learned, horrified, as I walked, that what I was looking at was an oven, and there was a pile of bodies lying next to it, ready to burn.

I turned away, fighting bile in my throat. Some of the others who'd followed couldn't hold it. I smiled at Sasha, tears in my eyes.

"Mama?" He choked. I swallowed hard.

"Mama's…Mama's gone to sleep," I said, still smiling as best as I could.

"When w-will she wake up?" A tear fell down my cheek, I couldn't stop it. I hugged him tighter.

"She's not going to wake up, little one." I saw understanding in tiny, haunted eyes, understanding that no child should have. "Where's your papa?"

"A soldier shot him in the back of the head." He said it so simply, his tears falling silently. I hugged him again.

"Don't worry," I assured. "I'm going to get you home, alright? It'll be okay?"

Other people had come out of the barracks, some so near death we dared to breathe around them. They were in such a horrible state.

"BANE!" Jameson bellowed. I walked toward him. Cutler was in front of him, supporting a young man. "Can you understand him?"

"Wie ist Ihr name?" I asked his name.

"Christian," he said. I bounced Sasha lightly as I spoke to him, holding the back of his head.

He told us the war had ended and the Nazis ran for their lives.

O'Reiley found a radio and got on the right channel, calling in whoever they could to get trucks, food, water and enough blankets to cover about fifty people.

There were three hundred there a week before.

I got Sasha swaddled in a blanket and fed, giving him Cutler's thick hat, replacing his thin one. I tore the gold star from his shirt, throwing it to the ground with disgust.

"No one's going to hurt you for that anymore," I said quietly.

They started loading the trucks, half of the troupe going with them to make sure they got out okay.

A woman came over, reaching out to take Sasha from me. I shook my head, turning away and holding him tighter.

"I've got him."

"Bane-"

"He won't go to anyone else, watch." I tried handing him to the woman. The little boy whimpered, hugging my neck tighter.

"No, no, no, no," he shook his head.

"Shh, hush, hush, it's alright." I looked at Jameson, making my point. He nodded, lips pursed.

"I can find someone to take care of him," I assured. "But it'll be on my terms. I've seen orphanages and foster homes; I know what they're like. I'll leave him with someone who'll take care of him."

"How? No paperwork, no-" I showed him the boy's arm, the numbers tattooed into his skin.

"I think that's enough paperwork for President Truman, don't you?"


	23. When You Wish Upon a Star

23

**When You Wish Upon a Star**

I took the boy back to America, and he didn't let me go once. Getting through the harbor was as I imagined it.

"What the hell?" The man said, pointing at Sasha. "No paperwork, no entrance. You can't bring that kid through here."

"I think I can," I said, glaring at him. He glowered right back. Sasha had his face hidden in my shirt, frightened by the stranger.

"Who the hell died and made you president? That kid ain't gettin' through here, take him somewhere else," he growled. I took Sasha's arm, pulling his sleeve back and shoving the tattoo in his face.

"And where would you like me to take him? Back to that desolate wasteland that's now his home? Shove him in an overcrowded orphanage back in Europe where he'll starve to death?" I hissed. The man's eyes were wide, face pale. "His mother and father died right in front of him. This child has seen more carnage than you or I could ever imagine, and you want to deny him access to this country where he can live a full, healthy life?"

We filled out the citizen paperwork then and there.

I took him back to my apartment in Manhattan, getting him to a doctor and a dentist to make sure he was alright. The doctor didn't tell me anything I didn't already know and the dentist said his teeth had managed to stay in remarkably good shape.

I bought him clothes, toys, books, assorted foods that adults didn't usually eat. Single dads were virtually unheard of back then, but I tried. He was always near me, never going more than an hour without asking me to hold him. There were a lot of things that frightened him; loud noises, fire, showers and the dark. God, the dark… If a car backfired outside would leave me trying to coax him out from under the bed for an hour.

I was walking with him around the city once, getting him used to people, helping him remember what fun was. He trotted happily beside me, licking an ice-cream cone. I swung my arm, holding his free hand, making him smile and giggle. "Did you have fun today?" I asked.

"Uh huh!" He grinned. I smiled back.

"Good." We walked past a homeless man that tossed a match into a trashcan. The fire sprang to life. I paid it no attention, not until my arm jerked back as Sasha stopped walking. His wide eyes were staring at the flames, little lips trembling. Silent tears trekked down his cheeks. I knelt down in front of him, trying to turn his face toward mine. "Sasha," he didn't move. "Sasha, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

He suddenly realized I was there again. He jumped on me, wrapping his arms so tightly around my neck I couldn't breathe. He was screaming and sobbing aloud.

"No, no, no, no! I don' wanna go in there! Please, I'll be good, Ma'nus, I'll be good! D-don' make me go in there!" He squealed.

"Sasha!" I stood with him, nodding to the frightened and concerned-looking man in front of the blazing trashcan. "Sasha, look at me, honey, look at me." His big gray eyes looked at me, filled with tears, little lips shaking. I touched his cheek. "No one is going to hurt you. They don't put people in fires here. No one is going to hurt you, baby." He hugged me, his ice-cream cone fallen and forgotten on the sidewalk. "Let's go home."

He fell asleep on the way there, his fingers digging into my collar. The poor thing.

The first time I gave him a bath was no picnic either. He took one look at the shower head and screamed, backing away frantically, sobbing softly.

"No, no, no! Ma'nus!" He grabbed my hand, tugging me away from the bathroom. "Don' go in! You go in an' you won' come out!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, shh, it's alright. Sasha, the shower won't hurt you. Would I put you near something that would hurt you?" I asked gently, kneeling in front of him. He shook his head. "Nothing in there is going to hurt you, alright?" I had my hand on his shoulder, smiling warmly. He looked at me, sniffing. I frowned.

"Now what is that?" I said, reaching behind his ear. His eyes lit up when he saw the rubber duck I'd materialized. "What is he doing in your ear?" I squeezed it, making it squeak. "Mmhm," I nodded, squeezing it again. "Oh, you would? Well, I'll ask him." I looked at Sasha, who was staring at me curiously. "He wants to know if he can come in the bath with you," I covered the duck's "ears". "I had to be sure he didn't seem like a shady character to you." He grinned, eyes bright. I smiled back.

"He's otay," he said, taking the toy from me.

"Well, as long as you're sure."

The dark was the worst. I'd laid him in a bed across from mine that first night. It wasn't ten feet away, and it was all I could stand. I handed him the teddy bear I'd acquired before we'd left Europe, tucking it next to him. He squeezed it tightly, staring up at me. I rubbed his forehead, smiling lightly. "Rest," I soothed. "I'll be right over there if you need me." He nodded, shutting his eyes. I waited a few moments, noting that rubbing his forehead would make him sleep and stood, turning out the lights.

It wasn't long before I heard him. I woke to hear him crying and whimpering incoherently. I stood immediately, waving my hand over the lamp to make it ignite.

He'd hidden under his blanket, trembling. I lifted it up, peering down at him. He was curled in a ball, face in the bear. "Sasha," he jumped, looking up at me. "Shh, was it too dark?" He nodded. I scooped him up, holding him to my chest like he was an infant, bouncing him lightly. "Shh, hush…hush, darling. Shh." I lied down on my own bed, still holding him. "Go to sleep, darling. I'm here, I'm right here," he hugged me as tightly as his tiny arms would allow.

"Did bad things happen to you in the dark?" He nodded vigorously. "Shh, it's alright, it's alright, shh…"

I had to find him parents. The boy needed a mother, and I couldn't raise him. What was I going to do when the day came that I looked more like his son than his father? No, no it couldn't be me. But I knew who could.

I waited about a month before I went, mostly to get the poor thing adjusted and accustomed to how children are supposed to be treated. Now I stood in front of their apartment, holding the sleeping boy, a bag slung over my shoulder. I tucked the bear next to him, touching his cheek. This was going to be hard, very hard, which is why I put him to sleep. I wouldn't have handed him over if I saw him cry, I wouldn't be able to.

"You'll have a new Mama, when you wake up," I told him, cradling him in my arms. He smiled a little, hope in his eyes.

"P'omise?" I nodded, kissing his forehead.

"Promise."

I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

Isolde frowned when she opened the door, looking at the child in my arms before looking at me. Her big round eyes stared at me curiously, her black curls pinned back. God, she looked just like her grandmother.

"Can, can, I help you?" She asked, still looking at Sasha.

"You're about to have the strangest conversation of your life, dear," I admitted, swallowing hard, shifting my grip on the baby. "I understand you're looking to adopt." She nodded, her attention on me. "A boy, yes?"

"Yes."

"This is Sasha. He's four-and-a-half years old, he'll tell you himself. He's smart, he's very smart, teaching him English won't take long, I promise. He doesn't misbehave or-"

"Relax," she said, touching my arm. "Why can't you take care of him?" I looked down, taking another breath.

"I just can't. I…He needs a mother. He needs someone with a stable life, someone to stay in one place for more than a few years. He needs a home. Someone that can take care of him and love him like he deserves," I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. She smiled gently at me.

"It looks like you already do that," she said. I shook my head.

"There's things for him that I can't provide. Me living alone is not stable. I…I know this is sudden, and you have absolutely no idea who I am, but I obviously know who you are. I'm limited on my options. He speaks Lithuanian, and I know your grandmother wouldn't have let you grow up without knowing German. You know how close those languages are-"

"You're rambling again," she said softly.

"Sorry. He's been through a lot…I mean a lot," I pulled the blanket back, showing her his arm. She gasped, tenderness in her eyes. "His mother died in a gas chamber, she hid him from the Nazis. That's all he's known for two years. His father was shot and killed directly in front of him." I paused for a moment, looking at his peaceful face.

"His favorite color's blue. He likes chocolate ice-cream and airplanes. This bear," I gestured to it, "if he doesn't have that when he goes to sleep he won't sleep. He has nightmares and you have to rub his forehead to get him to go back to sleep. He doesn't like peas and he's deathly allergic to strawberries. I…He's a good kid and you can say no, but…but I don't have a lot of other options."

She said yes, as you can gather. Her husband took one look at him and fell in love. Handing him over to her was agonizing. I lifted him out of my arms and into hers, a hollow feeling in my stomach as I did. I handed her the bag, unable to take my eyes off of him. "Take care of him." It wasn't a request. She nodded, smiling.

"What did you say your name was?" She asked.

"I didn't," I said, still not looking at her. "My name is Magnus, that's all you need to know."

The silence that followed made me look up. Her eyes were wide, face pale. "Grandma's Magnus?" She breathed. I nodded slowly.

"Yes."

"My god, you're real."

"Last time I checked I was," I chuckled. She shook her head, squeezing Sasha a little tighter, smiling at me.

"You really are an angel," she said. I shook my head.

"No, not an angel. I just know where to look."

It wasn't the last time I saw Sasha, I went back a few years later to see if he was doing alright, and he was the happiest child I'd ever seen.

Alec, what are you looking at?


	24. Cat Scratch Fever

24

**Cat Scratch Fever**

Alec stared at Magnus for a beat before literally leaping into his lap. He held his face, kissing him deeply, knees straddling his hips. Magnus gasped, falling back against the couch, only taking a moment before melting into his arms, kissing him back with full force.

"And you. Call me. Mommy." Alec scoffed between kisses. "Your. So. Cute."

"Shut up and kiss me." He held his waist, lips and tongues tangling together in a rhythm neither of them knew but completely understood.

Adriana had her hand over her eyes, patting Chairman Meow absently.

"Alright!" Magnus said, pushing Alec back, cheeks flushed. "Later. Now, no, later, absolutely, but we have to stop or I'm going to do something in front of Adriana that I'd rather not do," he said quietly.

Alec stared at him from under dark lashes, biting his lower lip.

"Gohod," Magnus looked away, shaking his head. "Stop that, stop it right now, you provocative little-"

Alec kissed him again. Magnus waved his hand, sending him to the other end of the couch. "God, the things I'm going to do to you later…"

"Anyway," Adriana persisted.

"Right," Magnus shook his head. "Back on topic."

* * *

Giving Sasha up hurt. I'd grown quite attached to the little guy, but I had other pressing matters to attend to and understood that that chapter of my life had ended.

I'd started my business. Doing favors for Downworlders in exchange for money.

What kind of favors? Spells to get them money, protection, potions to hide scales or other deformities, an occasional hit on someone naughty, it all depends.

Anyway, I'd made quite a name for myself in Manhattan, and the rest of New York for that matter.

The '50s were great. Malt shops, leather jackets, James Dean and Elvis Presley; what more could you ask for in a decade? Well, there are other things…

I was stepping out of an alley, dusting what was left of a vampire from my coat, when something warm and sharp fell on my head.

To this day, I don't know where it came from, as there was no place for it to fall. Maybe it came from the sky, or the pits of Hell, I'm not sure. But, after getting over the initial shock, when I took the mass from my head, I was facing a tiny white fur-ball.

The cat stared back at me, gaze as unfaltering as mine.

"You little bastard," I said, righting my slicked hair. "Watch where you're goin', cat." I dropped him to the ground, walking away. I thought for sure that would be the end of it. Sadly, I was sorely mistaken.

It took about six blocks before I discovered the tiny white mass was still trotting behind me. That definitely explained the strange looks I was getting.

"What do you want?" I said, turning and staring down at him, and he stared right back. I swear to God he was smirking. "Go home, shoo!" I swung at it with my boot. He backed away, barely, and stared. I shook my head. "Stupid cat."

I walked away once more, and he was still behind me when I got home.

"Oh my God," I growled, frustrated. "What is with you? Do I look like someone who needs a kitten? Huh? Do I? You're going to get bigger and make more messes when you do! Now find someone else to bother."

I went inside. After pouring over affairs, getting clientele taking care of and sorted I forgot about the tiny cat, thinking nothing of it. Until I walked outside the next day. He was sitting right where I had left him outside my door, staring up at me when I looked at him. I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't moved from that spot all night.

"What do you want?" I exclaimed. "What, you want food? If I give you food you'll never go away." He blinked. I sighed, walking away.

Once again, he followed me no matter where I went, always staying far enough away that I couldn't turn around and kick him. Smart little shit.

I sat down for lunch, frowning when he hopped onto the table. "Look, little cat," I sighed, frustrated. "You're very cute and I'm sure you'd like to stay in my very expensive condo, but there is no way I can keep you."

He nuzzled his face against my cheek. "Ohh, don't do that." I lightly pushed him away. He returned, sliding under my neck, his little blue eyes almost pleading with me. "No." He blinked, pink nose twitching. "No." I said more firmly. I stood.

He didn't follow me on the way home, and I thought I was finally rid of him. I was a little sad, to be honest.

But when I got home, there he was, sitting right on my doorstep, looking slightly smug. I sighed, staring down at him.

"Fine. One, and I mean _one_ saucer of milk, got it." He bowed his head once in a small nod. "Good."

I should have known better, the little con artist.

I found the saucer empty in the morning, and no cat in sight. Figures. Eat and run. I went about my business as usual, taking calls and money, checking schedules for when I could fit these errands and favors in.

A week passed, one full week, before I came home and the little shit was in my house. He was sitting on my island.

"How the hell did-? Are you-? GET OUT!" I pointed at the door. He didn't move.

"Look, cat, I've had about enough of your harassment, I-"

I looked at him. He was thin, shaking from the November rain, a little dirty. I frowned. "Oh, hey," I picked him up. He fit right in my palm, curling up there, shaking a little against my chest. "Alright, you poor thing, I'll keep you. The streets are no place for a little guy like you anyway." I waved my hand over him. He was dry instantly, snowy white as he had once been. "I'll take you to a vet in the morning."

His name came about by accident, though I thought it was funny.

I was holding a meeting, talking to a gang of warlocks about someone they would like to see removed from their order.

"Alright, for those who don't know I'm Magnus Bane, my fees are high, but I get every job done perfectly," I smirked. "I'd like to recognize Chairman Green and Chairman-"

There was a soft meow at the end of a table, a tiny white head peeking over the wooden table. "Chairman Meow." The others chuckled. I scooped him up, plopping him in my lap, petting him as I discussed business with them. He's been with me ever since. I have no idea how old he is, or where he came from that day, but if not for him, I'd probably be dead.


	25. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

25

**Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds**

Magnus scratched behind Chairman Meow's ears, smiling contentedly. "He's such a little demon. Breaking my things when he's angry, running away just to get attention. Although, one of those times turned out in my favor." He winked at Alec. "Foiled your plans didn't it, you little monster?" If a cat could scowl, then that was the expression he had as he strutted away, planting himself in Alec's lap.

"You always did like him better, didn't you?" He challenged. The nuzzled Alec's chest in reply. "Bitch." Adriana giggled.

"Alright, so I'm sure the sixties were fun, right?" She asked.

* * *

Oh, absolutely. Love not war, Beatlemania, birth control, it was one helluva party.

Jimi Hendrix was a god, Bob Dylan was the master of the harmonica and Martin Luther King had a dream. And the drugs. Good god, the drugs. The Peace Corps brought in all kinds of strange and wacky things that made everyone feel as high as Lucy in the Sky.

The best part for me, apart from selling incense -and uh, ahem, _other_ incense- and Woodstock, was that lovely experimenting everyone was into.

I was at a party, the only one who wasn't on some psychedelic. They don't work on me, anyway. Everyone was hanging all over each other, whether it be on a piece of furniture, a wall or the dance floor, swaying back and forth to "Love Me Do".

I had shoved several sweating and drunk women off of me, laughing and telling them to follow the rainbow somewhere else.

"You need to loosen up, man," my friend Michael said, giggling. "Everyone else is fine as wi-ine, and you're bein' such a drag." I shook my head, laughing.

"Well, someone has to be level-headed in case the police show up, now don't they?" I smirked. He stared at me for a moment, his long blonde hair hanging over the arm of the couch in a soft curtain. "What?" I chuckled.

He stood, walking to me, falling into my lap. I sat back, eyes wide, looking up at him. "Um, Michael, dear, how many colors are you seeing right now?"

"I just wanna try something," he said, grinning. I waited, just looking up at him, thinking of how much he'd hate himself in the morning for this. He leaned toward me, kissing me. He smelled like the plant he'd so greatly ingested, but other than that he was definitely cleaner than ninety percent of the people here.

"I don't think this is a good idea," I said calmly.

"I think you need to loosen up." His hands were inside my shirt, feeling curiously. I shook my head.

"Michael, you're going to hate me and yourself tomorrow if you-" He kissed me again, cutting me off. "You're smarter than this," I warned.

"Not tonight, I'm not."

I gave up trying to reason with him. He wanted a regretful night? By God, who was I to deny him that? I slammed him onto the couch, fingers tangled in his soft hair. He sighed softly with want, wrists locked around my neck.

"I didn't know you were this good of a kisser," he said, laughing a little. I kissed him roughly.

"You should see what else I'm good at." I tore the shirt from his lean body, kissing and touching him all over.

I pulled my own T-shirt off, letting him do what he wanted to me. His kisses were soft, hands needy and nervous.

"Never done this before," he breathed. "Not with a dude." I chuckled.

"Trust me, sugar, I know. But don't worry. No one here's gonna remember this, alright?" I assured. He smiled.

"I honestly don't care if they do."

Hey, no one said friends with benefits was against the law.

Alexander, are you…are you jealous?

* * *

"No," Alec snapped, arms folded. Adriana smirked. Chairman Meow shook his head.

Magnus smiled, smiling at him.

"Adriana, could you go grab some dinner?" He asked, not taking his eyes from him.

"Sure," she said, standing. "What do you want?"

"There's this diner called Eddie's that has killer burgers," he said, still not looking at her.

"Where is it?"

He grinned. "Queens."

She smiled knowingly and left.

Magnus slowly edged toward him, smirking. Alec swallowed, watching as he moved like a large cat toward him, shoulders dipping as he went. His hand reached his calf. He yanked him toward him, sending him to on his back. He gasped, looking up at him.

"Are you still angry with me?" He asked softly. Alec shook his head. "You sure? Your cheeks are pink."

"I…I'm not mad, I'm…" He flushed deeper. Magnus smiled, wrinkling his nose.

"You're so cute," he nuzzled his nose in his neck, making Alec giggle unwillingly. He may act like a big, tough Shadowhunter in front of the rest of the world, but he was the sweetest little lamb around him. He kissed him softly, moving his lips just right so Alec would moan a little, cheeks hot.

Magnus ran his fingers through his thick dark hair, stroking his cheek. "You're cute when you're angry," he said, unbuttoning the boy's shirt, gaining better access to his neck and chest.

"We have about an hour and a half before Adriana gets back," he whispered. "How about we make the best of it?"

"Oh, okay," he breathed. Magnus kissed him deeply, rubbing his forehead.

"Unless you don't want to?" He said softly. Alec wrapped his legs around his waist, kissing him firmly.

"You're kidding, right?" He asked, incredulous. "I've wanted to get my hands on you all day."

"Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one," he smiled. He tugged his shirt over his head, letting Alec's pale fingers explore his chest, sighing and shutting his eyes.

His own thin fingers were tangled in his dark hair, thumbing his cheeks and lips. He kissed him, moaning at the feel of his skin.

"You're so beautiful," Alec whispered. Magnus shook his head.

"After I'm done with this story, you might not think so," he said.

"No," Alec said, eyes raw. "I love you, I always will. Nothing you did in the past is gonna make me think otherwise."

"Don't say things you don't mean, darling."

Alec sighed, expression determined. He pulled Magnus to him, kissing him hard and deep. "I mean it, damn it. I love you more than anything in the world. What's done is done, nothing will change that. And nothing's going to change how I feel about you because of it. And I won't get jealous anymore, I wanna know."

Magnus hugged him, lips pressed to his cheek. "I don't deserve someone like you." Alec smiled a little, blushing.

"Well, you're stuck with me."

"I can live with that."


	26. Magic Fingers

26

**Magic Fingers**

Alec collapsed on Magnus's chest, both gasping and sweating.

"Oh wow," Magnus panted. "Wow. God, I love angry sex." Alec looked at him, settling into his arms.

"I wasn't angry," he breathed. Magnus snorted.

"Trust me, darling, whether you think you were angry or not, you most definitely were. I know angry sex when I feel it, and that was angry sex," he said pointedly. He kissed him, thumbing his cheek and brushing his hair out of the way. "No more jealousy, right? You promised."

He nodded. "I won't…much." Magnus smiled.

"Nearly all of them meant nothing, darling. I'm just good with names," he assured.

"I just want to know you were happy," Alec whispered. Magnus's smile turned knowing and slightly sad.

"Darling, you'll be sorely disappointed if you keep that attitude," he said softly. He kissed him again. Alec frowned.

"I thought you said this story had a happy ending?"

Magnus kissed him deeply. "It does, mon cher, it does. But you won't see it until it's right in front of you. Which is one of the reasons I love you so much." Alec's naïve eyes stared up at him, curious. "You'll see my love."

The door opened and the boy jumped, turning beet red and leaning closer to Magnus.

"Is it safe?" Adriana asked, eyes closed. Magnus chuckled, kissing Alec's forehead and snapping his fingers, bringing clothes to both of their bodies. Alec sighed, his blush receding just a little.

"Alright, you're fine," Magnus said, still giggling. She opened her eyes and continued inside, setting the bags of food on the coffee table. Alec sat up, sitting on the other side of the couch, still bright red. Magnus sighed, leaning his head back and reaching in his jacket pocket, lighting a cigarette.

Adriana shook her head, trying not to smile. "Have fun?"

Magnus grinned, eyes still closed. "Absolutely." Somehow, Alec's blush deepened. She laughed.

"Alec, I'm a big girl, I know that you and Magnus had sex, you don't have to act like it's a secret," she assured. He bit his lip, turning almost purple.

"I-I, I know, I-I-I just, um, I-"

"We had the most raw, crazy, hot, messy sex I've ever had the pleasure of having," Magnus said, winking at Alec, who now went pale, horrified that Magnus had said that. "He was spectacular, absolutely primal and I loved it. I'm going to have hickeys and bite marks all over me tomorrow and that just gets me riled up all over again. I love him more than anything else on the face of the planet and I hope someday I can have an encore performance."

He took the last drag off of his cigarette and pinched it out, dropping the butt into the ashtray floating beside him. He sat up, digging into the bags before him, squeezing Alec's knee.

"She would have asked me for gory details later, darling, I was saving everyone time." Alec shook his head and took a burger, still pink.

* * *

Now, back to what I was saying.

Michael and I ended up at my place. I woke up the next morning and shook my head, still unable to believe he was that stupid.

It took awhile before he woke up, groggy, head aching; I could tell just by looking at him. He groaned, running his fingers through his hair and looked over at me. I looked down at him expectantly.

"Oh no," He moaned, shutting his eyes. "We didn't."

"Oh, trust me, honey, we did," I sighed, leaning back against my headboard. He shook his head. "I tried to tell you-"

"I know, I know!" He exclaimed. "I just can't believe that we, that I…Gohod…"

"Hey," I shrugged, "as far as I'm concerned it never happened." He looked up at me.

"Really?" I nodded, expression hard, cool, indifferent.

"It didn't mean anything anyway. It wasn't like you were looking for a relationship or anything. In this day and age it could get someone beaten to death," I chuckled. He chewed his lip, brow creased. He sat up and tugged his jeans on. I sat there, smoking, trying not to pay any attention to him.

"Hey," he said. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He looked at me for a moment before lightly pecking my lips. "I'll see you around." I nodded.

"Yeah," he headed for the door. "Hey, Mike?" He turned. "Don't be such a chick."

He laughed and shut the door.

I shook my head. Michael eventually got married and had five kids. He became and executive at some cooperate office and never thought of my name again, I'm sure. And if he did he quickly willed it away. I don't think he'd want to think about that time he had sex with a guy who just so happened to be his best friend at the time. Definitely something you share at the dinner table.

The rest of the decade and most of the seventies came and went without much of a stir. I moved to this apartment, my little cotton ball that enjoyed tearing up my clothes in tow and questioned why the High Warlock –at the time- was the high warlock.

But that confrontation didn't happen until later.

In the 1980s, homosexuality was fully addressed. Bashings skyrocketed, as did protests of Christians. AIDS spread, only feeding hatred and shunning and murderous fanatics and stupid children. Harvey Milk had been dead and buried and Queen was still going strong.

People like me were afraid of being who they were. Though the sexual revolution had happened nearly twenty years ago, it was heightened now. Everyone knew, even though the incidents went unreported. We knew.

I'm not trying to preach, sorry. It was just very scary. You could turn a corner and find yourself being beaten beyond recognition.

Did it happen to me? Of course it did, my love. I'm not immune. And as flamboyant as I am it wasn't hard to figure out. That and I didn't keep it a secret very well. Oh, darling don't look at me like that, please. It wasn't like it now. It wasn't a hate crime, police officers didn't care if you lived or died.

Oh, come now, darling, it wasn't _that_ bad. Alright, it was but…but it's important. And it'll be over soon.


	27. Black Magic

**-WARNING!: Strong language and violence ahead!-**

27

**Black Magic**

I don't know when walking became a crime in this country, maybe it did in 1981, I don't know. You wear one V-neck shirt and people automatically scream about the Bible and God and Hell and your immortal soul. Funny thing is, I don't think God really gives a shit about me and as far as I know, I'm immortal. So I'm not all that worried.

Oh, Alexander, don't look at me like that. You _have_ been listening to all of this, haven't you? I've had no reason to think he cares about me.

Adriana, don't.

Alec, no-

CAN I SPEAK?

…

Thank you.

I was walking down the road, just walking, minding my own business as usual.

Something struck me in the side of the head, hands grabbing a fistful of my hair. I was thrown into the alley beside me, falling on my chest, knocking the wind out of me I didn't have time to think, or really process what was happening, let alone use my powers.

I heard laughter behind me and felt someone kneel on top of me, their knee in my back. Two more were standing with their boots on my arms, holding me down.

In the meantime, I was struggling and cursing loudly. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TOUCH ME, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The man at my back yanked my wrists from under their boots, scraping my arms across the asphalt and the rough rubber. "Shut it, fag," he grunted, binding my hands in wire.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"SHUT UP!" Something hard struck me in the back of the head, sending my reeling. Darkness swirled around me, only making my fear that much worse. I was scared, and I was angry. I hadn't done anything to these people and God only knew what they would do to me.

But you have to understand, my love, I was done with life. Almost eight-hundred years of life, five-hundred of them being almost totally alone. My greatest friend was a cat that had fallen on my head thirty years before. I wanted it to end. I wanted to enter that darkness or hellfire or whatever it may be and just end this pointless and stupid life.

God, darling, please don't look at me like that, I'm here now, aren't I? So I'm obviously not dead.

Anyway, I passed out. When I woke I was outside somewhere near a river. It was cold, damp. I never did find out what it was.

My clothes were gone, my wrists were still bound behind my back, mouth gagged with what felt like my own underwear. Yes, humiliating, I know.

The second my eyes opened they began beating me. They hauled me up to my knees and punched me over and over, two of them holding me still, lifting my face when needed for better reach. My ribs and their shoes connected next, making awful bruises, breaking a few.

They broke my nose, shattered my collar bone, cracked my wrists and snapped three fingers. They screamed "FAGGOT!" and "COCKSUCKER!" as they did, all young men blurring together so I couldn't possibly tell how many there were.

They told me how much God hated me, how I was a disease carrying queer that took it up the ass like a greedy animal. I was in so much pain I could barely hear them. I wanted assurance I would die.

"You're gonna rot in Hell," one of them said, holding my face, squatting in front of me, grinning. He pulled a knife from his pocket, grabbing a fistful of my hair. "You know, all that hair makes you look like a fucking girl. Is that what you want, faggot?"

"Leave me alone," I said shakily into the gag, angry and –though I hated to admit it- terrified. A knife clicked beside my ear. My eyes widened. The others around me laughed hysterically.

He held my hair tighter. I felt the knife dig into my hair, cutting it from my scalp. God it hurt. It wasn't just the physical pain that hurt, no, no it was inside me too. My heart and my gut. It was like with each lock that he tore away, something inside me was torn as well.

I screamed in pain, watching as the pieces of my once long hair fall to the ground. The others laughed around me, happy that I was suffering this much.

The knife slipped a few times, cutting me. The boy didn't care. I bit my lip, hard. I wouldn't cry in front of them, but the lump in my throat was huge. Tears welled in my eyes but I kept them back out of centuries of will I'd built up.

It was gone. My hair, my identity… I bowed my head, humiliated.

"Now, that's much better, isn't it, cocksucker?" He hissed. "Now, just one more thing…"

He took the knife he'd used to take my hair away and shoved it in my stomach.

* * *

"NO!" Alec screamed. Magnus jumped, looking up at him. Alec's fists were clenched tightly in his lap, tears in his eyes, cheeks pinked in anger.

Adriana, had her hand over her mouth, sniffing.

Magnus looked at them sadly, realizing that he'd caused them to feel this way. He reached across the couch, pulling Alec into his arms, an awful feeling in his stomach.

"Shh, hey, hey, it's alright, I'm okay, baby," he assured. "That's it. He stabbed me, I'm fine now, don't worry about it."

"No," Alec sniffed, clinging to his shirt. "No, go ahead. I want to know how you got out of there." I looked at Adriana.

"I want to know too," she whispered, swallowing hard and clearing her throat. "I do."

He squeezed Alec's to his chest, combing through his hair.

* * *

Alright.

The blade was like ice. My muscles contracted around it, my lungs hitching where they were. I screamed, unable to keep the few tears that leaked from my eyes to my cheeks away. It came out and drove it right back in again. He stabbed me three times, blinding me. I couldn't breathe. My lungs wouldn't work. My breath rattled and I gagged, choking on my own blood.

This is what I wanted. Death. But, God, it was so slow.

They laughed, letting me fall to the ground, into the mud. I coughed again, unable to breathe. Through the blur that was my vision, clouded by agony, I saw something small and white standing at the river's edge.

"Burn in Hell, Faggot." He spit on me before walking away with the others, who made sure to get their last blows in.

Then I was alone. Naked, trembling from the cold and in such horrible pain. I felt like the disgusting vermin they told me I was. Part of me was screaming that I should have tried to fight back, that I should have used my powers to get rid of them. But the repercussions from that would be absolutely terrible. The Clave could have arrested me, and that part of me that I had been trying to hold onto for so long, the good that I had left, would disappear from me forever. I wanted to die with that. Maybe that would save me…maybe…

I'd drifted away, lost in some awful haze between life and death. I couldn't move. I tried to breathe, but mostly I just wanted it to be over.

I had nothing to hang on to. Nothing. I didn't want to live. I mean, do either one of you know what it feels like to want to die?

* * *

"Yes," Alec said softly.

Magnus blanched. It was a rhetorical question, he hadn't… _Oh my God._

"What?" He whispered. Alec looked up at him, nodding.

"I know what that feels like," he said quietly. "I…I understand." Magnus just looked at him, frowning, pained.

"Later," he said, voice cracking only slightly. "Tell me later."

He cleared his throat.

* * *

I, um, it took a long time before I heard or saw anything but the flickering water. They wanted me to suffer, that's why they didn't push me in. And I couldn't make my way to it.

"_Magnus_," I could barely hear it. "_Magnus, look at me_."

I had a friend that I'd been speaking to for a few years named Joseph. He was around two hundred years old and looked around forty-five. Old enough to be my father to onlookers. He and his wife Elena were sweet, kind. I didn't know why he was above me, but he was.

I don't remember much of this, but Joseph told me once I woke up.

"Oh dear god, is he alive?" Elena asked, frantic.

"Yes, he's alive." Joseph was calm, as usual, but there was an edge of fear there. White hot pain shot through my stomach as he put his hand over the open wounds. "Shh, shh, it's alright, it's alright, Magnus. I'll get you home, shh…" He soothed. "Darling, I can't move, untie him please."

Elena's gentle hands turned my face to her. She eased the gag from my lips, exclaiming softly when she identified what it was. "Oh, sweetheart," she breathed. I coughed, shutting my eyes. She caressed my forehead and where my hair once was. "Joseph, his…his hair…"

"I know," he said, sounding sick. "Keep going, dear, I have to work."

I cried softly as he touched me, knowing that he was saving a life that wasn't wanted, not by anyone.

* * *

"Shut up," Alec said firmly. He hugged him tight, kissing his cheek. "I want it if you don't." Magnus smiled gently.

"It's all yours, my love."

* * *

"Stay with me, Magnus, you aren't going anywhere."

My hands came free; something covered my waist.

"Mmnn…" I shut my eyes, tears slipping from under them.

"Shh, almost done, almost done. I'm so sorry." I was healing, I could feel it. The pain receded, my skin was intact again, my nose, fingers and ribs sealed. But the bruises stayed, the gashes were hollow and my hair was only half the length that it had been.

"There we go, there we go. Let's get you home."

I blacked out.

When I woke up I was in my room, alone, exhausted and aching. I looked over at the tiny white face beside me. The thing I'd seen by the river. He'd gotten Joseph and Elena. I smiled a little, barely able to find the strength to pat his head.

"You just won't let me die, will you?" I croaked. He nuzzled his face into my hand. "Little shit…" And I fell asleep again.

I never did find those boys. I didn't know how Joseph got me home and safe or how my cat not only found me when I was in trouble but went and got help once he did. I don't know about any of these, but I do know that being in that room, all alone in the dark, was awful. I cried myself to sleep that night, and for many more that followed. That wasn't the last incident where I was persecuted for my orientation, but the other was much more interesting.


	28. An Angel with No Halo

28

**An Angel with No Halo**

"What happened?" Alec asked. Magnus shook his head.

"No, your turn to tell me a story," he said firmly. He looked at Adriana. "Do you mind if we..?"

"Not at all," she smiled. Magnus threw his hand up, putting up a barrier between them. She turned her chair around, facing away from them. She couldn't hear a sound through that thing, and she wasn't about to be rude and watch.

Magnus threw a throw-pillow toward Adriana, smiling when it bounced off a foot away. "YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE!" He bellowed. She didn't move. He looked at Alec, satisfied with himself.

"Now, talk to me," he said gently, taking his hand.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, trying to stall. Magnus shook his head, touching his face.

"You know what I'm talking about, sweetheart," he said. "Why did you want to die?"

Alec chewed his lip, looking at his hands.

* * *

When I figured out I was gay, I…I got mad, mostly. I was angry at myself for not being normal. When Jace moved in I only got more confused. I knew nothing would come of our relationship, I think that's why I went for it, because I knew it would never happen, and if it never happened it wasn't real. What I was wasn't real.

I had dreams, dreams that left me sweating and gasping. Once I'd realized what I'd dreamt I…I cried. Sometimes I couldn't look Jace in the eye the next day.

I started to hate myself, my appearance. I didn't want anyone to look at me, I didn't want anyone to see me. If they saw me they might know what I was. How _disgusting _I was. How…how _dirty_ I felt. I felt like the most awful thing in the world, and the ugliest.

Because I wanted to be invisible I made myself ugly, and I felt ugly. My face, my hair, my clothes, my body. That only reassured that not only Jace wouldn't like me, but that no one ever would.

I cut myself where no one could see.

* * *

Magnus thumbed his thigh, eyes downcast and serious. Alec swallowed.

* * *

Then when I figured out no one would care if they _did_ see, I cut my wrists. I was a coward. I could never press down hard enough to kill myself, to end my stupid, pointless life. I stopped looking in the mirror because every time I did, I fought the urge to vomit.

I've starved myself, cut myself, mutilated my body and then healed it with my stele so no one would see. I stayed up for days, slept for days, tried everything to escape and get away except mundane drugs. I spent the majority of my time in the library with Hodge, silent, or alone and still silent. I huddled in a corner in the fetal position and cried for hours, wishing I was anyone but ugly, stupid, awkward, bitchy, pissy, queer Alec Lightwood.

Mag, please don't look at me like that.

Then I met you. The second I saw you I knew something was going to happen. Good or bad. But I saw how you were looking at me, and no one had ever looked at me like that before. I didn't really know what it was, but I'd never seen it before.

I went home, thinking about you, trying to get you out of my head. I didn't understand why I couldn't, and that pissed me off. _You_ pissed me off. I'd had this thing with Jace that was working perfectly, or, just like I wanted it to. You were making it real. You were making what I was real. I was losing Jace to some bitch that came in off the streets and every time I saw you, you looked at me like that.

I wanted to die because I didn't know who I was, and whoever I was, I didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to be the gay Shadowhunter that everyone talked about. I didn't want my parents to look at me with disappointment, or even disgust. I was sure they'd treat me differently, and I didn't want them to have to deal with what might come with it from everyone else. I didn't want to be the guy that was dating a Downworlder, and one that everyone knew.

I was scared to be with you, that's why I broke it off like I did. I was stupid, and blind and, like I said, I didn't want what I was to be real. I still wanted it to be a fantasy.

* * *

"What changed your mind?" Magnus asked softly. Alec didn't meet his eyes, flushing deeply.

* * *

I fell in love.

I couldn't get you out of my head. Your eyes followed me wherever I went. Every time I blinked I saw them. I smelled you, I felt you no matter what I did. I craved you, I needed you. And now…now I have you whenever I want and I nowhere near deserve you. Not your love, or how much you care about me. But I love you. I love you more than life itself.

* * *

Magnus looked at him for a moment. Alec's eyes didn't meet his for a long time. He stayed where he was, hands clasped in his lap, cheeks pink from embarrassment.

"Hey," the warlock said, lifting his chin. "You don't still..?"

Alec shook his head. "Absolutely not. I want to live for you. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life and I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Magnus caught Alec's lips in his own, kissing him softly, gently cradling his cheeks. He smiled at him, fingers in his hair.

"You're turn," Alec squeaked, a deep fuchsia color. "You, you should keep going."

"Alright," he smiled. He kissed him again, ducking under his chin to kiss his neck. Somehow, the boy blushed deeper. Magnus's grin grew. "There's my Alexander," he giggled.

He waved his hand, taking the shield away from Adriana. "Alright, we're finished." She turned around, scooping Chairman Meow into her arms. She petted his head, smiling pleasantly at the two of them.

"Everything alright, boys?" She asked.

"Yeah," Alec nodded. Magnus frowned, crossing his arms.

"Who the hell are you calling 'boy'?" He challenged. Alec held his arm, sighing.

"Please, just keep going. I don't want to listen to a cat fight."

All eyes turned to him. He blushed again.

Chairman Meow stood and strutted into the bathroom, offended.


	29. For My Next Trick

-Mild **Language **warning! Sorry (once again) that it took so long, guys. Hope you like this!-

29

**For My Next Trick…**

Alright, my turn again.

So, 1985; a great year for movies, music and clothing. Not such a great one for me, however.

I met a boy named Erin. He was shy, exponentially more than you, Alexander. I know, scary thought, isn't it? His hair was a deep auburn, eyes brown. He didn't talk much, so getting him to warm up to me was definitely a task. I seem to be a little too forward for some people's liking, right dear?

He was in a park the first time I met him, throwing crumbs to the pigeons. He had this tiny little smile on his face, his dimples deep in his cheeks. I watched him for a moment, just marveling at how adorable he was. He shook his hair out of his eyes, digging in the bag for more bread.

I sat beside him, understanding that I had to talk to this cutie. There was no way I was passing that up. How did I know he was gay? Oh, come _on_, Adriana, you don't honestly think that after over seven hundred years of being a homosexual that I can't spot one twenty miles away?

"Ya know, I think you're the youngest person that these birds have ever seen," I said, smiling at him. He looked at me; I chuckled.

"What?" He said.

"Nothing. I've just seen that look more times than I can count," I smiled.

"Well, you are a little bit of a shock," he said quietly. I looked down at my black nails, felt my hairspray-strewn hair on my back. Hey, it was the 80s, right?

"Aw, I'm not that scary, am I?" I teased. He glanced at me and shook his head a little.

"No. You look like you raided David Coverdale's wardrobe, though," he said quietly. I laughed.

"I'll give you that," I agreed. "So what's your name, cutie?" He blanched. I doubt anyone had one, talked to him outright like that, and two, had known he was gay in such a short amount of time.

"Um, um, Erin. My name's Erin," he stammered, still staring at me incredulously. I continued smiling at him. I'd anticipated this.

"I'm Magnus," I held out my hand. He took it, shaking it.

"Nice to meet you," he said. I knew he was embarrassed, but if he wanted to leave, he would have already. "So, are you from around here?"

"Mmhm," he nodded. "Lived here my whole life. Are you from New York City, or Manhattan, somewhere..?"

I smirked. "Where strange people like me seem to be everywhere?" He bit his lip, nodding. "As a matter of fact I am. I've been all over this state, actually."

"So what made you move to Brooklyn?" He asked, curious. My smile spread.

"I'll only tell you if you'll have dinner with me tonight." I didn't think his eyes could get any wider, yet they did.

"Uh, um, dinner? With you?" He blubbered.

"Yes," I nodded, grinning. "Unless you think I'm far too bizarre to go to dinner with." I cocked my brow at him, waiting. "Or possibly not attractive enough, but I highly doubt that."

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes shining. He'd never taken a risk like this before, I could tell by looking at him. "How, how do I know that you're not some kind of creep?"

"Am I making you uneasy?" I asked, never breaking eye-contact. He swallowed.

"Not, not in that way," he admitted.

"Then I suppose I'm not that big of a creep, am I?" I asked softly. He shook his head.

"No, no I guess not."

I smiled. "Alright. Meet me here at seven tonight?" A quick nod.

"Okay."

He was incredibly cute, but not the cutest boy I'd ever met. Pretty close though. I couldn't lose him in a crowd if I wanted to. That vibrant color filled your eyes, blinding you from everything else. His voice was so quiet and soft. Sometimes I wondered what it sounded like if he yelled. It wouldn't surprise me if it was the volume of a normal person's speaking voice.

The first time I kissed him was definitely memorable.

"Well that was interesting," he sighed, shaking his head.

"Which part?" I asked. "The part where that guy spit at you or that part where I punched him in the face?" He laughed with me.

"Thanks for that, by the way," he mumbled, blushing.

"No problem."

We walked in silence for a moment, just walking. "Hey, Erin?" I stopped. He looked up at me. I touched his face, gently holding his cheek. He paled, staring at me. He was scared, but he didn't pull away. I leaned toward him, shutting my eyes.

He gave the tiniest squeak when I kissed him, and I stifled a giggle. I buried my fingers in that sea of red, holding him close to me. God, it'd been so long since I'd held someone like this, held someone and really meant it. He was soft and small in my hands, molding to my lips no matter what I did.

He gasped when we broke apart, staring at me with those big eyes. For a moment I thought I'd done something wrong.

"Erin, I'm sorry, I-"

He jumped, wrapping his arms around my neck and crushing our lips together, fingers tangling in my hair. I stumbled back, unsure for a moment if I should respond. I hugged him back, parting his lips with my tongue, snaking my way through. He moaned a little, gasping and clutching me tighter.

"Eager?" I chuckled. He didn't answer. He kissed me over and over again, never letting me go for even a moment. I smiled. I knew he had a side like this, it just took a little pushing to get it to come out. No pun intended.

What? I'm allowed to make a joke.

Anyway, we were together for several months. He was quiet, I was loud, he was short, I was tall, I was confident, he was shy. Perfect fit, don't you think? For the first time in a very, very long time I was happy. I didn't feel like such a freak of nature. I didn't feel like I deserved to be beaten to death. I had someone to live for that wasn't eight inches tall and covered in white fur.

Not that I mind, right kitty?

Everything was so perfect, and nothing could mess that up. He wondered what I did for a living and I told him I was in sales. That's all he really needed to know, right? Oh, Alexander, I didn't want to scare the poor thing. If you recall, the last guy that I told about my powers was brutally murdered. Exactly. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't say a damn thing about it for fear of his safety. Though it came back to bite me in the ass anyway.

We were taking a walk, coming back from dinner, just enjoying each other's company, talking about the movies that had come out recently, mainly that Molly Rignwald's career would be limited to this decade.

Yes, Adriana, I definitely predicted that one.

So we cut through a side street to get home quicker, still babbling away. And, not for the first or the second time, we were jumped.

There were maybe half a dozen of them, all the usual type to do this sort of thing. They snatched Erin out of my arms before grabbing me, holding me back, punching me to get me to stop fighting. Erin, being as gentle as he was, didn't fight at all. He hid his face, crying out as they hit him, flinching away and squirming a little.

"Is that the best you can do?" I chuckled, staring up at the boy striking me. He hit me again. I laughed. "Ooh, harder." Another punch. "Mm, yeah, just like that. I _like_ it like that."

He kicked me in the gut. Despite my lack of air, I continued laughing. "Such a, pathetic attempt, isn't it?" I gasped. "You'd think, you guys would, have something better, to do."

I wanted their attention on me. If they were angry at me they'd leave Erin alone. And it worked for the most part.

"You diseased faggot!" He punched me hard, leaving blood in my mouth. I grinned.

"Diseased, eh?" I challenged. "Well, why don't you tell me what AIDS is like?" I spit the blood in his face, smiling when he screamed. "Now who's the diseased faggot?"

They didn't like that much. But at least they weren't beating Erin. He watched his large eyes riddled with tears.

"It's alright, Erin," I assured. "They're just closet cases that can only get off this way, right boys?" They didn't like that either. They continued purpling my face and ribs, and with enthusiasm no less. It's so hard to get young people motivated nowadays.

I'm trying to lighten the mood, you two. Goodness, no need to be so uptight all the time.

It took awhile before they realized that hurting Erin got a rise out of me. I didn't react to them hitting me, and that annoyed them. But the second they touched Erin I was certainly angry. Hearing that little voice yelp and cry was enough to tear your heart out with a rusted spoon. It should be illegal.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I roared. They grinned and continued punching his ribs. He was gagging and crying, scared out of his mind. "STOP IT!"

They didn't, of course. I didn't really expect them to, I don't think. The way they were carrying on, and as hard as they were hitting him, they were going to kill him. They showed no signs of letting up, or letting him catch his breath for that matter.

"MAGNUS!" He begged. That's what did it for me. I didn't have a choice now. It was either he find out about my powers, or he died.

I shut my eyes for a moment, muttering softly to myself, so quiet the others couldn't hear me. I heard him grunting as one boy backhanded him mercilessly over and over again.

"Ow!"

The two holding me let go, my skin red hot under their touch. Before they could react I threw my hand out, throwing a bolt of blue light into the man hitting Erin's back. He screamed and crumpled to the floor in a heap. I did the same to the other two, shooting the light at their feet, making them not only let Erin go, but run away in fear.

I turned to Erin when they were gone. He stared back at me, pale, nose and mouth bleeding, cuts on his cheek and eye. His eyes were wide and scared. "Erin, are you alright?" He barely had time to shake his head before he collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

I sighed, shaking my head. I snapped, healing myself in an instant. It wasn't so easy to do that to a mundane. I scooped him into my arms, waving my hand, sending us to my apartment. I carefully laid him on the couch, doing my best not to hurt him. Chairman Meow trotted into the room, hopping on the couch to inspect him. He looked at him, then up at me.

"Yes, it happened again," I said. The cat's head fell, shaking a little. He lapped at Erin's fingertips for a moment before resting next to him, as if to protect him. I took a bottle from my kitchen, kneeling beside the wounded boy. I gently tipped it into his mouth, supporting his head so he could swallow. It only took a moment for the cuts and bruises to fade away to nothing, leaving only the blood. His breathing was normal again and he didn't look quite so uncomfortable.

"Shh," I soothed, not knowing or really caring if he could hear me. "I'm here, I'm here, Erin. Shh…" I rubbed his forehead for a moment before standing and going into the bathroom. I came back with a wet cloth and cleaned the blood from his face. I thought I'd have to do some serious explaining when he woke up, that he'd definitely want me to tell him what the hell happened back there. I wasn't entirely wrong.

He woke up the next morning, eyes fluttering open slowly.

"Hey," I smiled, holding his hand. "Are you alright?"

The second I came into focus he jerked his hand away, horrified. He jumped off the couch, staring at me like I was some monster from the Grimm works. I stood.

"Erin, it's alright. It's me," I assured.

"Stay away from me!" He exclaimed, backing away as I walked toward him. He touched his recently healed face. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?" He screamed. Now I knew what it sounded like when he yelled, and I hated that sound.

"Nothing!" I said, eyes pained. "I didn't do anything to hurt you, I swear. Erin, I-"

"NO!" He glared at me, furious, cold, merciless. "No, you stay away from me, you _FREAK_!" I flinched as if he'd hit me. Alec, don't look all guilty, that was forgiven a long time ago. "You're a monster and a freak and if you come near me I'll kill you!"

Chairman Meow hissed. Erin ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

And that was it. My first shot at love in sixty years and it literally ran out of the door. He tore my heart in pieces and stepped on them as he ran out without caring.

I shook my head, angry. I broke vases and potions, my mirror. I flung my arm, slicing the couch and the throw pillows open. My fireplace roared, tongues of flame attacking the drapes and the rug, setting them ablaze and eating them alive. My windows shattered as I yelled, light bulbs bursting with light. The speakers blew out in my radio. The TV zapped and sparked until it was a hollow shell of wires and broken glass.

My apartment was in utter shambles when I stopped. I was on my knees, chest heaving, sobbing angrily. All I'd done was tried to save his life. That's all…and he'd thrown everything we had away…

Chairman Meow nuzzled his face in my knee, looking up at me with sad eyes. "No more," I breathed. "It's just you and me from now on, got it?" He gave his little nod and sat beside me.

I had given up on love, on feeling for someone else. I didn't need anyone else to be happy. I was fine on my own. Screw love, screw the pain and awful, horrendous pains inside me. Fuck it. I was done with it, and ready to take this city into my hands, as it should have been from the moment I arrived.

-Poor Mag... More soon!-


	30. Magnificent

30

**Magnificent**

It took awhile before I really did anything again. I drank, mostly. Blocks out the pain, ya know?

I didn't think much about anything, I didn't do anything and I hardly spoke. Three years of that. In retrospect to mundanes and mortals, that was about six months.

I got wind of this "fantastical" High Warlock. I'd heard of him before, as I mentioned, and the more I heard about him, the more he made me laugh. All he could really do was parlor tricks. He was only three hundred and eighty-eight, and weighed that much as well. He was more of a snake-oil salesman than a warlock. And I couldn't believe the Clave accepted that. But, then again, anything that wasn't a threat to them was always better, now wasn't it?

One day I stalked to the bar where the "High Warlock" spent his afternoons, planning on showing him and everyone else there who was the fairest of them all, so to speak. The-

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone!" Adriana said, expression serious. "Are you kidding me? You save that ungrateful brat's life and he just walks away after calling you those nasty names?"

"Yes, Adriana, that's what happened," Magnus said dryly.

Alec was shaking his head. "I'm going to find that redheaded asshole and punch him." Magnus shook his head.

"He won't know why you did even if you told him," He mumbled. Alec frowned.

"Why?"

"Because. The second he walked out of my house I erased his memory of us. He remembered the months as if he'd spent them alone. He would have no idea who I was." He was looking at his hands. "I really did care about him. I thought that I might not screw this one up. I thought that it would last for a long time. I poured my heart out to him, and I hadn't done that for decades…" His voice died away, breaking a little. "I locked my heart away, deep, deep inside me where no one could get to me. I put up walls a mile high and three leagues thick. No one person was going to do that to me again."

Alec moved toward him, holding his face and guiding him to his lips. "You're right," he whispered. "No one's going to do that to you again." Magnus smiled a little, combing his fingers through the boy's hair. "So, the 'High Warlock'?"

"Right."

* * *

The bar was dark, filled with vampires who flinched and hissed when the sunlight poured through. I looked around, indifferent, eyes hard, hands glowing to let me see the others around me better. No one moved, everyone simply stared at me. "I'm looking for the one they call High Warlock around here."

A portly man stood, wearing the cheesiest purple suit I think I'd ever seen. I looked at him incredulously. Surely this couldn't be the man in charge of all the warlocks in such a vast area. I stared at him incredulously, smirking.

"And who are you?" He asked, smug, haughty. I chuckled.

"I'm your replacement."

"Oh, are you?" He chortled. "Look, sonny, as adorable as this little tirade is, you should scurry back to school before you get yourself hurt." I didn't move. I laughed again.

"I'm four-hundred years older than you, _sonny_. And I'm eight times as qualified for this job. So why don't you scurry back to that hovel you call your home before you get yourself hurt?" I said, daring him, challenging him. He glowered at me for a second before he smirked again.

"So…you want to play?" He smiled. "Fine, I'll make quick work of this."

"So will I." I twirled my index finger. A second later, before he could even move, he was hopping and croaking on the floor. I smiled. I looked up at one of the other warlocks and flicked my wrist, sending the toad into his hands. "Keep him in a jar, alright?" I looked around the bar. "Obviously we're under new management. Any problems or needs of yours can be handled by me. And I know, my fee is high, but I can get the job done in a fourth of the time that that Neanderthal could have. I'm Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Anyone apposed?"

No one moved. They simply stared in wonder and shock. "Good. Wouldn't want you _all_ to be amphibians, would we?"

I turned and left without another word. That was the only announcement I needed to make. It would spread like wildfire soon enough until it reached the ears of the Clave.

And boy, once it did…

I was sitting, minding my own business, winding down after a particularly long day when my door literally burst open. It fell to the floor, completely knocked off its hinges. I stood, hands sparking to life. Chairman darted under the couch so as not to be seen, although I'm not all that sure why. Silly creature.

Three Shadhowhunters came in, armed to the teeth. I lowered my hands, letting the sparks and the fire die away.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" I asked, smiling politely. The severe looking man at the front stepped forward, stele in hand.

_Oh, God, this is it,_ I thought. _They finally heard about the jokes I've made about steles and where they can shove them and now they'll kill me for it._

But, of course, this was all about the coup d'état that happened out of nowhere a few days ago.

"Magnus Bane?" The man said.

"The one and only," I smirked. He didn't react.

"We need you to come with us," he said, stepping closer to me.

"And where would we be going?" I asked, still calm. "Should I pack?" He still wasn't amused.

"We're taking you to Idris. The Inquisitor wants a word with you." The other two were coming toward me as well.

"Am I under arrest?" I asked, staring at the cuffs in their hands.

"For the moment, yes."

I sighed.

I was led to Alicante in handcuffs made from an alloy that wouldn't allow me to use my powers on Shadowhunters. Or, at least they thought so. I guess they weren't used to a warlock this powerful because I could have shattered those stupid things in a second. I chose not to, however, because of the hundreds of Nephilim around me that were willing to kill a warlock in a hot second. So I waited and walked where they told me to, hoping I wouldn't have to stay in the prison if this took too long. That place is just awful…

They dragged me in front of the Inquisitor. I looked around at the stern faces around me, smirking.

"Well, isn't everyone chipper today?" No one moved. I chuckled. "Right. Nephilim don't have much of a sense of humor, do they?" Still nothing.

"State your name," the Inquisitor demanded.

"Don't you already know that?"

"State. Your. Name," she growled.

"Ooh, so testy. Magnus Bane. Or Magnus the Magnificent, whichever you prefer."

"You'd better watch your tone, Mr. Bane. This is a serious matter."

"Well, until someone tells me what the matter is that needs to be taken so seriously I'll stick with the sarcasm," I smirked. She glared at me, eyes icy and hard.

"How is it that you simply waltzed into a bar and declared yourself High Warlock in the matter of five minutes?" She asked. I chuckled.

"Simple," I said, twisting my wrists in the cuffs. "I walked in, told the little toadie he needed to step down and when he decided to play the tough guy I showed him why I was more qualified."

"And what exactly did you do to him?" She hissed. My smirk came back.

"I turned him into what he really was. A toad. He's now sitting in a jar in one of his comrades homes," I said simply. "Now, it's not like you have to have a permit to take over the High Warlock position, so what is this all about?"

"The fact that we know nothing about you and now you have a serious position of power. Usually, when a High Warlock is replaced-"

"The warlock before is usually dead or there are decades worth of fighting before there is a definite winner and I took the position not only in one day without warning, but in the matter of five minutes. Right," I sighed.

"What made you want the position?"

"I'm not about to be bossed around by someone less powerful than I am," I retorted.

"Are you more powerful than him or just quicker to the draw?" A crowd member challenged.

"I am far more powerful than him. I'm also much older and much smarter. But if you all wanted that Muppet to remain there so you could control him and make sure that everything goes to your plan you'd better get over it."

There was a ripple of muttering through the crowd. The Inquisitor glared at me, her sharp face even sharper, seething. I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I just don't appreciate being accused of…well, what are you accusing me of?"

"We aren't accusing you of anything, Mr. Bane. We're only wondering what your intentions are."

"So you're accusing me of things I might do later?" She simply stared at me. "Well, my intentions are to be in charge and keep the Downworlders from killing each other. If you haven't noticed the wolves and vampires in Manhattan are a little violent with each other. I'm trying to create civilized bloodshed," I explained.

"Who are you?" She said, shaking her head.

"I'm Magnus Bane. I'm over eight hundred years old and have more power in my little finger than any other warlock has in their entire body. I'm also the best ally you can have," I said. "So, I think we should talk on more civilized terms, Madame Inquisitor, and let me out of these cuffs before I take them off," I said, looking up at her through my lashes.

Her frown deepened. "Mr. Bane, you and I both know you can't get out of those." I smirked and snapped my fingers. The cuffs fell to the floor with a loud CLANG.

The court gasped aloud. I looked around at them, holding my hands up so they could see I wasn't going to do anything. Seraph blades were drawn anyway.

"My point, Madame Inquisitor," I said, bowing. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me.

"Mr. Bane, I'm going to need you to stay in Idris for the time being," she stated. I frowned.

"I'm not staying in the prison, if that's what you're getting at," I growled. She shook her head.

"No, absolutely not. Find somewhere to stay in the city. If you leave, however, it'll be a different story."

It was a strange situation. All of us were wary of each other, each waiting for what we feared most to happen. I spent two whole weeks in that city explaining and defending myself before they accepted it.

"Alright, Mr. Bane, we'll be in touch."

I stood and walked out, stepping out into a dark hallway. When I rounded the corner I was slammed against the stone wall behind me. I shook my head, focusing on the young man pinning me. His white hair was unbelievably bright, even in this darkness. The snarl on his face and the Seraph blade at my neck took away from any thoughts as to how cute he was.

"_What the hell is a thing like you doing here_?" He growled. I chuckled, ignoring the sizzling of the skin on my collarbone.

"What are you going to do, little one?" I mocked. "Are you going to kill me right here in the hall? It takes a lot to kill someone, you know."

"You're a thing, not a someone," he snapped.

"Valentine, what are you doing?" I looked over his shoulder at the young redhead behind us, and others were coming.

"Goodness, so many young people coming to see what you're up to, Valentine," I smiled.

Another woman came down the stairs, pale, jet black hair and a prominent bulge in her stomach.

* * *

"M-my mom?" Alec stammered. Magnus smiled, tickling under his chin.

"Yes, darling. I knew you when you were just a little fetus," he smiled. "Though I didn't think that dumbfounded young woman would_ ever_ be of any use to me…"

Adriana laughed.

* * *

Right, so, knife at throat, angsty teenager trying to kill me.

"It's a warlock! He just looks human," Valentine growled. I laughed.

"This is just too cute."

"Shut up!" He pressed the knife down harder.

"Ooh, ow, stop, it hurts," I mocked.

"Valentine, stop!" A boy that you would know as Hodge, Alexander, said, rushing to us, followed by Luke, who was wide-eyed.

"Valentine!" Jocelyn barked. Luke glanced back at her.

"_It's a warlock_!" Valentine snarled. Hodge was yanking on his arm.

"He's a _High_ warlock, Valentine!" He exclaimed.

I laughed, never looking away from Valentine's jet black eyes. "Well come on, _Shadowhunter_, show me what you're made of. You think you can kill me, do it. I dare you."

He lunged, leaning back just enough so Hodge and Luke could grab him and pull him off of me.

I laughed, stepping away from the wall. "You'd better be thanking your friends. You almost ruined your life, sweetheart." I walked down the hall, pausing to look at Maryse. "It's a boy."

She simply stared. I went down the hall without looking back, whistling "Renegade" as I did so.

…

Alec, we are going to _have_ to get you educated musically.


	31. Written in the Stars

31

**Written in the Stars**

I know what you're thinking, my love, and you're right. The Uprising is the next stop in this little tale.

I remember that day. I was in Idris getting some supplies and consulting a few other warlocks as to how to deal with the pesky faeries meddling in their herb gardens. A few strands of daisy chains and some horse shoes does the trick every time, in case you were wondering.

I remember being in the Hall, ready to seal this deal and get the hell out of this city. A little too celestial for my liking, if you know what I mean. Everything became still, eerily still. Not in the room, but around the room, outside. The birds stopped, the wind ceased to blow. I could _feel_ something awful about to happen. I couldn't explain it to anyone, I don't think I'll ever be able to. "Something's wrong," I whispered. The Inquisitor looked at me, the only one that had heard my comment in this vast crowd.

That's when it happened. A hole burst through the roof, the doors flew open and…and there they were. God, they were so young, storming at us. They started a war.

At first we weren't sure what to do; we simply stared in horror at the army coming at us. As soon as I saw that boy, that one with the white hair that had tried to kill me a few years prior I understood what this was. His hatred spilling over.

The one called Lucian was nowhere to be seen, strangely enough. He seemed to be Valentine's lapdog. Um…no pun intended there. I didn't see that redhead of his either.

But I saw everyone else I had seen that day. Your mother, your father, the Herondale's and Hodge. All of the initial destruction seemed to happen in slow motion.

I looked around at the creatures surrounding me, all staring, mouths agape. "FIGHT THEM, YOU IDIOTS!" I bellowed, breaking everyone from the spell.

So much blood. Such pain and agony there. I heard screams and shrieks. I saw Nephilim and Downworlders fall in bloodied heaps on the ground. Spells, fur, fangs and Seraph blades flew everywhere, accompanied by that gleaming crimson.

I shot at anything with a snarl and Marks. I gave Hodge that nasty wound on his shoulder, actually. I still sort of feel bad for that, though I don't really know why. I received cuts and burns from Shadowhunter weapons but I couldn't feel them then. My only worry was to keep Idris and Alicante from falling to this awful thing. I wondered where the hell that redhead was. She always seemed to keep that tyrant in check…

I knew the dark-haired girl had a baby. A boy not more than two years old. Why in God's name were they throwing their lives away like this with a _child_ at home?

My thoughts cost me another scar. It grew to the point where we didn't know where anything was, we were just fighting. The smoke made it impossible to see, the screaming and yelling made it impossible to hear.

I fell to my knees at one point, looking around at the carnage around me, at the lives need not lost everywhere. I was so tired of the fighting…

"Enough."

I jumped up, hands blazing, floating above the entire party. I was told later that my eyes were glowing with blue fire, entire body engulfed in the flames.

"ENOUGH!" I let out a burst of energy that floored everyone. The waves struck the ground, making it look as if an explosion went off in the surrounding area. Everyone was on the ground, dead or alive. I vaguely remember seeing a retreating figure in the distance, one with white hair. Damned coward…

I fell to the ground, completely spent. I blacked out seconds later. The fighting didn't stop once I'd passed out, but without that little distraction we very well may have lost.

When I woke up my entire body was sore. The room I was in was bright, the soot and grime gone from my skin, bandages on my wounds. I think the infirmary was one of the few buildings that survived the onslaught.

I sat up, dizzy, looking around for my clothes.

"Ah, ah, ah, lie back down." Hands on my shoulders that I quickly shoved away.

"My clothes," I rasped.

"Mr. Bane, I-"

"NOW!" I snarled. She jumped back, frightened. "What happened?" The woman sighed, handing me the pile of leather that I called clothes.

"We won, barely. Valentine's dead….and so is his family. We lost so many…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

I stood, body wracked with agony, but I hardly had time for it. "Where is everyone?" I asked softly.

"At the trials of the survivors," she said. She seemed to be in shock. "They'll take forever…they were so young. Why would they do this to us?"

I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could, ignoring the pain and her as much as I could. I nearly ran back to what was left of the hall, wanting to see just who was left, who had died, who I needed to kill for this madness.

I knew the boy that had cornered me that day was dangerous, but I never thought he'd be so bold as to start a civil war, even if it only lasted a little while. In fact, I had no idea how long I'd been unconscious, and I didn't care. All I wanted was to know what the hell was going on.

The room was far less crowded than it should have been. God, where all of these Shadowhunters really gone?

There was a child crying, two young people on the stand being questioned vigorously by the Inquisitor.

I looked around, trying to see what baby was making all of this noise.

A little boy was standing in the corner, tears streaking down his pale face, blue eyes bright, dark curls surrounding his cheeks. He couldn't have been more than three, and from looking at the two people being questioned, I knew where his parents were.

I bent down, lifting the child into my arms. "Come here, sweetheart," I said gently. "Shh…"

"Mommy," he cried, pointing at her.

"She'll be here in a minute," I assured. "Don't worry, darling, your Mommy will be here soon." He hugged me, sniffling, tired. "Shh," I bounced him lightly. "Shh, I've got you."

* * *

Alec sat there for a moment, wracking his brain for those earlier memories, too early for most to even acknowledge. All he saw, all he could dig up, was a vague, blurred image of green eyes and the faint smell of gunpowder.

Adriana was grinning. "That's just adorable," she said, giggling. Magnus smiled, blushing a little, staring at his hands.

"So…so you held me while my mom and dad were on trial after the Uprising?" Alec asked. Magnus nodded, still not looking at him.

"I know, it's really weird," he chuckled.

"Kind of, yeah," Alec admitted. "Why didn't you mention this before?" Magnus shrugged.

"It wasn't all that relevant to you, and it certainly never came up in conversation." He smiled softly to himself. "I didn't think that that sweet little boy would be…well, you." He pulled Alec into his lap, holding him tightly. Alec smiled softly, nuzzling against his neck. "And you're just as cute and cuddly now as you were then."

* * *

I sat down, listening to the intense questioning, looking around at all of the beaten and bedraggled bunch that was once the Nephilim. It truly was awful, the carnage, the death, the hopelessness they all felt. It hung over the room like a bad omen. No one trusted anyone at the moment, and from their eyes I could tell they wanted each and every one of the survivors of The Circle to suffer the ultimate penalty.

I gently rocked the child back and forth, rubbing his forehead out of reflex. It didn't take long for the sweet little thing to pass right out, his head lolling against my chest.

"It is clear, Mrs. Lightwood, that you and your husband both played a great role in this attack," The Inquisitor continued. "I hereby sentence you to thirty years in the Alicante prison-"

"NO!" Maryse screamed, the first time she had really spoke throughout this whole ordeal. "Please, I have a baby!" Robert grabbed her arm, looking just as heartbroken –silently, of course, you Nephilim have such an issue with emotions- and pulled her back to her seat.

"Maryse, it's done. You knew this-"

"Please, I beg of you, please don't make me leave my son."

I've never seen Maryse cry except for this single instance. But she was crying, her voice raw, her eyes begging with all her heart to spare her son a life without his parents. "I cannot leave him. Who will take care of my baby? Please-"

I stood, holding the sleeping baby. "Madame Inquisitor!" The audience turned to me, eyes flashing between me and the boy. "While I understand that what has befallen this city was a tragedy. Hundreds of your friends and families are dead, I get that. But please, look at this child." I looked down at him. "There are already so many children without parents. Do we want to add him to this list because of the mistakes his parents made, parents who have only just grown out of being babies themselves?"

There was a murmur that rushed through the crowd. I didn't look away from the Inquisitor. She looked at me, then the baby, and back again. She turned to Maryse and Robert.

"This is your son?" She asked. Maryse nodded, longing in her eyes as she stared at Alec.

"Yes, that's my son. His name is Alexander, he's three years old. Please…"

Long story short, the Lightwood's were put on a lifetime's worth of probation, Hodge was sent to the Institute to live out the rest of his days and little Alec, Isabelle and Max had their parents around –for the most part- to raise them.

* * *

"I just realized," Adriana began. "This story's almost over, isn't it?"

Magnus squeezed Alec's hand, smiling at his friend.

"Not yet."


	32. Magical Persuasions

32

**Magical Persuasions**

I left Idris as quickly as I could after that. I was quite tired of being around Nephilim twenty-four/seven. It does wear on one's bad nature to do so for so long.

I arrived back in Brooklyn, reinstated myself as supreme ruler of their pathetic little lives, went on a manhunt for my stupid cat –that's right, _you_, you Satanic, demonic little…- moved into a new apartment, and went about my business once more. I ignored the visits your mother tried to pay me, hopefully instilling in her that I wanted nothing to do with her. Yes, I helped her keep her son and kept her out of that godforsaken prison, but that didn't mean I wanted to be pals. It was bad for business. No, she wasn't nice at all, she wanted to use me for information on other Downworlders, and I wasn't about to be some little lapdog for the Clave.

As if. Anyway, so, pillaging, plundering, tricking Mundanes out of their money, leaving horseshoes in gardens for the Fae to run away from and keeping the vampires from killing the werewolves and vice versa: what I did throughout the nineties.

I threw parties for no reason. It helped me build my clientele, yes, but other than that I really had no purpose for it. I suppose I was lonely. A tiny cat only offers so much comfort, and I hadn't been around a person that gave a damn, hell, one that would spit on me if I was on fire for quite some time.

Then one night, one dark, rainy, dreary Brooklyn evening, I saw movement outside my window. Upon looking I saw a woman running with a bundle in her arms toward my house. I stalked down the stairs, ready to shoo her away for asking for a favor at such an inopportune time. How was it inopportune? Um, Seinfeld, dear, that's what was inopportune. What's Sein…? I've lost my faith in you, darling.

When I opened the door a woman stood on the steps, a child in her arms. I glared at her, knowing precisely who she was on sight. Jocelyn Fairchild, Valentine's supposedly dead wife. Her wife, their child.

"Magnus Bane?" She asked. I continued to stare her down.

"Don't act like you don't recognize me, woman," I barked. "I know who you are, you know who I am. Why you would _dare_ to come to my doorstep leads me to believe you're suicidal, actually, and if you think that infant will save you, you're quite wrong. You can hand children over to police stations, you know," I said pointedly, hands aglow.

"Wait!" She said, horrified. "Just wait, please, let me explain what happened. You don't know what really happened, please!" I paused, just for a moment. "Let me tell you what really happened. If you don't believe me after that then you can go ahead and kill me. But please, for her sake," she offered the toddler to me, "just let me explain."

I allowed her inside, at least getting her and the baby out of the cold. She set her on the floor, allowing her to roam around my apartment.

She held bottles she shouldn't, knocked my CD tower over and tugged on Chairman Meow's tail.

* * *

From across the room, the cat hissed at the memory, claws digging into the couch. Magnus tickled under his chin. "Yes, she was a little hellion, wasn't she?"

Alec smiled.

* * *

While she was terrorizing my poor kitty –who promptly scratched her for daring to touch him; good lord she screeched like a damn banshee and her mother didn't appreciate me asking if she _was_ a banshee, but oh well- Jocelyn told me all about what had happened before.

She told me all about the demon blood and the angel blood Valentine had infected her with, how her son was dead because of him and all of the awful things Valentine had done while they were married. She went on to explain that she fled to live as a mundane with a baby on the way. Clarissa Fray, the child playing with a ball I'd materialized for her. "She has The Sight," she explained. "She's been playing with the faeries floating around the bushes, giggling at brownies in alleys. I…I can't have her see them. She'll never be able to stay away from that life. I…I need your help, Magnus."

I glared at her. I believed her about Valentine, but I wasn't sure if I forgave her enough to do her a favor. And if I would have understood that that baby would grow to be the stupid ginger that got us in that mess a few months ago I might have killed the soulless thing then and there.

* * *

"Wait a second," Alec said. "If Clary wouldn't have gotten us into that crap we wouldn't have ever met…ya know, in this decade."

Magnus sighed, thumbing his chin. "Then I suppose I should thank the little twit sometime."

"Is she really that bad?" Adriana asked, laughing a little.

"She's just annoying in that 'what? Did that hurt your feelings when I said that so blatantly?' kind of way. Says the wrong thing at the wrong time, clumsy, naïve to normal human behavior, ya know, a dumb teenage girl," Magnus explained.

"Ah," she nodded. Alec laughed.

"The sad part is, that's all true." He shook his head.

"Your brother has the patience of a saint," Magnus said.

"No," Alec said, chuckling. "He's not smart enough to see how annoying she is."

"That explains it."

* * *

Anyway, despite that she was useful to me later –that seems to happen a lot when it comes to us, Alexander-, I didn't want to help Jocelyn or her little problem.

"Find someone else," I said, turning away from her. "I wont tell anyone about you, but I'm not about to help you."

"I just need to know if there's a way," she begged. "I need to know that _something_ can help her. I'll try to find someone else as long as you tell me there's a way."

"I'm not a pet you can call whenever it's useful to you," I growled. "When you and the rest of the Clave realizes this I might be a little more compliant."

"Magnus, I'm not asking as part of the Clave, I'm-"

"…A woman that was once part of an organization that wanted to exterminate me and everything like me. You may forgive and forget, Jocelyn, but my curse is I _never_ forget anything. What your husband-"

"He's not my husband anymore," she frowned.

"I don't care," I said breezily. "What they did, that group you were a part of, may have happened a long time ago for you, but for me it might as well have been yesterday. I've lived a long time, Jocelyn, and I've learned that someone that will betray everything and everyone that they've been taught to protect will do it again. I can't trust you."

"I'm not asking you to trust me," she said. "I'm asking you to help my daughter."

"You really don't want her to have her Sight?" I asked. She nodded.

"If I was going to betray everyone again, why the hell would I take away what makes my daughter a Shadowhunter?"

I paused, considering her argument. It would be strange for her want to "cleanse" the Nephilim race and not raise her daughter as one…

I sighed, turning to look at her. "You understand my unease, don't you?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yes. I wouldn't trust me either," she agreed.

"I'm glad we're at an understanding." I bent down and lifted Clary up just in time for her to miss grabbing Chairman Meow again. I snapped my fingers, causing her to collapse, unconscious in an instant. "There. A freight train could come through and she wouldn't budge."

I set on her on the island, looking up at Jocelyn. "This could damage her mentally. This could leave her paralyzed or dead. Are you sure you want to risk this?"

"You only know one way?" I nodded. "There's no-"

"It's either this or she grows up with fairy boyfriends," I said bluntly. She sighed, looking at her with that love a parent had that I didn't quite understand.

"Do it."

After an hour of Jocelyn staring at me in worry and me mumbling in at least forty-eight different languages, going through loopholes I'd learned, a few tricks I'd picked up from demons and some special mixings of my own, I was sure that she wouldn't be able to see me if I were putting on the fireworks display in front of Buckingham palace in a tutu with Siegfried and Roy.

Alec, don't look at me like that. No, Adriana, I don't have- Don't make me kick you out of this house.

Thank you. Anyway, to test my theory that Clary's sight was gone, I woke her up.

The toddler looked around and sat up, smiling when she saw her mother, babbling in her little child language.

Jocelyn had her eyes on me, watching me as I waved my hand in front of her, made a few faces, and even spoke to her directly. "Hello, little one," I said, trying to gain her attention. She looked right past me. "Hey, Pippy, hello?" She didn't do anything. It was as if I wasn't even there.

I looked up at Jocelyn, "Satisfied?" I asked.

She nodded and took Clary off of the counter, wrapping her back in that blanket. "Thank you."

"Ahem," I held out my hand, looking at her expectantly. She sighed and dug out her wallet, throwing a few hundreds in my hand. I laughed. "Oh, darling, because it's you, it's doubled."

She glared at me and emptied her wallet.

"There we are. She'll need to come back every two years or she'll start seeing dragons again," I explained. She nodded.

"Are you going to let her wake up now?" She asked.

I laughed, "Not until she's out of my house. "

And for every two years after that I watched Clary grow up into her stupid, bumbling flat-chested self that we love so dearly.

Adriana, I am not mean, I just happen to be a little too brutally honest for most peoples liking. Except you, my love. That's right, you blush, you cute little thing, you.


	33. Sparks Fly

-Just to clarify, Ladies and gentlemen, as I have been accused of "Clary bashing" I would like to say: I do not, repeat do **NOT **hate Clary. I love Clary. Don't believe me? Check my profile page. Magnus gets irritated with a lot of people, Clary definitely included, which is why he talked about her that way when she acted stupid. So knock it off, folks, I dont appreciate it all that much. Thank you and enjoy the story. :D -

33

**Sparks Fly**

Clary and Jocelyn came to see me every two years, like clockwork. I didn't like being bothered by two Nephilim –even an unwitting one- but I did like to show off, which is exactly what I did every time she came to see me. I made her think I was a fat old woman with too many cats, a strange man with missing teeth that thought he was a pirate and a young woman like herself, gossipy and bubbly about boys and the like.

Yes, it was quite fun. Jocelyn didn't find it so amusing, but hey, what can you expect from a Shadowhunter?

I signed my name, seared it in her mind so that anyone that went lurking understood just what I was capable of. It was another show of power, daring someone, anyone to challenge me. Maybe someone would. Maybe someone would end my arrogance by force, and maybe end my empty, lonely life as well.

Alec, just wait one moment, dear.

I threw parties for people I hated and didn't care about. I fooled around with random people, but didn't sleep with any of them. My heart wasn't in it. My mind wasn't in it. I didn't want to deal with the emotional baggage sex offers. It may not present itself when it first happens, but you start to notice eventually.

One night, that little shit I call my cat decided to take off. On his birthday no less. So rude. I was sitting on my couch while some draeni yakked my ear off, so incredibly bored, listening to a fairy band I hated, part of me wishing the life –or afterlife- taking up space in my loft would simply go away.

The bell rang, causing a few vampires to hiss at the noise. Their sensitive ears tend to magnify sounds, especially when they're intoxicated. Try not to look so smug, Alexander. I sighed and stood, not bothering to take out my host face. I wasn't about to reward such tardiness with a smile that I didn't want to give.

I opened the door, and my breath was gone.

I looked at the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on, wanting to take him then and there. To hold him, to kiss him and never let him go. I just couldn't believe that this boy had shown up on my doorstep.

* * *

"You really thought Jace was that attractive?" Alec asked, uncomfortable, looking at the floor.

Magnus and Adriana looked at each other, trying not to laugh, incredulous that Alec was this oblivious. The warlock shook his head, sighing a little. He took his hand.

"Alec, I didn't notice your brother was even _there_ until he spoke," he said quietly, smiling gently at him. Alec looked back at him, unable to speak. "I was a little preoccupied…with you."

Adriana smiled, looking between the two.

* * *

I could only stare at you, hiding the shock and amazement that was threatening to overflow within me. You were so beautiful. The first time I laid eyes on those big blue eyes and that soft, pale skin will be seared in my mind forever. I wondered what those thick ebony locks would feel like in my fingers. Of course, my trance was broken when your sister spoke.

I remember leading you inside, wishing –not for the first time- that I had eyes in the back of my head to make sure you were real.

Clary gazed around my very trashed apartment –inconsiderate little punks- her young eyes wide, mouth agape. Silly child. I leaned against a pillar, keeping my eyes on you, watching your face as Jace sucked face with some girl. You looked angry, yes, but there was pain there. Agonizing pain. That's when I knew. I was pretty sure you were when I saw you, but that confirmed it. I didn't think I had a chance in hell with you, but it was a nice thought. And even if I did, I would have to beat out the golden, very straight boy. I accepted the challenge.

I tossed that pestering little vampire out and I made you laugh for the first time. I knew you and Jace had been the ones to put the holy water in the bike, and the way you admitted it was just too adorable.

I told Clary about what I did to her little mind to make her forget and then…

* * *

Alec took his hand, eyes serious, pressing his fingers to his lips. "Do you wanna know what I was thinking when I first saw you?" Magnus nodded, looking vulnerable.

* * *

It was hard not to look at you, Mag. I was shocked, just like everyone else at how…how different you were. But god, you were mesmerizing. I could smell your cologne from where I stood and I did everything not to make eye contact with you.

I thought you…I thought you were beautiful, Magnus. Not the way I looked at Jace, this was totally different, amazingly different. The first thing I noticed about you was your eyes. The way the light hit them, the way your pupils are shaped I just… I didn't know what to make of you. I tried to ignore you, even when we were in your room. But when I saw Jace was probably going to get himself in trouble with you I spoke up, and having you look at me made my heart pound so hard…

Then you talked about being different, and what your parents did to you and I thought…I don't know, I thought we'd be able to understand each other. But I was scared. You made me feel like I wanted to admit what I was, and I wasn't ready for that, and that made me angry.

"Call me," you said. God, I'd never been so embarrassed, and part of me wanted to ask you for your number, but I looked at Jace and I…I just couldn't.

* * *

"Alexander." He turned. Magnus brushed his lips against his cheek, holding the other side of his face before kissing him. "You don't have to be so guilty, love. I know." Alec stared at his hands, chewing his lower lip.

"I just know this part is going to make me feel awful for the things I've done to you," he mumbled. Magnus frowned.

"Hey," he snapped, grabbing his chin. "You didn't _do_ anything vindictive to me, darling. It's not your fault. You were new to this whole thing and you had to learn how to handle it on your own. And it did hurt in the process, it did," he cradled his face again. "but I'd go through it all again, a thousand times over if it meant I'd get you in the end." He hugged him, kissing his cheek.

* * *

I think I'll take over again, darling.

I didn't expect him to call me, Adriana; in fact, I didn't expect to ever see him again. I sighed when the door closed and jogged up the stairs.

My rude and very tardy kitty was sitting in the middle of the floor when I came back inside, looking at me expectantly. I glared at him.

"I don't appreciate you missing your own birthday party, you little shit," I snapped, picking him up. "I met a boy," I told him. "I doubt that I'll see him again, but I met him. He was incredibly cute. I think you would have liked him. I snapped my fingers, watching the apartment reassemble itself in moments. I went into my room, collapsing on my bed, sighing dreamily, remembering those big curious eyes.

I was dozing, thinking about his beautiful face when the door buzzed, snapping me out of my stupor. I felt anger flare through me as I stood, stalking toward the door.

"WHO DARES DISTURB MY REST?" I bellowed.

"Jace Wayland. Remember? I'm from the Clave."

I perked up a little. I hadn't bothered to learn the boy's name, but maybe…

"Are you the only with the blue eyes?"

Of course, it was your brother and that girl looking for their lost mundane. I talked to them, bored and indifferent to the both of them.

I closed the door and went back upstairs once more, nudging the cat back inside. "You see, this is what happens when one gets their hopes up," I told him. "You just feel disappointed."

The bell sounded again and I groaned, thundering down the stairs, wondering if I should just put an escalator in to save time and energy.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE THING, I'LL KILL-!" I ripped the door open and stopped short, my breath going. That same sweet, angelic boy was standing in front of me, looking shy and flustered. "Oh. I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," I said calmly, smiling a little. "What can I help you with?"

"I…I um… you told me to call you, but I don't have your number," he said shyly. I winked at him.

"Check your right pocket, darling." He blanched and did so, pulling out a small piece of paper. He blushed, though I could tell he didn't want to.

"Oh. I…I'm sorry," he said nervously. "I'll, um-"

"Wait," I said, stopping him. He looked at me. "What's your name?"

"Alec. Alec Lightwood," he said.

"Is that short for something?"

"Alexander," he nodded. I smiled.

"Alexander."


	34. Baby, You're a Firework

34

**Baby, You're a Firework**

Magnus smiled softly at Alec, squeezing his hand. "Well," he said, looking between him and Adriana. "I suppose that's it, isn't it?"

Adriana frowned. "Are you kidding?" She exclaimed. "No way. I wanna know how this happened." She gestured to the two of them, waving her hand. Alec blushed, looking down at the floor.

Magnus brightened. "It's even more magnificent than the rest of this shoddy tale," he assured, smiling incredibly wide. Alec blushed deeper.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, making him jump and dig it out while Magnus giggled. Alec looked at the screen and sighed, standing.

"I'll be right back." He opened it. "Mom?" He closed Magnus's bedroom door, disappearing in a conversation.

Adriana leaned forward, grinning. "Alright, Mag, tell me about you two. I wanna know _everything_, okay?" Magnus smiled.

"If you wish," he said breezily. His grin broadened. "This is my favorite part of this story, though."

"Then by all means," she grinned. He chuckled.

* * *

To be honest, nothing really interesting happened on our first few dates. He didn't talk much and I spent most of my time trying to make him blush. He smiled, he laughed and he never allowed us to go anywhere in public.

* * *

"What?" Adriana blanched.

* * *

Adriana, Alec was…well, he was terrified of himself. Of me. Of who he is. He thought being gay was some disease he couldn't get rid of. The society and people around him only fueled that fire. I think that's why he kept coming to see me. I don't think I made him feel that way. I think I was an outlet for frustrations he had for a long time.

The first time we kissed was pure magic. I even broke the lamppost above our heads. Oh, cease your giggling, woman.

He was so timid and shy around me. I literally did all of the talking when we were around each other, unless it was about the Clave or weaponry, which bores me to death, as you know.

"Alec, is there anything you can talk about _besides_ training tactics?" I asked, clearly uninterested. He frowned.

"Like what?" He asked, his head cocked slightly to the side in that adorable manner.

"Like, what's your favorite food?" I offered. He shrugged.

"I'm not picky. Anything that my sister doesn't cook," he smiled. I laughed.

"Well, _get_ picky, Mister, I want to know," I demanded. He looked at me, rubbing the back of his neck, shy. I looked at him, waiting patiently.

"I don't know. Um…spaghetti, I guess." I smiled at him, taking his hand. He frowned.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I quirked an eyebrow.

"Um, holding your hand? Something wrong with that? Do you have a chronic fear of hands that I should know about?" I teased. He blushed.

"No, I…I've never held hands before. I, uh, thought you were trying to get my attention or something," he confessed. I sighed and shook my head.

"You Shadowhunters and your fear of physical contact," I groaned. "You'd think the lot of you would have a heart attack if you got kissed."

"I almost did," he mumbled, "remember?" I ducked down and kissed him, making him blush furiously and gasp aloud.

"Yes, darling," I said once we broke apart, "I vaguely remember that." He couldn't look at me for a moment, far too embarrassed.

"Can we talk about something else?" He ventured. I leaned forward in a very sixteen-year-old girl kind of way, leaning with my elbows in the couch.

"Yes, let's talk about you."

That was all I ever wanted to talk about. I could give a speech on that subject that would be ten times longer than any Presidential address, and trust me, those can take _hours_, even days!

I loved being with him, around him, making him smile and blush, talking about things that made him nervous, telling him embarrassing stories about his parents just to make him giggle. God, he was so perfect.

Then came the part of the relationship that I hated. I loathed it. If it had a physical form I would have beaten it until it didn't anymore: The secrecy. The hiding, the lies, I hated all of it. I hated trying to look at him while his family was around and watching him avoid me like I was the plague, then acting like nothing had happened when we were alone again.

I didn't let it show that it bothered me. If I did it might scare him more than the secrecy. He didn't need someone who was needy, someone as pathetic as I was to tell him that I wanted more, that I didn't want to hide all of this and that I was sure I wanted to spend my life with him.

What hurt the most, however, was understanding just how big of a competition I had. I saw the way he looked at Jace. I saw how much he wanted him. I wanted Alec the way he wanted Jace, and it nearly tore my heart out. How was I supposed to compete with someone like that? Someone so utterly perfect, literally golden, in his eyes? I had to try, at least. I had to give him something that Jace couldn't, and that was someone to relate to.

I realize that when Alec liked Jace because he knew he could never have him. It kept his sexuality a fantasy, much like the relationship in his head about Jace. It wasn't real. It wasn't right there in front of him to touch him and hold him and want him like I was.

Alec was afraid of me and what being with me meant. And on top of that, I'm a monster.

* * *

"Magnus, don't be silly, that's-"

"It's just another reason, Adriana," he explained. "It's past, and it did happen some months ago, but it still hurt. I want to get past all this before Alec comes back in, so please…"

* * *

I spent what time with him that I could, and I could see that as the days passed that he was starting to like me. He had those same cravings for me that I had for him. We would be sitting on the couch, watching a movie he'd never seen before –which was nearly every movie in existence, mind you- and he'd crawl his way into my lap or lean his head against my shoulder. Once, when he was very tired he leaned up and kissed my cheek.

But that still didn't take me out of golden boy's shadow. I thought nothing could. And I was right, for a time.

He stayed over at my house on accident once. He fell asleep and he looked far too adorable to wake. I left him nestled against my side, my arm wrapped around his shoulders, his head on my chest. I continued watching Letterman, smiling contently. He stirred after a moment, nuzzling his face deeper in my shirt.

"Jace…" He breathed. I scowled, hating myself. Even when he was asleep he had better things to think about. I didn't blame him. Most people would rather dream about beautiful angels than green-eyed, pointy-teethed freaks of nature.

Don't look at me like that, woman, it's true.

He woke the next morning still in my arms, oblivious to what he'd said hours before. His eyes were wide and worried, understanding that he'd spent an entire night here.

"Oh my god!" He jumped up, tugging on his shoes. I looked up at him, looking bored.

"What's the rush?" I asked, yawning.

"It's morning!" He exclaimed. I glanced at the clock.

"So it is. Do they teach those powers of deduction in Shadowhunter boot-camp?" I asked, smirking. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Hey," I grabbed his arm, pulling him into my lap. I brought my lips beside his ear, knowing that I'd make him freeze and stop trying to get away from me. "Relax." It worked. I looked at him before kissing him slowly, deeply. My tongue parted his lips, working my way inside, trying to coax his mouth into responding. After a moment, he did.

He melted into my arms, heating up the kiss, moving faster, letting his tongue toy with mine. I kissed down his jaw-line to his neck, gently kissing him, trying not to overwhelm him or scare him away. I did the opposite.

He tangled his pale fingers in my hair, pulling me closer to his neck, wanting more. I allowed my tongue to venture to him, sending chills down my spine as I tasted him for the first time. He gasped as well, moaning very quietly. His hands now dug into my shoulders, scraping.

I moaned, biting down out of reflex.

And that was the first time I made Alec Lightwood scream. Such a wonderful sound it was, too. I continued biting and sucking, knowing full and well the extent of the hickey that would be there when I was through. I marked him, making him mine with no one else's consent. It was my own little victory dance in Jace Wayland's direction.

He finally pulled away from me, a blush high in his cheeks, breath trembling.

"Whoa…" He gasped. I grinned up at him, lightly pecking his cheek.

"I'll see you tonight, Alec," I winked. He scurried off me, grabbing his jacket, trying to form the words to speak.

"Um, uh, bye, Magnus!"

He nearly leapt out the door.

I sat back, waving my hand to make a lit cigarette appear. I took a long, slow drag, leaning my head back. "I may get you yet, little Shadowhunter."


	35. Broken Wings

-Rating this chapter **M** for language just in case. Sorry for the wait guys! **Insanepersonishappy, **this one's for you ;) -

35

**Broken Wings**

There were setbacks to our relationship. Nothing that he did on purpose, mind you. My fearful little darling said and did things that hurt me, deeply. Little things, mostly. Making comments about Downworlders when I was around –not thinking, of course, spending hours talking about Jace to me when all I wanted was to kiss him.

He hinted at us being nothing but a fling, something that was only good for the physical aspects, but then I would make him smile and I watched as he doubted his words.

Then…then Alec almost died.

I know, I know. I didn't hear about it until hours later.

I was sitting on this very couch, staring at my phone every few seconds.

"He was supposed to call," I growled. "Why hasn't he called me?" I leaned my head back, sighing, uneasy.

I chewed my lip, tears in my eyes as I wondered: _What if he doesn't want to see me again? What if he's breaking it off?_

My heart twisted, hard, hard enough to make it bleed. I was so addicted to this boy, so incredibly intoxicated by him. I was a dog bound on his leash, sad and angry when he was away but forgot it all the second he came back. He didn't know I felt this way. I suppose it was because I didn't let it show. I tried not to let him know I cared so much because I didn't want to scare him away. I was so afraid of that that he started to think that I didn't care at all, that all I wanted was the physical part.

* * *

Alec closed his phone, disgusted with his mother still. He didn't want to go back there, not after what she said. She hadn't even apologize, she simply said everything that _he_ was doing wrong and that Magnus was doing nothing but manipulating him, turning him against her.

He shook his head, reaching for the knob when he heard Magnus's voice.

"…I suppose it was because I didn't let it show. I tried not to let him know I cared so much because I didn't want to scare him away…" He listened, hand over his mouth as Magnus spoke.

* * *

Anyway, I digress.

I was sitting there, moping, when Chairman Meow came through the window and hopped on the couch, pawing at me frantically. I looked at him, thinking he simply wanted food.

"What?" I snapped. He looked at me, now tugging on my shirt with his teeth. "What, are you hungry, is that it? Well I fed you an hour ago, go play." I brushed him away. He jumped on me, scratching my arms, angry and hissing. "HEY!" I picked up the struggling kitten. "Something wrong?" He nodded. "Is it Alec?" Another nod. I set him on the floor, standing. "Good, kitty."

I've never tried to get somewhere so fast in my life. I didn't bother knocking when I got to the Institute. I simply waved my hand, causing the doors to open with a slam as I stalked inside. Isabelle ran up to me, but I didn't stop. I knew where I was going. I could _feel_ where Alec was.

"Stay out of here," I snarled. "I'll come get you when he's alright."

I shut the door without waiting for her to answer.

I saw him then. He looked so small, so frail. He was whiter than usual, eyes half lidded, body shaking. Hodge had done what they could to clean up the blood, but more was dripping past his pale and parted lips, the haphazard bandages already soaked. He was dying.

"Alexander," I said, sitting beside him. "Alec, darling, can you hear me?" I touched his cheek. He moaned, in immense pain. "Shh, it'll be alright. Shh…"

I waved my hand over him, removing the bandages painlessly. However, the sudden air caused a sting and he hiss, leaning into the pillow.

"I know, I know. It'll be over soon, baby, I promise," I whispered, one hand rubbing his forehead.

"Jace," he sobbed. I froze, staring at him. How is it that he managed to hurt me over and over and over again with that one, simple name. Just one word crushed my heart as if he'd stomped on it.

"No, no, Alec, it's Magnus," I said softly. "I've got you, I'm here, not…not him." His face was cold and clammy. I needed to work fast. "Shh…It won't hurt soon, darling. It'll be alright."

Light sparkled from my fingertips, running over the wounds, making him moan and whimper in pain.

"Shh, I know, I know."

"Jace…" he begged, hurting my heart again.

"Shh…" It wasn't worth correcting him. If that's what he needed, then that's what I would give him. "I'm here, I'm here."

He leaned into my hand, nuzzling against it. I ignored how agonizing this felt and kept working, literally sucking the venom out of him with my fingers. A burning smell filled the air as the poison bubbled and fizzed from the wounds. Tears slid down his cheeks in his pain and delirium. "It's alright, dear. Almost done, almost done."

He sniffled, gasping a little. Sweat poured down my face, hands locked and contorted as the magic poured out of them. It was draining me, sucking the energy right out of my hands. I fought against it, pressing myself. I had to do this, I had to save him. At least a little.

The severe gashes started to close, his body shaking, rattling breaths coming from his throat. "Come on, baby, come on," I growled. The whole room filled with light, dazzling sparks exploding over and over again. Isabelle said something about seeing them coming out from under the door…

He moaned and whimpered, writhing under my hands. God, hurting him was agonizing. I wished there was some other way to do this, some way to spare him from this pain. He was already hurt, why was I making it worse? Damn it, I wanted to find that bastard Abbadon and rip him a new ethereal hole.

When I stopped the gashes were nearly gone. They were merely scratches that were scabbed over and turning into scars. I smiled, rubbing his forehead, gasping for air, so tired.

His breathing had evened, rising and falling slowly, as it should. I wiped the tears from his cheeks, kissing his forehead.

"You're alright now, Alexander."

His leg was sprained and there was a nasty scrape on his temple. With the damage that had been done on his body the _iratze_ still wouldn't work. Thank god for war, eh?

I wrapped his leg to keep it still and bandaged his head, humming softly to soothe him through what I knew would hurt.

I was almost certain I'd gotten all of the poison out. However, you and I both know exactly how greater demons work. It can be hiding, dormant and waiting for the right moment to hurt the host.

I couldn't leave him. If he relapsed while I was gone he might… I had to stay. I had to make sure he was alright and that nothing awful happened to him. And, and damn it, _I _wanted to be the first thing he saw when he woke up.

I sat on the bed, scooping him into my arms as gently as I could before laying down with him. He sighed, nuzzling against my chest, weary. "Shh, it's alright, Alexander. I'm here, dear. It's all over, now."

"Jace…"

_God DAMN IT!_ I cursed silently, tears welling in my eyes. _No! No, why can't he…? Can't he just see me? Why can't he see what I can give him, what I want for him, how much I care about him? DAMN IT!_

I leaned my cheek against the top of his head, letting tears seep into his hair. "No, Alec," I breathed. "Jace isn't here for you. He's off doing Jace things with his girlfriend. He's probably in mortal peril. But I'm here. I know it's not what you want, but maybe it's something you can settle for." I shut my eyes, kissing his cheek. "God, I'd give anything for you to settle for me." I stroked his hair, just cuddling him. How I wished it was something more than a desperate attempt to keep him close. I prayed for the day when he would say _my _name in his sleep, or hold my hand in public, or talk about me to his family.

He woke at about three a.m., dazed and groggy. He looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes, blinking slowly. "Magnus?" He croaked.

"Shh, it's alright," I nodded. "Go back to sleep, Alexander."

"Where's Jace?"

_Fuck._

"Jace is fine, darling. Go to sleep." He looked down at himself, frowning.

"Did…did you fix me?" He asked. God, he was so cute. I nodded.

"Of course I did," I said softly. He smiled a little, leaning up and meeting my lips with a soft, clumsy kiss. I gasped, but didn't pull away. He rested his head back on my chest when we broke apart.

"Thank you, Magnus," he breathed, drifting back off to sleep.

"You're welcome, love."

That flicker of hope that was constantly dimmed brightened again, that hope to keep him, to win in this constant battle of his affection. Despite the beating it had taken, my heart managed to skip a beat at the thought. I-

* * *

Alec flung himself across the room and into Magnus's arms, tears pouring down his cheeks. He squeezed him tight, arms wrapped tight around his neck. He kissed his cheeks and his lips frantically, speaking rapidly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, baby. Oh, god, Mag, I'm so sorry!" He cried.

It took Magnus a moment to register what had happened before he hugged Alec back, stroking his hair.

"Alexander, darling," he said, holding him. "It's alright, I didn't mean for you to hear that." He swallowed the tears that had welled in his eyes.

Adriana looked at the two, her eyes pained.

"God, I was so _stupid_," the Shadowhunter spat. "Jace couldn't…he didn't…Damn it, Mag, I'm so freaking sorry."

Magnus rocked him, shushing him softly. "Sweetheart, you…you were confused. It's not your fault-"

"You saved my life!" Alec interrupted. "And I, I repaid you-"

"With a kiss," Magnus smiled, stroking his cheek. "An adorable, sweet little kiss that I greatly appreciated. The rest was your subconscious. There's nothing to blame here but circumstance, my love," he said softly. "You're mine, now. But the journey to get you there was a little rough for me. And it's _not, your, fault_."

Alec looked at the floor, nestling himself in Magnus's lap.

"Now," the warlock said gently. "I can skip ahead to where we were together."

Alec shook his head. "No, then… then she won't understand," he said quietly. Magnus nodded.

"Alright, then," he caressed his forehead. Less than a second later the boy's eyes closed, sending him into a blissful, peaceful sleep. Magnus smiled warmly, taking the blanket draped over the couch and tucking it around his Shadowhunter. He looked up at Adriana. "Now, let's get on with this without my darling drowning in guilt, eh?"

She chuckled. "Yes, I think that's a good idea."


	36. It's So Heavenly Here

36

**It's So Heavenly Here**

Magnus looked at Alec for a long moment, stroking his cheeks and his hair, smiling when Chairman Meow hopped into the crook of Alec's arm, settling in a little fluffy ball on him.

"Magnus?" Adriana piped, breaking him from his trance.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "He's just so…" He shook his head.

* * *

So, let's see…

Ah, alright.

There came a point where Alec didn't want to leave at the prescheduled time. Coming up with excuses became increasingly difficult as well. It's a little ridiculous when people start to notice the quiet one is gone.

"One more," Alec breathed into my lips, begging for a kiss. I cradled his cheek, suckling his lips in mine, biting just a little to make him moan ever so softly. We were so lost in each other, tangled together, intoxicated. I could smell him, I could feel him. He surrounded me, and I him.

I finally broke the kiss, peeking down the street at the Institute. "You'd better go, darling." I said softly. He stared at me, his lips pinked and swollen. He pounced on me again, kissing me hard and deep. I held him, fisting his shirt in my hand, tangling his hair in my fingers.

"I don't want to," he whispered harshly between a kiss, hot and wet, his tongue tangling with mine.

"Mmn, Alexander," I purred, smiling at him. "I do believe I've created a monster." His smile turned shy.

"I just…I don't want to go yet," he whispered, thumbing my cheek.

"Alec, if I didn't know any better I'd say you care about me," I chuckled. He kissed me again, deep and warm.

"I though I made that obvious?" He whispered. "One more?"

I sighed happily. "_One_," I said firmly, smiling still. It was soft and languid, slow and absolutely delicious.

"Alright," I said softly, painstakingly breaking away from him. "Goodnight, Alexander," I whispered. "Sweet dreams, darling."

"I don't want to go." He was almost whining now. He was absently running his hand up and down my back, toying with my hair with his free hand. I smirked at him.

"I have a proposition for you; you get your cute little self inside and I'll have a surprise for you," I offered.

"And I'll have it when I see you tomorrow?" He asked, curious. I nodded, still smiling.

"You have my word, love." I pecked his lips. "Goodnight, Alexander."

He lingered for a moment, still holding onto me.

"Goodnight, Magnus."

Another moment of looking at me before he went to the Institute, looking back before he went inside.

* * *

_The last thing I wanted to do was leave. I wanted to stay in his arms all night. I hated to admit it, but I really, really liked Magnus. _

_The taste of his lips was overwhelming to me, and highly addicting. I didn't want to go. That was the last thing I wanted. What would I do when I got there? Listen to Izzy ramble about that fairy guy? Or watch Jace and Clary mope about being siblings? Most likely I would end up in my room or the library alone. As usual._

_Jace. He used to be all I thought about, whether I was with Magnus or not. Now I found myself not realizing he existed until I went home, and even when I did I was still thinking about Magnus. It was strange how that worked. _

_I wanted to stay right here, right in his arms where I could smell that unique scent that only belonged to him and feel his warmth, feel his body under his tight clothes. I just wanted to be here with him. _

_Par t of me was fighting it, fighting the feelings I had. I usually listened to that voice. But tonight was different. Tonight I was perfectly content with staying here in Magnus's arms for the rest of my life._

_I kept kissing him, feeling his styled hair and his skin, tasting his full pink lips and wrapping my arms firmly around him, wanting to feel him for just a little longer._

"_You'd better go, darling," He said, his eyes dazzling in this light. I kissed him again, attacking him, wanting him this close to me for as long as humanly possible._

"_I don't want to." I gasped. _

_It was like that for awhile, tit for tat while I continued to get what I wanted, and it was his lips. I got to stall and stay in his arms for just a few moments longer. _

"_Mmn, Alexander. I do believe I've created a monster." _

_I believe he had. I certainly felt like it. I felt myself blush a little. "I just…I don't want to go yet." I was touching his face, that dazzling smile directed at me that melted into a smirk. _

"_Alec, if I didn't know any better I'd say you care about me." _

_Oh, that stupid-_

_I kissed him once more, trying to show him how much I cared, and it was more than I dared to admit. _

"_I thought I made that obvious?" I asked breathily. "One more?" He sighed, smiling. _

"One_." _

_He led this one, being gentle with me, letting me get a good, long taste of him. _

"_Alright," he said, having to force both himself and me away. "Goodnight, Alexander. Sweet dreams, darling." _

"_I don't want to go." I felt like a child complaining about going to bed. Just five more minutes, _five more minutes_ of him would do. _

_But then again, tonight I don't think I would ever get enough of him. There was something in the air tonight, something that made me want him so desperately. Something that made it almost impossible to let go. _

"_I have a proposition for you; you get your cute little self inside and I'll have a surprise for you," he said._

"_And I'll have it tomorrow when I see you again?" _

"_You have my word, my love." _

* * *

Alec sighed in his sleep, snuggling against Magnus's stomach. The warlock smiled at him, still petting his hair. "I don't think there isn't anything I wouldn't do for this boy," he said softly.

Adriana smiled herself.

She'd waited a long time to see Magnus so happy. She'd never wanted anything else for him, and this little Shadowhunter in front of her had brought him that. She could never thank Alec Lightwood enough for that. There weren't the words for it.

"So what did you surprise him with?"

Magnus grinned wickedly.

* * *

He had no idea what he was in for…

* * *

_I leaned my forehead against my bedroom door once I'd shut it, sighing softly. A surprise. Heh, what could he possibly-_

"_Oh!" I jumped, hand instantly going to my stele as I turned. _

"_Whoa, Alexander, calm down! It's me!"_

* * *

"You were in his _room_?" Adriana laughed.

"Absolutely I was," Magnus chortled. "He didn't want to leave me, and he certainly couldn't stay yet another night at my loft. So I decided to stay with him instead."

* * *

First he went pale, then he turned a deep magenta, his expression caught between angry, embarrassed and happy. Yes, such a strange expression for one to make.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" He whispered harshly, taking his hand from his waist and rushing toward me. My smirk stayed, unfaltering.

"Well, you didn't want me to go, and you certainly couldn't stay with me. So, the only other solution would be for me to stay with you," I said. My smile faded. "Unless you want me to go?"

"I didn't say that," he said quickly. "You…you just surprised me, is all." I smiled again, patting the side of the bed I wasn't occupying.

He swallowed hard, blushing all the way up to his ears before sitting beside me.

"What id someone comes in?" He whispered. I touched his cheek.

"The only person in this house that can see me is you," I swore. "So if someone comes in, it's just you, darling."

"Oh…" He cooed, biting his lip nervously. "Okay."

"Do you need me to close my eyes so you can get into your pajamas, or…?" I offered.

"Oh, right," he said, snapping out of a daze he seemed to be in. "Um, yeah, do that."

I smirked and covered my eyes. I did not peek! Lord, I do have _some_ integrity. I wouldn't gawk at the boy like that. It's not right to spy on someone when they're vulnerable like that. Yes, that's right. Now don't you feel guilty?

When he allowed me to look once more he was wearing baggy sweats and a T-shirt that looked so faded it might have been older than him.

He got into the bed beside me, looking at me with those big eyes. I hugged him to me, rubbing his back. I will admit, the shirt was old and worn, but goodness it was soft. Soft enough that I wasn't sure when the sleeves stopped and his skin began.

"So?" I asked, bringing my face close to his. "What do you want to do now?"

* * *

_I stared at him, dumbstruck. What _did _I want to do? Not…not _that_. I wasn't quite ready for that. But I was very alright with this…_

* * *

He started to kiss me, tentative and innocent, as per usual. I smiled against his kiss, holding him tight, one hand tangled in his thick, dark hair.

"Is this okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"This is very okay, darling," I assured.

We kissed for hours, at least it felt like that long. And when his kisses became lazy, his eyes tired and drooping, I thought it was time we stopped.

"Go to sleep, love," I whispered. He laid his head against my chest, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight, Magnus," he said softly. "I…I'm glad you stayed."

I rested my head on top of his, lacing his fingers in mine.

I think that's when I started to understand that I was winning this fight against the Golden Boy. He was down, but certainly not out.

I didn't want to think about that. All I wanted to think about was how _good_ Alec smelled, and how easily he fit in my arms, like he was always meant to be there.

"Goodnight, Alexander," I whispered, kissing his cheek.

* * *

_He was kissing me goodbye when I woke up the next morning. _

"_Do you have to go?" I asked. He smiled knowingly, pushing my hair back._

"_I have an appointment in five minutes that I have to be to, darling. But I'll see you tonight." _

"_I will?" I mumbled, groggy. His smile grew. _

"_If you'll have me." _

_I nodded vigorously, understanding. "I will. I definitely will." _

"_Spectacular," he breathed, kissing me very softly. "And you'll have something to remember me by until I come back." He winked, and then he was gone. _

_I frowned, confused, sitting up and looking around the room. I looked down at myself and blushed, smiling shyly. I was wearing his shirt. I wrapped my arms around myself, breathing deep. It smelled just like him. _

_For that brief moment, I didn't know Jace Wayland existed._


	37. In the Arms of the Angel

37

**In the Arms of the Angel**

We were in Idris when he broke up with me. I told you about that fiasco, yes? Right, I thought I had. Well, I was heart broken, to say the least. I'd tried so hard to make him see me, to show him what I could offer and he still…

I thought I had him. To this day I don't know what changed his mind. Maybe he wasn't as secure in his decision as he thought. Maybe he decided giving me a chance wouldn't be so bad. I had no idea. All I know is one minute I'm fighting Iblis demons, and the next he's there. He stopped a demon from tearing up my designer coat, and me, but that's not the point.

"_Alec_?" I stared at him, wanting to wring his neck from being somewhere so dangerous. Yes, yes, I'm perfectly aware that he is a Shadowhunter and is trained to face danger, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

He had the audacity to ask me why I didn't call him back. _Well, let's see,_ I thought. _It might be because you tore out my heart and threw it on the ground, you only call me when you want something from me and I watch you make goo-goo eyes at someone who not only has his eyes on his sister, but will never look at you like I do_.

I told him that, too. Yes, I was very proud of myself. I wasn't some pathetic thing that would take whatever he gave me…at this particular moment. Well, I'd just slain over a dozen demons and I was just a little agitated.

"…someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do."

"You _love _me?"

Apparently I needed a neon sign the size of the Times Square Jumbo-tron to get my point across. I loved him with everything I had. I'd never loved anyone more. Not ever. And I wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of my life.

I was so angry with him. It took him this long to figure all of this out what I'd been trying to convey from the very beginning. I hated him for that, I really did. I was absolutely enraged and he was shocked about my age. I know, I know, it's frustrating.

Well, he decided to change the subject by acknowledging the demons slowly surrounding us, furthering my irritation. Oh, they could have waited another minute!

"Tell you what," I glared at him, waiting. "We live through this, and I promise I'll introduce you to my whole family."

And, like the pathetic, desperate little thing I am, I smiled, grinned from ear to fucking ear at the prospects. "It's a deal."

I stopped myself from growling like some protective animal when we met up with Jace, Clary and that Sebastian boy that _clearly_ dyed his hair, wanting to hold Alec to me so Jace couldn't get him.

Then that blessed ginger known as Clarissa Fray gave me that book. Lord, I could have kissed her, I swear I could have. I flipped through it, marveling it. And I- Well, you know what the hell's in it, you wrote it!

My joy was short-lived. I had to work on awaking Jocelyn, and making that antidote was a pain in the ass. Everything had to be administered carefully, measured perfectly, it was a chore, let me tell you, but I stayed in Fell's cottage, once I'd fixed it up a little. I needed to stay close to the city in case the Clave called upon me for help…or…or if Alec needed me.

God, I'm so glad I made that decision.

It was almost dark when I heard a soft knock on the door. I frowned, staring at it, making sure I'd heard a noise. I went for the handle when it happened again.

There he was. My Alec. Dressed in all white, traditional red and gold runes on his clothing; he looked more like an angel than ever. But that meant…that meant someone died.

"Alexander," I smiled. "What a pleasant surprise." I looked at him for a moment, studying him. My heart wilted. "Darling, what's wrong? Who…?"

"It…it's Max," he breathed. "Sebastian, he…he killed him."

He was locking sobs in his chest, tears in his eyes. You know as well as I how these Nephilim work. The woman can bawl and wail all they want but the men have to keep it locked inside to fester and rot like psychological problem waiting to happen.

Max was only eleven when he died, Adriana. The poor thing was just a baby… And Alec was crushed. He'd been out trying to fight everything else, with me, when it happened. I could see that even then as he stood in front of me

He looked so tired, and so hurt; the guilt of an elder brother. I took his hand, leading him to the edge of the bed. I sat beside him.

"I should have been there," he said quietly, voice harsh. "I should have stayed with him and Isabelle, I should have been there when…when he…" His voice started to break. He swallowed, blinking rapidly.

"Darling, if you would have stayed he might have killed you both, Isabelle too," I said, unsure of how much help it would be.

"I know, I know," he breathed. "I wouldn't have saved you either, I just…" He stopped again, locking away tears. "I should have been there, Magnus. I should have stayed with him. It's my fault."

* * *

_Don't cry. Oh my god, you can't _cry_! What is he going to think of you if you start crying your eyes out? It's against the Clave as well. I'm not supposed to cry, I'm supposed to be a man about this. _

_I came to see Magnus because…because I knew he could help me. If anyone could make me feel better it was him. I couldn't stay in that house anymore. I couldn't be around Jace, who refused to really speak without being harsh or that stupid vampire that thought he had all the answers or…or Izzy. I couldn't look at her, I couldn't talk to her. Not when I knew I caused her pain. I should have been there for her, I should have been there for Max, I should have killed Sebastian the second I felt something off about him._

_I felt him looking at me, and I looked back. His eyes were pained and tender. He gently reached up and touched my cheek, resting his forehead against mine. "Alexander," he whispered. "I'm not your father. I'm not your brother. I'm not the Clave. I will _not_ judge you, or think less of you, or persecute you if you cry."_

_I stared back at him, lips shaking. He really did love me._

* * *

It was agonizing to see him so upset. But it was worse that he wouldn't let his emotions out.

Alec…Alec can't let his emotions out in another way. If he's angry, he hits things, if he's sad, he cries, et cetera. He can't vent or convert them in any way, he doesn't know how. So they stay where they are to choke him, to drown him. Most of the time he can get rid of them, at least until he snaps. If he's angry and he doesn't let that out he'll be punching holes in walls when he finally lets loose. If he's sad he hold everything in until he's alone somewhere and can scream bloody murder.

I wasn't going to let that happen right now because of some stupid code these Nephilim had. Oh yes, death is a celebration of the deceased ascending to Heaven and it's a happy time, right? NO! Death, especially one of a child, lost in the first spark of life, a paragon of innocence and chaste light, is terrible and should be mourned as the tragedy it is. Saying that a child being murdered is a good thing makes no sense to me. Don't get me wrong, I understand they're just trying to soften the blow and what-not, but really…

I digress.

My point is, Alec needed to cry.

"Alexander," I held his cheek, wishing he'd let those tears escape from those beautiful eyes. "I'm not your father. I'm not your brother. I'm not the Clave. I will _not_ judge you, or think less of you, or persecute you if you cry right now."

He stared at me for a moment, shaking. I frowned. "Alec, darling, come here." I held him close. He wrapped his arms around my neck, burying his face in my shoulder. I felt his shoulders start to shake, the quiet, muffled noises coming from his lips.

"Shh…it's alright, it's alright. Let it out, darling. It's okay."

"He was just a kid," he choked. "He was a little boy and…It's not fair!"

I held the back of his head, glad that he was letting all this out. He cried harder and harder, clinging to me for dear life. I held him, rubbing his back, rocking him back and forth. God how I wanted to make this all go away. I'd seen the little fellow before, yes, and he was absolutely adorable. He was smart, strong and brave, just like his brothers and sister. I know he would have fought, because Alec and Jace would have fought, and he knew that. And that fact makes me certain that "Sebastian" threatened Isabelle's life if Max wasn't quiet. That's how he got him to be so compliant and... I…I can't talk about that poor child anymore, I'm sorry.

"I wasn't there," he trembled. "I wasn't there and that…that son of a bitch killed him. My little brother…he was just a kid, Magnus."

"Shh…" I soothed, cradling him close. "There was nothing you could do. You didn't know, Alexander. It's not your fault." I wiped his cheeks, brushing those tears away. I kissed him gently. "It's alright, love. It's perfectly alright."

He kissed me again, deeper this time. And again, and again, holding my face.

"Alec," I said, trying to break away from him. He continued to kiss me, even running his hands inside my shirt. "Alec, stop." I grabbed his wrists, holding him back. "ALEC!" He looked at me, still crying, still in pain.

"I…I…" He stammered tearfully.

"Listen to me," I said softly. "Don't think I don't want this, I do," I assured, holding his face. "But not like this. I will not let you become your sister."

He collapsed against me, sobbing so hard I couldn't understand what he was saying.

* * *

_I'd never been more thankful to have someone like him in my life. I'd never been more grateful for Magnus's presence. I love him. That's it, plain and simple. I love him. _

_I don't know if I'm brave enough to say it out loud, but I do. I love him. I buried my face in his shirt, smelling his cologne and a faint scent of smoke. _

_My warlock, my Magnus, my love. And it had taken me this long to realize this is where I belong. I need to stay right here in his arms, forever._


	38. Lips of an Angel

38

**Lips of an Angel**

Magnus frowned, combing Alec's hair back with his thin and polished fingers as the boy moaned and mumbled in his sleep.

"Shh, shh…sleep peacefully, my love," he whispered, bending so his lips were beside his ear. Alec shivered a little before sighing, burying his face in Magnus's stomach. Chairman Meow snored a little against Alec's tummy. Magnus smiled. Such a perfect little moment to savor.

He looked up at his friend. "We're almost done with this story, Adriana."

She smiled softly. "I believe it is."

Magnus squeezed Alec to him, holding him tight, kissing his forehead, immersing himself in the boy for a moment before he spoke.

* * *

Well, then, I suppose there's just one thing left to talk about.

He was alright, eventually. He went back to his family and dealt with the rest of the craziness that went on those next few days. Poor thing.

Yes, he introduced me AS HIS BOYFRIEND to his wonderful parents. Yes, Maryse was so kind to me in front of all the other Shadowhunters, but as soon as she's behind closed doors she turns into a raving lunatic.

Anyway, Valentine was dead, Clary and Jace weren't brother and sister anymore and a celebration had broke out in Idris, Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. I stood with my Alec and his family, so happy to be near him, able to hold his hand without him freaking out on me or anything. No more secrets, no more hiding, no lies. It was me and Alec, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I was dressed to the nines as usual, black Victorian jacket and a silk purple vest. Oh, come now, Adriana, you and I both know that nothing touches this body but silk when I go out. Alec was dressed in his usual; soft, faded jeans and an equally worn brown sweater that had been black in another life. And still, he looked spectacularly adorable.

"…get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown."

"Brown?" Isabelle scowled.

"Yes, brown is a very manly color. Alec is wearing it."

He looked down at himself, plucking the shirt. "It was black, but then it faded."

"You could dress it up with a sequined headband," I teased, offering it to him. He blushed, smacking my hand away while I smiled playfully. "Just a thought."

After awhile of listening to Jace and Simon babble about girls, Alec too my hand. "Come here," he whispered, tugging me away from the group.

He was dragging me toward, much to my immense surprise, the dance floor.

"Alexander, do you want me to dance with you?" I asked, smiling. He smiled back, shy and pink.

"Maybe. I just…I want to be close to you. I've been waiting for this all day," he confessed. My expression softened to what I imagined to be a gooey mess.

"Oh, darling." I leaned toward him, meaning to give him a long kiss to show him my appreciation and just how much I missed him.

"Alec!" A voice behind me said. We jumped away from each other, turning to meet his mother's smile.

I shook her and Robert's hands, smiling and nodding as they spoke. Maryse put her arm around her son as she told me I was welcome in her house whenever I pleased. Yeah, she kept _that_ promise.

They finally left us alone when the fireworks started. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. "Can you be happy now, love?" I asked, lips beside his ear. He shivered a little, smiling, and nodded. We looked up at the display over our heads, watching with mild awe with the rest of the crowd.

The colors danced across the sky, my fingers linked in his. I tugged him closer, smiling a little when he rested his head on my shoulder. "I want you to remember something," I said softly. "If we're ever apart, for whatever reason, look at the moon. I'll be looking at it too. That way, no matter what, we're never away from each other."

He kissed my cheek, making butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"You're gonna make Clary jealous," he said. "I don't think Jace gave her the moon." For the first time in at least a century, I blushed.

We stayed like that, so close, so unaware and so unconcerned with the rest of the world until the finale came and went, the last of the lights fading into the black. I looked at him, mesmerized as usual. "What do you want to do now?" I asked. He stared at me for a moment, nervously chewing his lip.

"I…would you, um…I'm kinda tired," he mumbled. I blanched, just looking at him. He was proposing that we…Oh lord…

"Okay," was all I could manage to blurt out. He took my hand, almost jogging toward a sort of hotel about a block away.

"Where are we going?" I asked, slightly confused. He turned maroon.

"I, uh, might have rented a room."

I pulled him to me, kissing him deeply. I let my tongue venture past his lips, delving a lot deeper than I usually did. He gasped, shuddering before melting into me, obliging to my kiss, hands gripping my jacket with desperation I'd never felt in him before.

We gasped when we broke apart, breathing hard and heavy, and this was just a prelude to what would happen in just a short while.

"We, we should wait until we…" He began. I nodded.

We kissed the entire elevator ride, lost in each other. He tugged at my hair, jerking it free from it's prison, making me even hungrier for his flesh. My hands roved all over his body, touching wherever I could reach, knowing that the mystery he left under these tattered clothes would soon be solved. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to know what it felt like for his delicately soft skin to be all over me.

The thought send my blood surging and I lifted him up, allowing him to wrap his legs around my waist.

"God, Alec," I growled, slamming him against the door to our room. He moaned softly, throwing his head back while I ravaged his neck.

"Magnus."

Sweet lord, hearing him say my name like that, with a hint of want and need and lust, there's no other feeling like that in the whole world.

"Easy, easy," he gasped, putting his hands on mine, which were clawing at his chest. "Not so hard, please."

"I'm sorry," I gasped, haggard, but sincere. I kissed him softly, turning my tearing into caressing. I fumbled the key into the lock, getting a firm hold on his back before opening the door.

We collapsed on the bed, me above him. I kissed down his jaw-line and behind his ear, suckling just enough to elicit a sound.

I put my hands inside his shirt, moaning at the feel of his skin. He gasped and whimpered a little. He allowed me to take off the faded garb, leaving me to bury my face in his chest, sighing against his skin. God, he was softer than I imagined and just as beautiful. I felt the slightly raised scars graze my cheeks, my lips attacking his skin. He moaned and writhed beneath me, hands fisting my hair, arcing into me.

I threw the vest from me, letting his shaking and pale fingers work at the buttons. I hugged him to me when my torso was as naked as his.

"Oh!" He squeaked.

"Unf…" I moaned, knowing from the beginning he would feel this glorious.

* * *

_His skin was so hot against mine. I stopped myself from trembling, bit my lip to keep it from shaking, but there was nothing I could do about the unrealistic pounding of my heart. _

_He put his hand on my chest, right over it, looking at me, expression concerned. _

"_Are you alright, darling?" He asked softly. I nodded, the lump in my throat too big to allow me to speak. _

_His hands were fevered and absolutely everywhere. I couldn't get away from him. God, it felt so good. His skin was soft, hands firm but tender, lips passionate. But this was happening so fast. I…I couldn't keep up with him. I hated to admit it, but I was petrified to do this. I wasn't about to tell him that, I'd look like a fucking idiot but…but then our shirts were off and then our pants were too and I knew that he wanted this. I knew he wanted to be closer to me than he'd ever been and show me how much he loved me and I at least owed him that much but…but..._

* * *

"Magnus, wait, wait!" He put his hands on my chest, voice shaking. I looked at him, heart wrenching. His eyes were filled with tears, breath frantic and short. "I…I can't do this," he whispered, ashamed. "I'm-I'm not ready. I thought I was, but I…I can't. I'm so sorry…" His voice broke, a tear leaking to his cheek.

I felt like I'd kicked a puppy or canceled Christmas. The poor thing, so scared, so vulnerable and I'd decided to be a selfish prick and ravage the poor thing. God, what the hell was wrong with me?

I looked at this poor little lamb I'd frightened half to death, holding his cheek, damning myself to the lowest level of hell reserved for pricks like me. "Oh, Alexander," I pulled him close, kissing his cheek. "I am so sorry, darling, I didn't mean to scare you, my love."

"You didn't, you didn't," he assured tearfully. "I'm just a puss, is all. I- Mag, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to- and I do too, I just- I'm so sorry."

"Shh, shh…stop it. Hey," I held his face. "Alexander, I am not with you to have sex with you. I'm here to love you whenever you need me and even when you don't. I love you. And yes, I do want this, but I won't rush it. I've waited 800 years just to meet you. I think I can wait a month or two to make love to you."

That sent him into a fit of embarrassed tears. I held him, kissing his cheek and his temple, shushing him softly. "It's alright, it's alright, darling. Don't cry. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"So…what do we do now?" He asked. I looked down in those big blue eyes, his nose pink from the tears.

I held him close, kissing him. I snuggled down in the covers with him, smiling warmly. "How's this?" He smiled his shy little grin.

"This…this is nice," he said softly. He leaned into my chest. We looked at each other most of the night, saying so much without saying a word. We kissed often; I stroked his hair and his arms, marveling at his beauty.

"Hey, Magnus?" He said sleepily, barely coherent. I was dozing myself.

"Yes, love?"

"I love you."

My heart stopped, eyes flying open as I looked down at him. His eyes were closed, a content smile on his lips. He said it. He said it back.


	39. Through Heaven's Eyes

39

**Through Heavens Eyes**

The happiness I felt in that moment was…well, I'd never felt anything else like it. My Alec, my darling, loved me back. In the past month I'd spent trying and trying so hard to hear those words. I'd fought, begged, and even prayed for that boy's love, and I finally had it. He was mine, no one else's.

We came back home, back to New York, and that's when I learned that Maryse didn't really want me in her house, and I didn't want to be there. Not with her hawk-like gaze burning holes into me whenever she was near, despite that I had saved all three of her children -inadvertently or otherwise. It was impossible to please her, and impossible to be alone with Alec when she was in the house.

So Alec started coming here again, just like before, except now he didn't need an excuse for not coming home. We watched movies, cuddled, talked about nearly everything in the universe, kissed, cuddled…It was excellent.

"I love you," he smiled, looking at me while I stroked his hair. My heart still skipped a beat every time he said it.

"I love you too," I said softly. He leaned up into my lips, kissing me with fevered passion that set my lips on fire. I moaned against his lips, holding the small of his back. We broke apart briefly, still so close we could feel each other's breath on our faces, noses grazing our cheeks.

Something changed in his eyes. That fear of being intimate was still there, but it was different now. It was masked with desire and want. I could feel it in his touch, his wanting hands holding tightly onto my back. He breathed heavily, thumb gently caressing my lower lip.

"Alec," I whispered. "I…" He kissed me, stopping my search for the right words to say. He took possession of my lips, holding my face close to his, so passionate and almost needy. Not nearly as needy as I was.

I wrapped my arms around him tighter, deepening the kiss even further, leaning forward slowly, sending him on his back on the couch. He gasped, cheeks and ears growing pinker by the kiss. I opened my own shirt, allowing him to run his hands up my chest and onto my shoulders, easing the sleeves down my arms before it was off and tossed away.

His wide eyes roved over my bare skin, hands tentative and a startling contrast against my darker skin. He touched my chest and my back. I cradled him close, kissing his neck, my face buried deep in his soft skin. God, he smelled so good…

He gasped very softly, grabbing my hands and shoving them to the hem of his shirt. I pulled it over his head slowly. My mouth went dry, my hands shaking a little as I touched him. I'd failed to appreciate how gorgeous he was the first time we tried this. I looked at the runes so delicate on his pale skin. For someone so strong, he seemed so fragile. That's what I found most enticing about this boy.

Alec is so much stronger than I am, Adriana. The things he can endure…There isn't anything he can't overcome, I know there isn't. That strength accompanied with this rare fragility I saw in him made him more enchanting to me than I ever thought possible.

I carefully traced the runes on his sides, causing goosebumps to shoot up his body. He gasped a little, throwing his head back with closed eyes. "Alec," I whispered. He looked at me, breathing hard. I hugged him again, lifting him into my arms. He wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist as I picked him up. The couch was definitely not the place for that.

I laid him down on my bed, sliding over him. I kissed his chest and his collarbone, removing my jeans before I did anything else. I wasn't about to make him feel the way Armand made me feel. I wouldn't scare him, or hurt him. No…no, no one deserved that…

"Alexander," I said softly, looking at him steadily. "If you need to slow down, or take a minute to recuperate, or stop altogether, don't hesitate to tell me so, okay?"

"Okay," he breathed.

* * *

_He's so incredibly gentle. I can't believe how gentle he's being with me. I knew he loved me, but I didn't know he cared this much. The tenderness in his eyes was almost enough to drown me. I kissed him back, wanting nothing more than to be lost in those sweet lips. _

_He stripped himself naked first, making it easier for me to expose myself to him. I think he knew that. _

* * *

I didn't want to scare him. That was the last thing I wanted. So I held him tight and close, taking off my own clothes before trying to take his. And even then, I asked permission to do so.

"Is this okay?" I whispered, my hands on his waistband.

"Yes," he breathed, nodding rapidly. "Oh, god, yes, Magnus."

He screamed when we first touched each other, so loud I thought I'd hurt him. "Sorry," he blushed. "I…I've never been touched before."

I blanched, staring at him for a moment before I spoke. "You…_never_? Not even by yourself?" He shook his head, blushing.

Sweet God, he really was all mine. No one had ever touched him before. He was totally innocent, and he was giving that innocence to me. If I wasn't so gone, I might have asked him to reconsider.

I continued going slow, kissing his cheeks and his lips, holding him close to ensure that he didn't feel alienated, or alone or…or scared. I tried to be sure that he _never_ felt one ounce of what I did with-

I didn't let him go the entire time. I was always right there with him, holding him, kissing him, loving every second I was this close to him.

* * *

_I didn't know which emotion was stronger; desire, fear, want or love. They all blurred together, the friction between us growing, the air becoming hotter and hotter. _

_That's when the lights started to flicker, both in the apartment and outside. The radio buzzed and the T.V. clicked on once or twice. He moaned in my ear, arms around me tight, breath heavy, body slick with sweat. _

_More, more, faster and faster until I thought I would burst. _

"_Alexander," he whimpered, the lights glowing brighter. _

"_Yes, Magnus! YES!" I begged. God, I'd never felt this way before. Never this close to him or anyone else for that matter. I knew I was giving him something, but I was getting something out of this too, something that would be shared between us for the rest of our lives. At least I hoped so. I was probably really, really bad at this. I mean, I know Magnus had been with other people and-_

"_OH!" I yelped, bucking into him faster. "Oh god, Magnus! I-I'm gonna. I'm gonna, MAGNUS!" _

* * *

Everything went white. My vision, the lights around us. I ended up knocking out every single power grid from here to Manhattan. It was that incredible.

I slammed into euphoria, hearing him scream my name, voice raw.

We gasped, drenched in sweat, limp against each other. I looked at him, combing his hair back and kissing his forehead. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he nodded, tears welling in his eyes. That was a lot of emotion to come down on him at once. I knew that feeling, and I knew what he needed to make it subside. I laid down beside him, pulling him to my chest and kissing him.

"Shh, shh, it's alright. It's alright, darling," I assured.

"It-it wasn't bad. I'm not- I don't know!" He said quietly, a few tears escaping to his cheeks.

"Shh, shh…" I soothed. "I've got you. It's alright. You're alright. Shh…don't cry."

He fell asleep against my chest, telling me he loved me before slipping into that peaceful oblivion. I smiled a little, still stroking his hair.

He stirred, burying his face deeper into my chest. "Magnus…"

And that was it, complete and total confirmation that he had absolutely zero feelings for the golden boy anymore! He said my name in his sleep. He said _my_ name in his sleep. He was dreaming about _me_.

I fell asleep grinning, knowing that my life with him would always be like this. Perfect.


	40. For Good

40

**For Good**

Magnus smiled at her. "And here we are," he offered. She smiled back.

"Well, that was a lovely story," she said, standing. She walked over to her friend, hugging him tight. He hugged her back, smiling still. "And I hope the two of you are happy together for as long as humanly possible…or otherwise." He frowned, staring at her.

"Otherwise?" he said slowly. She pursed her lips.

"Magnus, I saw that book. That page with the immortality spell is so worn it's lucky the thing hasn't fallen out." He looked away. "Magnus," she touched his cheek. "I don't know what you plan on doing about your and Alec's situation, but please…talk it over with him. Don't make any hasty decisions."

"If you think I'm going to turn him immortal-"

"No, I don't think that at all," she said, holding her hands up in defense. "But don't you _dare_ turn yourself mortal without consulting that poor boy. Understand?" He looked down at Alec, frowning.

"I won't," he assured. "I swear."

She nodded, tousling his hair. "I have to go. I have an appointment with a witch doctor in Argentina that can get me a great deal on some wolfsbane." She grabbed her purse. He tossed a small bottle at her.

"Grab me some too, while you're at it," he asked. "I'll pay you back later." She shook her head, closing her hand around the vial.

"Consider it a very, very, very late birthday present," she smiled. "I'll be back in a day or two."

"My door's always open for you," he assured, smiling back.

"It better be," she snorted, heading for the door. "I'd hate to have to open it myself."

He chuckled when she was gone, sighing a little before leaning down. He whispered something incoherent in a language the Shadowhunter couldn't understand.

Alec woke, eyes fluttering. He looked up at Magnus sleepily, smiling. "Hi."

"Hello," the warlock grinned. "Did you sleep well, darling?" He nodded. "Sweet dreams?"

"Yeah," he grinned. He sat up, startling Chairman Meow out of his doze. The kitten bounded off the couch and onto the floor, trotting into the bedroom. Alec kissed his lover deeply, holding his cheeks. "And they made me realize how much how I love you." Magnus smiled back, resting his forehead against his.

"And this only made me love you more." He kissed him again, holding his back. "Now, Adriana went home," he kissed his neck. "So now, it's just you, and, me." Alec grinned. He jumped, sending Magnus on his back, giggling with him.

"I've been waiting for this all day," he confessed. He was just about to kiss him again when the door buzzed.

"DAMN IT!" Magnus roared, sitting up abruptly. Alec frowned, sighing. The door sounded again. Magnus stood, still patting Alec's hand. "I'll be right back, _right_ back, darling, alright? Don't move, now, don't you go anywhere."

Alec giggled as the warlock went down the stairs.

"I swear to god this had better be good or I will MURDER WHOEVER IS ON THE SIDE OF THIS DOOR!"

He ripped it open, drooping when he saw who was there.

"You might have to explain is that to the Clave and I don't think they'll be very appreciative of that," Jace said.

"Hi, Magnus," Isabelle waved. Clary waved as well. Magnus frowned, not amused. "Alec, darling, your family's here!"

Alec bounded down the stairs, frowning.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked. Jace and Izzy looked at each other.

"Mom wants you to come home." He glared at them. Magnus stepped back, allowing them to come inside. He shut the door, looking at Alec steadily.

"Why didn't Mom come tell me this herself?" He asked, voice hard.

"She didn't think you'd listen to her," Isabelle said softly. Alec sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Look, guys, I-"

The door buzzed again.

"Upstairs!" Magnus whispered harshly. "The last thing I need is for you to frighten away my business. Go!" He bustled them up the stairs, waiting until they were gone before he opened the door.

He froze.

"Armand."

Magnus stared into the warlock's red eyes, his own wide, face pale. Armand was grinning wickedly, lip twitching. Magnus coughed, blood spilling past his lips. He looked down at the knife in his stomach, Adriana's cursed blade.

"I told you, Magnus," he hissed. "I always win."

"Hey, Magnus-" Alec opened the door. Armand yanked the knife from the warlock's stomach, grinning at Alec before he bolted out the door.

"MAGNUS!"

He flew down the stairs, his siblings and Clary in tow.

He dropped to his knees beside the warlock, lifting him into his arms as Clary, Jace and Isabelle bolted out the door after Armand.

"Magnus," Alec choked, tears in his eyes. He coughed again, sending more blood to his lips. "Oh god, oh _god_. It-it'll be okay," he assured, covering the gaping wound with his hand. "It'll be alright. I can fix this, I'll-"

"Shh…" Magnus soothed, voice shaky, breath ragged. "It's alright, Alec."

"No, no, it's not supposed to be like this!" He gulped, shaking his head. "You're gonna be okay. You'll be alright, and-and then everything will be better. We're gonna be together forever, right?" He was sobbing, trying to hold the blood inside him, feeling like all of this was just a dream. Magnus smiled a little, using what small amount of strength he had to touch his cheek.

"Alexander," his voice was so quiet and weak. "It's okay."

"You can't leave me," he sobbed, holding his face. "You can't leave me, Magnus!"

"Hey, hey," he was still smiling. "I'll never leave you, not really, my love."

"_You have to fight it!_" Alec whispered harshly, eyes swollen. Tears dripped down his warlock's face, but he kept smiling. Alec was afraid enough. "You have to fight, you can't go!"

"I am, darling, I am," he assured. "That blade would have killed me on contact if-if I wasn't."

He hugged him close, sobbing into his hair. "You can't go. I can't lose you, I can't. I need you!"

"No, no, Alec, you'll be fine," he smiled. He was growing paler by the second, skin cooling. "You are _so _much st-stronger than I am, darling. You'll be al-alright."

He was fading fast, his breath hitching in his throat.

"No, Magnus, please!" He begged. This was happening so fast…it wasn't fair. "I can help you. I can get something upstairs! I-!"

"No!" Magnus said, holding his hand tighter. "Don't go. Stay with me, please," he whispered, holding his cheek again. "I want you to know, these past two months have been the best moments of my life. That's what the point of that story was, Alec. You're everything. You made everything better and eight-hundred years of suffering was worth the t-three months I had with you. I love you, Alexander."

Alec was sobbing so hard his chest was fit to burst. "I love you too, Magnus." God he was so pale, his strength dying with his heartbeat. Despite the tears streaming down his face, the warlock continued to smile in attempt to soothe him, to make it seem like this wasn't so bad.

"O-one more kiss?" Alec took his trembling lips in his own, realizing this would be the very last time. They pressed their foreheads together when they broke apart; so many tears… Magnus gave him one last smile, hand still cradling his cheek. "Alexander…" His breath died away, eyes closing.

He was gone.

"No," Alec whimpered, shaking his head, Magnus's limp and lifeless body in his arms. "No, MAGNUS!" He collapsed against him, screaming into his chest, sobs choking him. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! Oh go-hod, _PLEASE! MAGNUS_!" He slammed his fists into his chest, face contorted in unimaginable agony. "Please, baby, please no…"

He would never hold him again. Never kiss him, or smile at him, or talk to him, or sing to him, or make him laugh or blush, never make him smile, or hold him, or make love to him.

He buried his face in his neck, clutching him so tight his fingers were white. "Come back…"


	41. A Love Without End

-**WARNING! **Strong language ahead!-

41

**A Love Without End**

Alec wasn't sure how long he was there with him, holding him long after his skin had turned to ice, crying until he was hoarse and barely had a voice anymore.

Jace skidded inside, out of breath and angry. "He got away but-"

Isabelle clapped her hand over her mouth, tears springing to her eyes. Clary stood, wide eyed, mouth agape.

"Oh no…"

Jace stepped forward, reaching out to his brother. "Alec…" He touched his shoulder. He jerked away, hanging on to Magnus tighter, sobbing. Jace pursed his lips, hating himself for what he had to do. "Alec, come here." He tried to pry Alec away, tried to wrench him from the fallen warlock, and it took every bit of strength to do so, with Alec fighting the whole way.

"NO!" He screamed, trying to writhe away from him. "NO! LET GO! I can't leave him here! I can't! NOHOH!"

"ALEC!" Jace said, shaking him. "He's gone. He's gone." Alec was still crying, trembling in Jace's hands, barely able to stand.

"I can't leave him here," he whimpered. "It's so cold here, Jace. He'll get cold. Don't leave him here, please!" He begged.

"We won't," he swore, voice gentle. "We won't leave him here, Alec. It's alright."

"No it's not," he said harshly. "It's not alright. It will never be alright." Isabelle came up behind him, taking her big brother into her arms. He collapsed, his knees giving up on him.

"What am I supposed to do?" He sobbed. "What do I do?" He closed his eyes, seeing his face, his beautiful face.

* * *

Alec didn't want anyone near him. Absolutely no one. He stayed in his room, curled in a ball on his bed, and cried. He couldn't do anything else. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't sleep, and he screamed and cursed whenever someone touched him.

"You should talk to him," Jace said. Clary blanched.

"_Me_? Why me? What the hell can I do?"

"You've lost me before. You know how that feels," he offered.

"Jace, that was only for a few minutes! It wasn't…"

"You know better than any of us what he's going through. Maybe he'll listen to you."

She sighed, doubting. "I'll try."

Alec was sobbing into his pillow, speaking incoherently. Clary toed her way in, carefully sitting down on the bed. This was a good sign. The last time Isabelle tried to come in he chucked his lamp at her before she could get through the door.

"Alec," she said quietly. He didn't look at her, but he quieted his sobs so he could at least hear her. "Alec, I…I know it's hard, and I know it feels like the world is ending around you, but…but it will get better. Everything will be okay. It's just gonna take some time."

He sat up in an inhumanly fast pace, his eyes smoldering.

"How the fuck do you know how I feel?" He growled. She stared at him, afraid of him for the first time since he'd slammed her against a wall when she'd revealed she knew he was gay. "You think because Jace died for two fucking seconds that you know how I feel?" He grabbed the front of her shirt, so murderously enraged. "Fuck you." He shoved her back, his tears returning. "Get out."

She bolted, running out of his room and into Jace's arms. "I tried," she said, nodding. "I tried but…" Jace held the back of her head, staring at her brother's door.

"I know, Clary. I know."

* * *

Alec hugged his knees to his chest, crying into them. He was surprised he hadn't run out of tears. His voice was long gone, coming out in scratchy, gravelly spurts. His stomach wouldn't allow any food, and knowing that Clary had who she loved most in the world only made him angry with her. That's why he was so short with her, because she had no idea what it meant to truly lose someone.

He went to hug his pillow again. He frowned, his hands underneath it. He pulled out the fabric he felt there and felt himself be slammed with tears all over again. Magnus's shirt. He hugged it to him. Oh god, it smelled like him. He cried hard into it, saying his name over and over again, as if it would bring him back.

* * *

From his nearly permanent spot outside Alec's door, Jace looked up, frowning. It was quiet. No crying, no screaming, no cursing. Silence.

He stood quickly, barging through the door, yelling his brother's name. "ALEC!" His bed was empty. It didn't take long to find him.

There was a rope around his neck, body hanging from the bar in his closet. "NO!"

He rushed forward, catching the older boy in his arms to relieve the pressure on his neck. With one swift slice of his Seraph blade he was free from the bar.

"God damn it, Alec!" Jace hissed, ripping the rope from his throat, desperately feeling for a pulse. Alec started to cough, gasping raggedly. Jace carefully sat him up so he could breathe before roughly grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. "You son of a bitch, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I can't do this," Alec whispered, unable to get his voice any louder. "I can't do this without him."

"Yes you can," Jace said firmly. "You're stronger than that, Alec, you-"

"What would you do if it were Clary?" He challenged, voice soft, face void of any expression. Jace stopped, looking at him for a moment.

"I…I would have been dead already. But…but this is the third time you've tried this, Alec, and…" He swallowed, trying to get the image from yesterday of Alec's wrists gushing blood out of his mind. He looked at him steadily. "I've already lost one brother. Don't make me lose two."

Alec barely blinked. He brushed Jace's hands away and stood, bandages on his wrists only there from his refusal of an _iratze_. He went to his bed, sitting on it and taking Magnus's shirt in his hands.

Jace stood as well, looking at him sadly. He wasn't sure how Alec would get through this, or if he ever would. "Alec…we still need to bury him."

"NO!" He snapped, eyes filled with tears. "No…"

"Alec, we're going to have to-"

"I said no!" He collapsed over his knees, sobbing into the shirt. "No, no, no, no…"

Jace sighed, taking one more look at his brother before leaving the room, praying to the Angel that he would stay safe…and alive.

The doorbell rang and he groaned. The last thing they needed right now was an outside visitor. It was probably that pestering vampire friend of Clary's that always seemed to be around when no one needed him.

He got in the elevator, weary and tired, wishing that he could go back and change all of this, or find some way to make Alec's pain go away.

The bell sounded again. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he called.

Adriana was smirking at him when he opened the door. "Hello there, Mr. Wayland. Is Magnus around? I've been calling him for days but getting no answer. Are he and Alec holed up somewhere?"

Jace stared at her, eyes wide. She didn't know.


	42. Voodoo

42

**Voodoo**

"Jace?" She urged when the boy didn't answer.

"Adriana…Magnus…Magnus is dead."

She went numb. Any sound in her ears was drowned out by the sound of rushing water that overwhelmed her. She stared at him, disbelieving his words.

"No, no there must be some mistake! I just talked to him a few days ago…" Jace looked at her sadly.

"It's true."

She pursed her lips, glaring at him. "Show me. Prove it to me that he's gone." He sighed, going to the elevator.

When it stopped they were in a basement. Adriana followed Jace, a horrible feeling in her stomach as she did. He opened the door to what used to be a wine cellar, gesturing for her to go inside. Her insides turned to ice, her heart jumping to clog her throat. "No."

She walked slowly to the table Magnus was lying on, face still, void of expression, void of life.

"I don't get why he isn't decomposing," Jace said softly.

"Warlocks don't," she said, surprised she was able to speak at all.

She gently touched her friend's face, tears in her eyes. He'd been like her little brother for so long now, centuries, and now he was gone. "Oh, god, Magnus… Who did this to you?" Her lips shook, tears falling. She tentatively touched his cheek, brushing his hair from his eyes. Magnus always seemed so full of life, warm and giving. Now he was here, cold, still, rigid. It wasn't right.

"Armand." She jumped, forgetting that the boy was there.

"What?"

"That's who did this; Armand," he said softly.

Her sadness was replaced with rage. Boiling, horrible, murderous rage that made her want to slaughter everything in sight. "Armand?" She growled. He nodded. "That…that SON OF A BITCH!" Her hands sparked to life, ablaze with purple flame. "I'll kill him, I swear to god, I will!" She turned away from him, hot tears streaking down her face. The fire flickered out as she wiped her cheek, still looking at her fallen friend. She moved his folded hands, looking at the deep gash they were covering.

She touched it gently, pulling back the bloody, sticky fabric of his shirt to see it. "That bastard used my knife. He used my fucking knife, _DAMN IT_!" She slammed her hands on the table Magnus laid on. "How long has he been…?" She couldn't say it.

"Um, about a week," he said softly. She looked at Magnus sadly, touching his hair again.

"I need to see Alec," She demanded.

"I don't think-"

"Jace, I need to see him now!" She said firmly. The Shadowhunter blanched, realizing it was the first time she'd called him strictly by his first name. "Please, I…I need to see something." Jace frowned, looking at her steadily.

"Can you…can you save him?" He asked, slightly hopeful. All he wanted was to end his brother's suffering and agony. It wasn't fair.

"Just let me see Alec, please." He could see her age right now. Despite the youth of her body, she looked so very tired, so weary, and incredibly sad.

He led her back upstairs to Alec's room. He could hear him crying on the other side of the door, wondering if he would be so lost in his thoughts that he wouldn't notice the door opening.

He didn't.

He was crying into the bright green shirt that was so incredibly stained with tears. "I miss you," he whispered, choking on air. God, he didn't even know they were there. "How am I supposed to go on without you? How…Oh god, why can't you be here with me?"

Adriana put her hand over her chest, as if shielding it from Alec's words. She looked down, sighing heavily.

"I'm going downstairs again. Keep Clary and your sister away from the basement. Don't let anyone come down there, understand?"

"Adriana?" Isabelle poked her head around the corner, dressed down, depressed as well. "What's-?"

"Go back to your room, Isabelle," the witch said gently. "Go get some sleep."

She stalked away without saying another word, rushing to the basement.

Alec was going to die of a broken heart very soon. He was so thin, and so weary for someone that young. He was literally wasting away to nothing, and she wasn't about to stand by and watch it happen.

She shut the door behind her, looking at Magnus's body.

"He needs you," she whispered. "And he'll die without you. So I'm gonna wake you up…even if it kills me."

* * *

"_Alexander!" I searched this vast, empty space. It was nothing but white fog. I knew Alec was here somewhere, but I just couldn't find him. I had to find him, I had to make sure he was safe. I needed to hold him and kiss him. Going this long without him was killing me. _

_I could hear him crying, saying my name, begging for me. "ALEC!" I called, knowing he couldn't hear me but still trying desperately. "Alec, I'm HERE! I'm RIGHT HERE!" _

_Nothing. Endless eons of nothing. I needed my angel. I needed my Shadowhunter in my arms again. _

_Then another voice. Louder, clearer, and getting worse as time went on. I frowned. I knew that voice…_

"_Adriana?"_

* * *

Magnus gasped, sitting straight up, looking around wildly. He didn't recognize. His joints were stiff, head pounding, body freezing.

"Magnus."

His head swiveled, still breathing hard. His eyes grew.

"Adriana?" It was her, but…she…she looked older. What had once been his twenty year-old sister now looked like his thirty-five year-old mother. She smiled, hugging him tight.

"Oh, thank god! I can't believe it worked," she said, relieved. He was still confused as he hugged her back.

"Adriana, what…what happened?" He asked, his voice hoarse, throat on fire. He coughed, graciously taking the water from her.

She hesitated, biting her lip.

"You…you died, Magnus." His eyes grew.

"What? Died, I…" He remembered then. Armand's knife in his gut. He absently touched his torn shirt, the memories flooding his mind. And Alec- "Alec!" He stood, wobbling on his knees, made weak from lack of use.

"Whoa, easy," She held his shoulders, holding him still. He looked at her, mind spinning.

"Why do you look like that?" He wondered. "Oh, God, how long was I-"

"A little more than a week," she said. "I brought you back. The resurrection spell I made requires, well…a younger warlock would have lost their life if they tried. He stared at her in disbelief.

"You gave up some of your life force to…to save me?" He breathed. She nodded, smiling. "Why the hell would you do something stupid like that?" Her face was serious now, eyes painfully sad.

"Because Alec needs you," she said softly. Magnus smiled a little.

"Where is Alec? Is he alright?" His smile disappeared when he saw her expression.

"Magnus, Alec…Alec is dying. He can't live without you. He's tried to…" She paused, watching the horrified look on his face. "He won't eat, he won't sleep he…he's tried to kill himself at least four times."

There were tears in Magnus's eyes. "No…no, Alec is so strong! He's so much stronger than I am. He shook his head, standing again, finally able to walk. "Where is he? I need to see him. I need to tell him."

"Upstairs in his room," she said softly. Magnus nodded, taking a deep breath, happy that his voice was coming back as well. He rushed to her, hugging her as tightly as he could.

"I can't thank you enough for this," he whispered. She smiled softly, hugging him back.

"Consider this my formal apology for leaving you," she said. He looked at her another moment. "Be gentle when you see him. He'll have a heart attack if you don't."

"Thank you, Adriana," he whispered. She shook her head.

"Go."

* * *

Magnus peeked inside Alec's room, his heart breaking when he did.

Alec, defeated and weak, was lying on his stomach, facing away from the opposite side of the bed, crying so softly he could barely hear him. God, he was barely breathing. He didn't notice when Magnus came in, he didn't even blink.

He lied down beside him, touching his arm.

Alec gasped as if he'd been doused in icy water.

"Alec," Magnus breathed. Alec whimpered. "Darling, it's me."

"No," he choked. "No, it can't be you." He trembled under the warlock's touch.

"Shh, it's me," he assured. "It's me. Look at me, Alec."

"No!" He sobbed. "I can't!"

"Why not?" Magnus asked gently, wishing the boy would allow him to take him in his arms.

"Because you-you'll be gone when I look. You're always gone when I look…" The warlock carefully rand his hand up and down his side, trying to comfort him. God, he felt so thin, more fragile than usual.

"I won't be gone, baby, I promise."

"You promised you'd never leave me!" He shut his eyes, crying hard. "Please, Magnus…"

"How can I prove to you that I'm really here?" Magnus whispered, lips beside his ear. Alec bit his lip, heart wrenching.

"You could never hold me," he choked. "No matter how much I begged…"

"Look at me first, my love. Please. Let me show you I'm really here," he pleaded. "Please."

Alec took a deep breath before he moved, using what little strength he had to roll over. His heart skipped a ragged beat. There he was. His Magnus. His Warlock. His love.

"Magnus," he trembled. He'd never looked more beautiful than right now, a small smile on his wonderful lips.

"I'm here, Alec." He pulled the boy into his arms, allowing him to cry. They each had what they wanted. Each other.

-More Malec TLC next chap!-


	43. As Long as You're Mine

43

**As Long as You're Mine**

Alec cried so hard he couldn't speak. He buried himself in Magnus's chest, trying to immerse his whole body in him. The feel of his arms around him, the smell of his skin filling him to the brim, the sound of his voice, it was almost too much to take.

"Shh…" He stroked his hair. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here now. Shh…"

"H-how?" He trembled. Magnus smiled gently at him, wishing he would stop crying. God, it was breaking his heart.

"Adriana saved me. She saved me for you," he said softly. He started sobbing again. Magnus held the frail and fragile boy, kissing his forehead. Alec whimpered. "Shh, shh, it's alright." The boy looked up, anger sparking in his eyes.

"You broke my heart," he hissed. "How could you leave me like that? How could you? You promised that you'd never do that to me!" He pounded his fists against his chest, sobbing. Magnus allowed the abuse, hardly affected by his blows. He was so weak…

"Hey, hey!" He gently caught his wrist in his hand.

"Ow," Alec choked, wincing. Magnus frowned, looking at his wrist, his bandaged wrist. He took Alec's face in his own hands, eyes housing stagnant tears.

"Why did you do this?" He spat. "Why would you do this to yourself for me? You promised you wouldn't do it anymore. You promised!"

"I guess we both did," Alec whimpered. Magnus looked at him, cradling his cheek. Slowly, he leaned forward, kissing him.

The tears slammed the boy all over again. He crushed their lips together, tears streaming down his face. He let the kiss linger, memorizing the feel of his lips. "I love you, Magnus. I love you so mu-huch!"

"I love you too, baby. I love you too." Another kiss. Alec sobbed openly, shaking. "Shh…shh…It's okay. I've got you, baby." The warlock looked at his weary Shadowhunter, fingers grazing the bruises on his neck. "Alec, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I left you."

"Never again," Alec gulped, rapidly shaking his head.

"No, I'll never leave you again. I swear. Shh," he combed his fingers through his hair, wincing as Alec trembled in his arms. "I missed you," he confessed.

"Where did you go?" He blinked up at him, eyes innocent and naked.

"I don't know," Magnus said, letting the tears out. "But I spent the entire time trying to find you. I just wanted to hold you again." He buried his face in his neck, holding the back of his head and gently kissing him.

"Don't let go," Alec begged, still barely able to speak. His voice was more hoarse than Magnus's was when he woke up. "Plehease, Magnus, don't let me go."

"Hey, hey," he said softly. "I won't. I'll never let you go." He squeezed his tighter as if to prove his point. He sniffed, heart aching at the sight of the deep, dark bruises on his neck.

Suddenly there was a very loud gurgling noise. Magnus frowned, looking down at him. "Was that your stomach?"

"I-I haven't eaten since…since it happened," he coughed. Magnus closed his eyes, sitting up, taking Alec with him.

"Come here, baby. Come here, come here…"

Alec wasn't sure how, but Magnus was carrying him, arms enveloping him. He inhaled slowly, breathing the soft, sweet smell of his clothes, clean ones. No blood… He buried his face in his chest, arms wrapped around his neck.

"Shh…I've got you, baby. I've got you. It's alright."

He sat him down in the kitchen, ignoring the startled gasp Isabelle gave as he passed her. "Izzy, can you reheat the soup in the fridge please?" He asked gently. She stared at him, mouth agape.

"How did- how are you-? I-?"

"Adriana brought me back, Isabelle."

"Oh," she said, awed, still not moving. She shook her head, gaining her bearings and going to the fridge.

"No!" Alec gasped as Magnus tried to pull away from him. "No, no, don't let me go!"

"Hey, hey…" the warlock soothed, rubbing the back of his head. "Shh, shh, it's alright. I'm right in front of you, okay? I'm not going anywhere. You need to eat, my love."

Alec ate, never taking his eyes off of him. He was so engrossed with making sure Magnus didn't move that he didn't notice how awful Isabelle's soup was.

"Are you full?" Magnus asked softly once the bowl had been emptied a third time. Alec nodded, his eyes swollen and almost purple, like he'd been punched. Magnus took him in his arms again, lifting him up like a child, marveling at how _small_ he felt.

He carried him back to his room, knowing the next thing he needed was sleep. He lay beside him, holding him close and kissing his forehead. He tucked the comforters around them both, waving his hand over Alec's forehead, spreading comforting warmth through his body, making him drowsy.

"I watched the light leave your eyes," he whispered tearfully. "I felt the life leave your body and your skin get cold." Magnus looked at him, tears welling in his own eyes. "I don't know what to do without you."

"Shh…Shh, it's alright. It's alright, baby. Everything's gonna be alright," he assured. "Right now you need to sleep."

"No," he whispered, clutching onto his warlock. "What if you're gone when I wake up?" He sniffed.

"I won't be," Magnus swore, kissing him. Alec's desperate and wanton lips clung to him, milking the kiss for everything it had before he allowed it to be over. "I'll be right here when you wake up, darling. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here for you, baby. Shh…"

They held onto each other, Alec refusing to let go out of fear that he'd disappear if he did. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said softly. "So much." He ran his fingers through his hair, kissing him softly. "Sleep, Alexander. Sleep, baby. It'll be alright. I won't leave you again, I promise."

"Could you sing to me?" He whispered, knowing when Magnus sang a certain lullabye in a soft elfin language he went right to sleep, calm and happy, no matter how upset he was. Magnus smiled a little, kissing Alec's temple. "Of course."

He sang softly, his cheek beside Alec's, running his fingers through his hair, thankful for every second. Alec's eyes drooped no matter how hard he tried to keep them open, hand clinging to his shirt.

Magnus waited for Alec to sleep, still looking at him, still singing until he was totally settled.

"Is he alright?" He looked over at Adriana, who was leaning against the doorway.

"He will be, once the initial shock is over." He still couldn't believe she looked like that. So much older.

"Maryse is having a fit," she said, rubbing her temples. He sighed, looking at Alec.

"Just keep her away from him for awhile. He doesn't need her screaming at him when he's like this," he said softly.

"Don't worry, she won't. If she knows what's good for her," she growled. "Jace talked her down for now. She just wanted me to tell you that this doesn't change anything." He sighed.

"And I understand that. Right now, though, Alec needs me," he said softly. "So when all of this settles, I'll happily leave her house for the rest of my unnatural life."

She nodded. She went to him, patting his head. "I'm glad you're back, Magnus." He smiled at her.

"I'm glad you brought me back."

He turned back to Alec, still cuddling him close. He didn't plan on sleeping tonight, he couldn't. He wanted to look at him, to touch him, to reassure his sleeping love that he was here and wasn't about to leave him.

Adriana smiled from the doorway, happy in her decision.

Warlocks were complicated creatures. She was immortal, yes, there was no doubt about it. But when she brought Magnus back she drained her life force. In laymen's terms, it weakened her powers. Not by much, but she wasn't nearly as powerful as she was. She could rebuild that power, of course, but it took a lot out of her. And standing here, watching Magnus look at Alec the way he was, seeing Alec's face light up when he saw him made it all worth it. The right decision had been made.

* * *

"I can't believe Alec behaved the way he did," Maryse spat. Jace looked up, brow furrowed.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Blubbering the way he was. I thought I raised him better than that. You certainly wouldn't have spent the better part of the week crying in your room about something like this." Jace glared at her. Lately, it seemed, that he couldn't stand being in the same room with her. The way she spoke about Alec and Magnus, and now she acted as if she were disgusted at the thought of her own son.

Clary watched Jace tense, his eyes harden, fists clenching on his jeans. She touched his arm, trying to trying to calm him.

"Maryse, if I would have lost Clary the way Alec lost Magnus I would have killed myself the very same day. So I guess you're right. I wouldn't have lived long enough to die of heartbreak," he said darkly.

She had no reply to that. She simply went back to whatever she was reading, muttering softly. "I still need to talk to him. I want my son home to stay."

Isabelle scoffed and shook her head. Maryse ignored her.

"Try to actually let him talk, Maryse," Robert said, speaking for the first time in hours. She stared at him, lips pursed. "He gets to have an opinion on this."

"I know, Robert."

* * *

Alec opened his eyes and grinned. Magnus sighed, relieved at his expression. "You don't know how good it is to see you," he whispered. Magnus chuckled.

"Oh, I think I can take a guess, my darling." Alec's eyes were still swollen, and they probably would be for the next couple of days. But he was smiling. He was kissing him back. The warlock couldn't be more grateful to see dimples instead of tears.

They were kissing. Deep, soft kisses that could only lead to something else.

"Not here!" Alec said urgently, but there was a small smile on his lips. Magnus grinned wickedly.

"Why not?" He asked playfully, kissing his neck.

"Because! This is my house! Someone could hear us!" He exclaimed quietly. Magnus giggled against his neck, still kissing to make Alec squirm.

"Well, that's the best part, isn't it? The prospect of someone hearing. Like your mother, who kicked me out of your house forever? Who called me all of those nasty names?"

Alec grabbed Magnus's face, kissing him hard. "You are a manipulative son of a bitch, you know that?" They smiled at each other.

"Oh, I know."

Alec bucked into his hips into Magnus's, causing the warlock to moan. "Then manipulate me."

"As you wish."

* * *

"I wonder if they're alright," Isabelle sighed, looking at Clary. Clary opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by an outcry from the other side of the door beside them.

"Magnus, oh, Magnus, OH!"

The girls grinned, shocked.

"I think they'll be just fine," Clary giggled, rushing away fro m the door.

* * *

Alec held Magnus in his arms, a rare occurrence that he wanted to take advantage of.

"Can I ask you something?" He said softly.

"Absolutely," Magnus said lazily, cheek rested against Alec's chest.

"I…Magnus, I'm gonna get old one day. And you're not. What…what are we going to do about, about that?"

The warlock looked up at him, a deep sadness in his eyes. "Alec, I…I don't want to talk about this now," he whispered. "I want to enjoy being here with you before you have to go talk to your mother and get into a screaming match because of me."

"But…we will talk about it later, won't we?" He said softly.

"Absolutely," Magnus said immediately. He held Alec's cheek, kissing him softly. "You heard my story, my darling. You know how much I love you, you know what I did to wait for you. And now…Now I just want to be here with you. Is that alright?"

Alec smiled and kissed him. "It's perfect."

Suddenly someone pounded on the door, breaking their kiss.

"Magnus!" Jace barked. "Your cat won't leave Church alone!"

* * *

Adriana stalked down the street, angry. She'd been gone for no more than five minutes when Armand did what he did. She didn't understand his motives. Did he think killing Magnus would make it all go away?

"Adriana." She looked up, eyes murderous.

"You've got a lot of fucking nerve coming here," she growled, hands roaring to life.

"I'm not really here," Armand said, smirking. "What's wrong, Adriana? Sad I killed your pet?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "You honestly think that knife even put a nick in Magnus? He got up from that _minutes_ after you left. He's perfectly fine." He cocked his head to the side.

"You can't lie about that, Adriana. I can see it in your face. You performed that resurrection spell, didn't you? You're weak-"

"Just because that spell drained some of my power doesn't mean I'm less powerful than you. I'm going to find you, Armand, and when I do I am going to kill you. I promise you that," she growled.

"You'd better watch your back," he warned. "I don't know if that knife will work on you, but I'm willing to try."

She grinned. "You mean this knife?" She held it up, turning it over in her hand. He stared at her, wide eyed. "You need to be more careful, Armand. You're getting sloppy." He continued to stare at her. "Sleep with one eye open. Because I will find you, and I will get vengeance for what you've done to Magnus."

"Go ahead," he grinned. "Because I believe in eye for an eye, Adriana, and I have no problem acting on that."

And he was gone.

Adriana closed her eyes, letting the fire at her fingertips die away. She turned, stalking back toward the Institute.

This was far from over.

**END**

-Well it was hard, you guys, but WE DID IT! After a YEAR of this story it's finally done, but this series is NOT over. There will be a threequel very soon and I hope to hear from you all when it is posted. Thank you all so much for reading this and coming along on this awesome ride! Thank you again and God Bless!-


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